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SteveG View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote SteveG Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: February 10 2020 at 06:24
I don't have any advice on kicking this brutally additive habit. The only way that I have been able to stop smoking is by playing a mind game with myself. It's terrifying for me to say that I've quit so I just say that I've given cigarettes a break. A break that's lasted since 2013. You have to find what works for you.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Gentle and Giant Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: February 10 2020 at 07:29
I smoked heavily from 13 to 50. I rolled my own too so likely much worse without filters. I started vaping in 2013, and without that I couldn't have stopped the smoking. I make my own eliquid too and have, very slowly, reduced nictotine content to hardly anything now. I do like smoking, but the smell on it on others' now is horrible. I've often said that if I went to a doctor and he told me I had months to live, the first thing I'd do is buy some tobacco and papers.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote dougmcauliffe Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: February 10 2020 at 19:10
Originally posted by ExittheLemming ExittheLemming wrote:

I was a very heavy smoker (30 to 40 a day, maybe more at the weekend) but finally quit smoking 8 years ago (I'm 57) and 'cold turkey' was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life so I can empathize with those who are finding it tough. My mood swings were on the cusp of bi-polar and I gained a lot of weight. There is no real secret to quitting but what I found pivotal in the end was simply 'dropping' every single one of my acquaintances who smoked. Yes, that sounds a tad extreme but desperate measures etc. The vast majority of said acquaintances never sought out my company afterwards so maybe we were just bonded by slavery. Best cure for a lot of addictions is thinning out the herd...One of the best incentives of all is that it's an instant 'massive' pay rise.




I’ve been thinking I might have to drop one of my best friends due to his extreme vaping habits. In general this person does nothing to better himself and he just smokes pot every single night. I’ve tried encouraging him to quit but he says he doesn’t think he’ll ever quit and knowing him I’d agree. The thing hat really boils my blood is when has asks me to buy him drugs, I’ve made it clear that I won’t be his plug but he’s just a nicotine fiend. I’ve grown an extreme resentment towards him and honestly I think cutting him off would be the only way to get the point across that I want nothing to do with the drug. The thing is, he is still my best friend and we can talk about anything. He got me into prog and we’ve talked everyday for the last couple years but I don’t like surrounding myself with people who have no sense of fulfillment or drive in life. Even when I was a regular user I still practiced piano 2-3 hours a day and had a life, but it seems the person I am now just isn’t compatible with someone like that and it’s really bothering me.

Edited by dougmcauliffe - February 10 2020 at 21:29
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ExittheLemming Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: February 11 2020 at 00:40
^ If he's a true friend, he will respect your wishes to be left alone for a while to assist in your goal to kick the habit. Once you really have quit for good and feel strong and confident in the company of smokers, if he's sincere, he will seek you out (not vice versa) to help him quit his own addictions. (As you will have remained a friend but also become a role model)


Edited by ExittheLemming - February 11 2020 at 00:42
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote timothy leary Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: February 11 2020 at 16:19
Who knew that quitting smoking was actually more satisfying than smoking?
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Davesax1965 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: February 12 2020 at 08:34
I'd like to firstly start by congratulating Doug on how far he's got and secondly say that the rest is relatively easy. 

I seem to be the only unrepentant smoker on this thread, but please don't think that I either advocate smoking or am some kind of monster or moral degenerate for doing so: simply put, it's the lesser of many evils I've tried, and some people can't live blameless lives. Me, for one. 

Concerning addiction: it is so good to beat any kind of addiction which holds you in it's thrall. I've lost several good friends to either alcohol or heroin. None of them were bad people, they were just... unlucky. And lost.

My personal bugbear was alcohol. Put it like this, when you can drink three quarters to a bottle of scotch a day and remain sober - well, "sober", then you and your liver have an increasing problem. After three good friends drank themselves to death in their late thirties and early forties, I had an epiphany and haven't had a drink since. Fifteen years dry. I gave up overnight, basically said that's enough. I'll be dead if I do this any longer, I get absolutely no pleasure from it, time to give it up. 

And I think that's the key. If you're ready to give up, giving up is easy. There will be a price to pay. Be prepared to pay it. I used to think it took willpower, but it seemed, for me, anyway, just to take clear thinking and logical thought. Do it or die. 

Of course, some people die. 

However, I made it through it, and God above, did it feel good to be sober afterwards. I made a promise to myself never to even go in a pub again, incidentally. 

Of course, most people here will know that I had a stroke four years ago. It wasn't alcohol or tobacco related, I'd given up both at the time, just a bizarre accident with an artery in my neck. 10,000 to one thing. At that point, two things happened: I had no fear of death, I'd lost so many friends that I knew you could die at 50, easily. (Having been in the Grim Reaper's front room, I've lost all fear of death, incidentally) - and - I knew I had to get better for the sake of my family, at least. So, like with any addiction, where you know you have to do something to change your life, I got moving, I got exercising, I got active and I remained positive with an eventual goal in mind, and I got 98% of the way there. 

