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Tarkus vs. Defenders of the Faith
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Poll Question: Who would win?
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The Whistler View Drop Down
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Posts: 6621 		  Quote The Whistler Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: Tarkus vs. Defenders of the Faith
    Posted: July 19 2009 at 03:48

The Tarkus unit should need no introduction, but Wikipedia says (just to be safe): 

"On the album cover, made after the music was created and recorded, Tarkus is depicted as a half armadillo/half tank creature, born from an egg erupted from a volcano."

Now, for those not in the know, Wikipedia also says, of Judas Priest's 1984 "classic" Defenders of the Faith: 

""Rising from darkness where Hell hath no mercy and the screams for vengeance echo on forever. Only those who keep the faith shall escape the wrath of the Metallian... Master of all metal."
-- Album back cover

The cover art by Doug Johnson (who also designed the Hellion in Screaming for Vengeance) depicts the Metallian, a ram-horned, tiger-like land assault creature with Gatling guns and tank tracks conceptualized by the band."

So, I think from here on out the question should be obvious...what would happen if Tarkus battled the Master of Metal? 

Keep in mind that Tarkus did defeat the various machines of war that man threw at him, and then Manticore dropped a big ole mindf**k on 'im, and that Aquatarkus part drops a big ole mindf**k on ME, and...crap, I don't know. The Metallian can drag you to the deepest pits of hell, where women have no mercy, and the dungeon master ALWAYS rolls a twenty.

Now, as for myself, I'm a sorta organic guy. I always root for Godzilla over Mechagodzilla. I would definitely be rooting for Tarkus to kick tank treads and take serial numbers. But, dude! The Metallian does look pretty gnarly...hmm...truly a deep matter...

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rogerthat View Drop Down
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Posts: 735 		  Quote rogerthat Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 19 2009 at 04:27
The armadillo is too cute, lol. The Defenders monster crushes it easily. But, going by Emerson's endless solos, it looks like the armadillo might keep dodging the Defenders monster until the latter gets dizzy and falls flat.  Unlikely, but possible!  LOL  Voting for Defenders.
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Pekka View Drop Down
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Posts: 2640 		  Quote Pekka Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 19 2009 at 04:48
As much as I'd like to see Tarkus whack that ugly thing, you just can't lose with that kind of a moustache. Yellow and waxed up like that, wow.
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Posts: 7470 		  Quote progkidjoel Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 19 2009 at 05:20
Is this a joke?

Tarkus by about 430,000 miles...


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Pekka View Drop Down
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Posts: 2640 		  Quote Pekka Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 19 2009 at 05:43
^This is serious business.

You did notice that it's not a "which album do you prefer?" but "which one of the cover creatures kicks the other one's ass?", right?
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Posts: 1485 		  Quote topofsm Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 20 2009 at 02:59
The Defender of The Faith would whip Tarkus to high hell.

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Posts: 659 		  Quote Marty McFly Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 20 2009 at 03:41
Tarkus wins with epic cuteness which overwhelms Defender, so he dies.
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The Whistler View Drop Down
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Posts: 6621 		  Quote The Whistler Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 20 2009 at 04:13

You know, in hindsight, there is a certain design flaw on the Metallian...it seems that its side mounted gattling guns are positioned right behind its burly man-shoulders, which would lead one to believe any attempt to fire them would result in toasted arm. Just something to think about. 

(Of course, if we're nitpicking, then Tarkus has no neck, so sneaking up should be easy.)



Edited by The Whistler - July 20 2009 at 04:13

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Posts: 1013 		  Quote npjnpj Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 20 2009 at 05:38

Battle of brains: The Tarkus rolls over to as if to have its tummy tickled and then blasts the other one from below with its turrets.
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Posts: 15515 		  Quote Snow Dog Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 20 2009 at 05:54
Defender is all bluster and show.

Tarkus is a real man!Confused...a real non real made up thing!

Tarkus wins.
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jammun View Drop Down
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Posts: 1757 		  Quote jammun Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 20 2009 at 19:11
I'm thinking Tarkus, even with an armadillo brain, will somehow find a way to beat the machine.  On the other hand, I'm told if you drive across those empty Texas highways, you can see that armadillos don't fare too well against cars.  Still, the vote's for Tarkus.

Edited by jammun - July 20 2009 at 19:12
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Posts: 2107 		  Quote A Person Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 20 2009 at 23:57
I think Tarkus would win. With a cannon like that he could blow the Metallian's smug face off while the gatling gun bullets bounce harmlessly off his armor. The only real damage he could do is with what look like the four rockets on top of him. He couldn't use his arms because he would have to come within point blank range of Tarkus, and at a distance the gatling guns would be inaccurate.

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Posts: 843 		  Quote manofmystery Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 21 2009 at 00:08
Tarkus appears to have the superior firepower
What's with the NE Patriots logos on the Judas Priest cover?  They have me rooting 10000000 times harder for Tarkus.
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The Whistler View Drop Down
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Posts: 6621 		  Quote The Whistler Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 21 2009 at 00:10
Originally posted by manofmystery

Tarkus appears to have the superior firepower

What's with the NE Patriots logos on the Judas Priest cover?  They have me rooting 10000000 times harder for Tarkus.

You know, I just noticed that myself...I don't know. I did not get that image from wikipedia or allmusic (too small), so I went to some third party site. God knows at this point. Guess they liked the Patriots.



Edited by The Whistler - July 21 2009 at 00:11

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