Worst concert you've ever seen?

Eric Clapton at the Manchester Arena. It was a birthday present from my brother in law. I didn't have the heart to tell him that I was bored beyond measure.

Until now, the worst concert I've seen was LaMorte Young, a so-called "supergroup" of noise music... which I found more boring than a New Age recital: the drummer was the only one apparently alive and conscious. The other musicians seemed to be on their own little worlds.

Oh, must I talk about this concert I saw in high school from a bunch of other teenagers who made no rehearsal at all before coming on the stage?

The worst concert I've seen was also one of the best I've seen.

My band played a local festival show once. Desiring to support the local music scene we stuck around after our show to listen to the other bands. Most of them weren't bad, many of them forgettable, but not bad. Until a band called Amazing Energy stepped up on stage.

Their music was mediocre, but fun. Punky, moderately well played. Really loud. Whatever.

The real revels were the members themselves.

First off, they suckered some poor college girl into playing rainstick that show, no mic, no other percussion. Enter Reginald something, who goes by Scott Panther onstage. An overweight middle-aged salt-and-pepper sweating profusely in a black t-shirt, manning guitar, lead vocals, and sexual assault, as he put down his guitar several times to attempt to dance sexually with the obviously uncomfortable girl. He even kissed her at one point. It obviously was not that uncomfortable for her, though, as she stayed up on stage the whole show. He also threw merchandise (which wasn't theirs) into the audience and drank other people's beer and hugged people. Punk, right?

Enter Gahd Cop, the ridiculously named drummer who could not keep from absolutely smashing his drums. His snare almost fell over. Then a screaming, jumping thirty something in a two-sizes-too-big Killer Clowns From Outer Space T-Shirt, turned down very low in the mix. In their introductions, which were hard to make out because Scotty boy, Deity Law Enforcement Officer, and B-horror temper tantrum toddler were all talking over each other the entire time, I believe I heard the lattermost called a priest for a Church of Religious Consciousness.

Then there was the jaded Sunglasses-clad bass player to whom Mr. Panther was teaching the songs on stage, during the show. And finally, there was an inaudible middle-aged Japanese saxophonist in a catstronaut shirt.

All their songs were about lovin' and acid, except for one song about death and peanut butter. It was terrible, but terribly entertaining.

To a large extent because they are/were major heroes of mine in the wider world of music .... Van Morrison, Emmylou Harris and Willie Nelson. VM was the worst cos we had seats three rows from the front. He was late, drunk and quite obviously completely uninterested in the proceedings. ELH cos a friend of hers had recently died and in an otherwise uninspiring performance she kept inserting effing Jesus songs into the set as a nod to her late friend. Willie was simply going through the motions and gave the impression he simply couldn't care less.

 

Bob Dylan/Tom Petty/Grateful Dead, JFK Stadium, July '86....Dylan croaked thru a few numbers - he seemed pissed off about having to play at 4pm on a 104 degree day - he kept popping into this tent set up behind his mic to smoke cigarettes.  Then Tom Petty came strutting out in skinny jeans and a top hat and proceeded to bore us all silly.  Then - heartbreakingly - the Dead just couldn't get it up.....Jerry seemed sick, almost lifeless, and the band always looked to him for inspiration and direction and there was nothing coming from him that day.  Brutal heat, horrible booming and distorted sound, a hundred thousand people and 120 degrees down on the field....a bunch of us left early to get to the next town on the tour giving the show up as a rough day at a sh*tty venue.  Thing is, the band never showed up the next day - Jerry's body gave out - he went into a coma after the show, nearly died - and the rest of the tour was cancelled.  Total bring-down, man....the whole scene harshed my mellow. 

I cannot remember ever having seen a really bad concert.
I remember a Yes concert, a Pink Floyd and a Jethro Tull concert where the magic had a bit gone.
I remember support acts that were boring. They were often boring. They are supposed to be boring, in a way. But that doesn't count.

I guess I was lucky.