There were days, weeks, months when I'd rather have just sat on the sofa, but - no choice. Price to pay, get up and get moving. It's the same with giving up cigarettes or booze, if you really want to do something, if you really want to achieve.... you have to look at the bigger picture and actually keep going. 

It feels good at the end. Three years on, I was such a mess, I'd put on at least 75 pounds through not being fully mobile, I was walking with a stick for a year. Same again as with booze, I thought, right. Time to take charge of my life, I was so overweight (275 lb, six feet) that I developed Type 2 diabetes. 

I'm now 200lb, I am no longer Type 2 diabetic (the nurse is amazed) with plans to lose another 20lb. All done in a year. And I feel so much better. Hard work but worth it. 

Back to the subject. Doug, all here, excuse my rambling and occasionally dabbling with a pipe. Please keep going, you'll do it, it's worth it: anyone can do anything if they set their minds to it. Hope you get there, fella, throwing off the chains is a great thing to do. All the best. 

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Davesax1965 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: February 12 2020 at 08:36
PS I'd raise a glass to you, but it's only fizzy juice. ;-) No sugar, either. 

Edited by Davesax1965 - February 12 2020 at 08:38

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Barbu Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: February 12 2020 at 09:04
Originally posted by ExittheLemming ExittheLemming wrote:

^ If he's a true friend, he will respect your wishes to be left alone for a while to assist in your goal to kick the habit. Once you really have quit for good and feel strong and confident in the company of smokers, if he's sincere, he will seek you out (not vice versa) to help him quit his own addictions. (As you will have remained a friend but also become a role model)


True, sincere friendship? Kind of like a concept from another, long-gone era.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Snicolette Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: February 12 2020 at 11:39
Originally posted by Davesax1965 Davesax1965 wrote:

I'd like to firstly start by congratulating Doug on how far he's got and secondly say that the rest is relatively easy. 

I seem to be the only unrepentant smoker on this thread, but please don't think that I either advocate smoking or am some kind of monster or moral degenerate for doing so: simply put, it's the lesser of many evils I've tried, and some people can't live blameless lives. Me, for one. 

Concerning addiction: it is so good to beat any kind of addiction which holds you in it's thrall. I've lost several good friends to either alcohol or heroin. None of them were bad people, they were just... unlucky. And lost.

My personal bugbear was alcohol. Put it like this, when you can drink three quarters to a bottle of scotch a day and remain sober - well, "sober", then you and your liver have an increasing problem. After three good friends drank themselves to death in their late thirties and early forties, I had an epiphany and haven't had a drink since. Fifteen years dry. I gave up overnight, basically said that's enough. I'll be dead if I do this any longer, I get absolutely no pleasure from it, time to give it up. 

And I think that's the key. If you're ready to give up, giving up is easy. There will be a price to pay. Be prepared to pay it. I used to think it took willpower, but it seemed, for me, anyway, just to take clear thinking and logical thought. Do it or die. 

Of course, some people die. 

However, I made it through it, and God above, did it feel good to be sober afterwards. I made a promise to myself never to even go in a pub again, incidentally. 

Of course, most people here will know that I had a stroke four years ago. It wasn't alcohol or tobacco related, I'd given up both at the time, just a bizarre accident with an artery in my neck. 10,000 to one thing. At that point, two things happened: I had no fear of death, I'd lost so many friends that I knew you could die at 50, easily. (Having been in the Grim Reaper's front room, I've lost all fear of death, incidentally) - and - I knew I had to get better for the sake of my family, at least. So, like with any addiction, where you know you have to do something to change your life, I got moving, I got exercising, I got active and I remained positive with an eventual goal in mind, and I got 98% of the way there. 

There were days, weeks, months when I'd rather have just sat on the sofa, but - no choice. Price to pay, get up and get moving. It's the same with giving up cigarettes or booze, if you really want to do something, if you really want to achieve.... you have to look at the bigger picture and actually keep going. 

It feels good at the end. Three years on, I was such a mess, I'd put on at least 75 pounds through not being fully mobile, I was walking with a stick for a year. Same again as with booze, I thought, right. Time to take charge of my life, I was so overweight (275 lb, six feet) that I developed Type 2 diabetes. 

I'm now 200lb, I am no longer Type 2 diabetic (the nurse is amazed) with plans to lose another 20lb. All done in a year. And I feel so much better. Hard work but worth it. 

