The Count Of Tuscany

Oh please.

I must say that I'm really enjoying Black Clouds & Silver Linings, but this song really brings down the whole album for me, especially since it's about a 5th of the overall length of the album! There's nothing that I really like about the song - it's too long, the tone barely fits with the rest of the album and while it's impressive technically it goes on for far too long without any parts that can really reel you in.

And the LYRICS!? The bloody lyrics have got to be the cheesiest things I've ever heard in my entire life, and I'm someone who normally enjoys a good amount of cheese. Anyone who has actually read the lyrics must know what I'm talking about.

:: Spoiler alert ::

Come on. Right off the bat we're into cheese where a dude meets a count and goes for a ride in his car and remembers rumors about the count's brother being a cannibal. Dude meets brother, gets all freaked out, thinks he's going to die, they show him where they pray and apparently he gets even more freaked out because he heard rumors of soldiers coming to this temple. Then they offer him wine and he's all like "OMGZ! The soldiers died next to barrels of wine!!" So he hides in the basement and the count comes to find him and is all like, "what's up mang?" and he's like, "OH GOD DON'T HURT ME!" and the count's just like, "Oh, those are all just rumors, you can leave if you want" - so he does.

Doesn't anyone else think that that just sounds like a bad Family Guy skit set to Dream Theater's music? I mean... COME ON! I enjoyed Dark Eternal Night more than most people, but even I think that this is just too much. If Dream Theater wanted this to be taken seriously they should have at least made the Count super evil and the main character just not know it - but having the count be this super nice (somewhat homo-erotic - I mean come on, who just randomly takes someone home with them that they meet on the streets if not to sleep with them) dude who's just 'misunderstood'.


GAAAAAH - and the worst part is that everyone that I talk to seems to think this is the best song on the album! Justify this for me!




Discussion = yes.

yeah, but the music is completely inappreciable if the lyrics are laughable! I can get past a song if the lyrics are at least okay, but then they're that bad... ew.

and like I said - the music wasn't good enough to justify it for me.


NEXT!

well, that makes it a lot easier to relate to, but it doesn't really help it's cheese factor.

Real life or not, I kind of agree with king By-Tor regarding the lyrics.  I like the song itself, but I really think they could spent a bit more time on the lyrics.  Sub-par examples include:

"Get into my car, Let's go for a drive,"  seriously, I think I used that word play on songs I wrote in high school.

"Give me one more chance, Let me please explain, it's all been circumstance, I'll tell you once again."  Please don't tell us again, you've already used four lines to try and tell us there's been a great misunderstanding, the horse is already tenderized.

I appreciate that this was based on a real life experience and frankly, I think it's actually a somewhat compelling story, I just think that the lyrical translation of the story is somewhat weak.

Part of the reason this bothers me is that Dream Theater throws so many different nuggets and hyper intelligent Easter eggs in their albums.  They're obviously very smart and past albums have shown that they have the ability to write rather complex lyrics. 

The lyrics on this song, and the lyrics on the album in general are weak and frankly this is a shame because other wise, this is a very strong album.  The lyrics is what is going to drop this down to a four star rating when I get around to it.  In my opinion, James LaBrie sounds better on this album then he has in a while, it's a shame that he's being overshadowed by the words that he has to sing.

It's still a four star album, but yes, I agree with King By-Tor on the lyrics.


Edited by Roland113 - June 28 2009 at 15:00

Roland113 wrote: In my opinion, James LaBrie sounds better on this album then he has in a while, it's a shame that he's being overshadowed by the words that he has to sing.

so true

True. Whatever happened to the vocal fireworks on songs like Take The Time or Innocence Faded?

yes - but they were good at that.

I love the song but not my favorite. the best of the album has to be A Nightmare to remember.

I haven't heard the song, but that is a hilarious thing to happen to Petrucci.

 The Count of Tuscany is one of the best songs in the album. The first thing that I liked in this song is the last part..Yeah and it's really funny if that really happened to him..