Back to the subject. Doug, all here, excuse my rambling and occasionally dabbling with a pipe. Please keep going, you'll do it, it's worth it: anyone can do anything if they set their minds to it. Hope you get there, fella, throwing off the chains is a great thing to do. All the best. 
A really good and honest self-assessment, Dave.  People generally have a hard time critically looking at themselves, you've done a great job of it and also continued to be supportive of Doug's struggle, while understanding what you do or do not want to give up.  And why.  You may change your mind someday re the smoking that you do, but, hey, as Richard Thompson said, though, "Life is just as deadly as it looks."  For the meantime, giving up that alcohol habit you had probably has given you a much longer time on the planet than you had potential for, before.  
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Snicolette Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: February 12 2020 at 11:42
Originally posted by dougmcauliffe dougmcauliffe wrote:


I’ve been thinking I might have to drop one of my best friends due to his extreme vaping habits. In general this person does nothing to better himself and he just smokes pot every single night. I’ve tried encouraging him to quit but he says he doesn’t think he’ll ever quit and knowing him I’d agree. The thing hat really boils my blood is when has asks me to buy him drugs, I’ve made it clear that I won’t be his plug but he’s just a nicotine fiend. I’ve grown an extreme resentment towards him and honestly I think cutting him off would be the only way to get the point across that I want nothing to do with the drug. The thing is, he is still my best friend and we can talk about anything. He got me into prog and we’ve talked everyday for the last couple years but I don’t like surrounding myself with people who have no sense of fulfillment or drive in life. Even when I was a regular user I still practiced piano 2-3 hours a day and had a life, but it seems the person I am now just isn’t compatible with someone like that and it’s really bothering me.
Absolutely.  If he's a real friend, he'll be around for you when you're ready.  I do think he deserves to know why you have to cut the cord (not in a confrontational way, just that you are having trouble sticking to your guns re quitting), at least for a while, and it may make him think about what he's doing to himself.  If not, you've done your best.  For both of you.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote SteveG Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: February 12 2020 at 12:07
Snicolette + Nicorette? LOL
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Snicolette Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: February 12 2020 at 12:13
Originally posted by SteveG SteveG wrote:

Snicolette + Nicorette? LOL
  :D    First husband was "Joe," I used to call us "Josephine and Nicotine."  :D  And did use Nicorette a bit when I quit for good.  :D

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Davesax1965 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: February 14 2020 at 04:03
Hi Snicolette, thanks. ;-)

I don't think me giving up smoking will happen any time soon. ;-)

This and 15 tins of tobacco two feet away. ;-) 

On a more serious note, I enjoy smoking, don't do it to excess, and (previous experience) I know I can give up easily. For me, it's more an "enjoyable hobby" than an addiction. An addiction is, for example, drinking six beers, and a bottle and a half of vodka with your Russian mates, going to work after four hours sleep, coming home wasted and doing it all over again. 

The Russian word for an alcoholic is "Bomzh", which literally means "destroyed". ("Bust", really.) What I'd honestly say is that you can indeed do things which are unhealthy but enjoyable (Cream cake, anyone ? ) - as soon as it becomes unhealthy and not enjoyable, it's time to stop. 

With some people, the normal "stop" reflex seems to be missing. I've sat there and watched not opiates or alcohol destroying friends, but... themselves. It's not being morally degenerate or weak willed, it's just that some people are made like that. It's like watching a long, slow car crash which you can see coming miles off but are powerless to intervene in. 

So. Excuse me whilst I indulge in social leprosy and puff away, but it's doing so hoping that anyone who really wants to stop smoking makes it. Addictions, at the end of the day, are both dangerous and utterly boring and pointless. 

Doug, I think that what will help you stop putting a cigarette in your mouth ever again is one thing. It's not "willpower". It's "logic. "




Edited by Davesax1965 - February 14 2020 at 04:06

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Davesax1965 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: February 14 2020 at 04:11
PS I found those Nicorette patches really hard to light. 

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote SteveG Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: February 14 2020 at 04:14
Originally posted by Davesax1965 Davesax1965 wrote:

PS I found those Nicorette patches really hard to light. 
LOL I was not having a good start to my day Dave, and that certainly lightened my mood. Thanks, my friend. Smile
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Davesax1965 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: February 14 2020 at 04:22
Glad to spread a little happiness, Steve. ;-)

Oh yes, great reason to stop smoking.

"Money". 

I was smoking a whole new guitar a month at one stage. 

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Snicolette Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: February 14 2020 at 08:45
Originally posted by Davesax1965 Davesax1965 wrote:

Hi Snicolette, thanks. ;-)

I don't think me giving up smoking will happen any time soon. ;-)

This and 15 tins of tobacco two feet away. ;-) 

On a more serious note, I enjoy smoking, don't do it to excess, and (previous experience) I know I can give up easily. For me, it's more an "enjoyable hobby" than an addiction. An addiction is, for example, drinking six beers, and a bottle and a half of vodka with your Russian mates, going to work after four hours sleep, coming home wasted and doing it all over again. 

The Russian word for an alcoholic is "Bomzh", which literally means "destroyed". ("Bust", really.) What I'd honestly say is that you can indeed do things which are unhealthy but enjoyable (Cream cake, anyone ? ) - as soon as it becomes unhealthy and not enjoyable, it's time to stop. 

With some people, the normal "stop" reflex seems to be missing. I've sat there and watched not opiates or alcohol destroying friends, but... themselves. It's not being morally degenerate or weak willed, it's just that some people are made like that. It's like watching a long, slow car crash which you can see coming miles off but are powerless to intervene in. 

So. Excuse me whilst I indulge in social leprosy and puff away, but it's doing so hoping that anyone who really wants to stop smoking makes it. Addictions, at the end of the day, are both dangerous and utterly boring and pointless. 

Doug, I think that what will help you stop putting a cigarette in your mouth ever again is one thing. It's not "willpower". It's "logic. "


  And it is absolutely your right to indulge in whatever you wish.  It sounds like you're smoking more moderately than most can do.  And those are some beautiful pipes.  Me, I do like a glass of wine.  Or a couple.  But not more than that.  We all have things that make life more enjoyable for us, or we should, for life is meant to be enjoyed....but also, not squandered (for those that choose to do that, I do feel sorrow).
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote twseel Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: February 14 2020 at 09:17
Originally posted by SteveG SteveG wrote:


I don't have any advice on kicking this brutally additive habit. The only way that I have been able to stop smoking is by playing a mind game with myself. It's terrifying for me to say that I've quit so I just say that I've given cigarettes a break. A break that's lasted since 2013. You have to find what works for you.
I also used a similar mind game of my own; telling myself that I could have a cigarette again as soon as I didn't want it anymore. Sounds like it doesn't make much sense but I needed it as an assurance that I wouldn't have to hold off forever, and it worked!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote SteveG Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: February 14 2020 at 09:29
^ Clap Yeah buddy! Whatever works!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Davesax1965 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: February 14 2020 at 09:51
What I've found is that addiction is made worse by people thinking what they're addicted to is bigger than what it actually is. 

My good friend, Derek, loved cigarettes. Cigarettes were his life. There was nothing bigger than cigarettes. They were absolutely everything. 

One day, I missed my bus back from work and Derek, a really nice fella, said come on, Dave, I'll give you a lift back. Got to go to town, anyway. So we get in Derek's little car, he has an oxygen tank in the back and an air conditioner which makes it unbearably warm and dry, as he has COPD and 13% lung capacity. 

We drive to town, I know better than to start a conversation off with Derek as he doesn't have the breath for it. 

"Just be a minute" says Derek, as we pull into the car park of a big shopping centre. "Just going to get some cigarettes". 

"Derek, I'll get them for you", I say, knowing he can barely walk. He'll get them anyway. 

"Oh, no no. " says Derek. He gets out of the car and shuffles the hundred yards to the shop, shuffles back with 800 cigarettes. Takes 20 minutes. 

I sat there thinking, why doesn't he quit ? Everyone did, really. But he didn't. Two weeks later, Derek had a setback and had to be admitted to hospital as his breathing was getting more laboured. He was in for six weeks, during which time, work had to retire him on medical grounds. He got a good settlement. We'd all pop around to see him, cut the ivy around his windows, do the shopping for him, we'd call him every few days to make sure he was OK. He was a really nice bloke, we were all very fond of him.

E-mailed him one day and said well, you're missing nothing at work, Derek ! - back came the reply, "Cheers, Dave, getting really difficult to breathe, never had it this bad before. Sorry for a short mail, see you soon."

One day, Stuey came up to me and said Dave, Derek's not answering his phone. We tried calling a few times, having not spoken to him for a week. "Stu, you've got Derek's daughter's number, haven't you ? " I said. We rang his daughter: I already knew what the answer would be. Sadly, I was right. 

He'd died the day I received the e-mail. The funeral was the next day, we all went to management and said the five of us will not be in tomorrow. And frankly, neither should you. The look on our faces said that we attended the funeral or they could throw the book at us. 

We attended the funeral, so did management, to their credit. There wasn't a dry eye in the place. 

Afterwards, one of the bosses, Tony, came up to me and said why didn't he quit ? No one knew and it took me years to realise that Derek loved his cigarettes. They were utterly, totally everything to him. Instead of being little paper tubes full of burning dried plants, he blew them up to be his entire life. And death, sadly. 

It's only a cigarette, it's only a drink, whatever. Your life is much bigger and more important and the thing you think is so important..... actually isn't. 

I still miss Derek, he's been gone nearly ten years now. And I have God knows how many stories like this, mainly around drugs or drink. Any death like this through addiction is just a tragic waste. They're not all avoidable, and God knows I wish they were. People don't listen. 

If you take the first step to give up something which is doing you harm, you need someone who can help you go all the way to being clean. 

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