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Can you understand the opposite sex?
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RoyFairbank View Drop Down
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    Posted: April 04 2012 at 21:47
♀ vs. ♂

I have come to realize that the opposite sex (girls) are a complete mystery to me, not counting family members.

In my particular case I just can't understand what the motive force is for what they think and do. It seems vague and elusive. I can't construct a viable framework in my head that really gives meaning to what they put out in terms of signals, which seems to be not much.

I was sitting and talking to a girl yesterday and I don't know what she was thinking. At first I thought she was a bit down or shy, but now I completely have no reliable opinion about what happened. Maybe she hated me, or I was upsetting her? There is no evidence that I recall! It's all muddle, just an ambiguous projection of inexactitude. Maybe the emotion was shy, sad, bored, hateful, stressed, anticipatory, anxious, confused..... I don't know! I'm already writing off my losses, so to speak.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Is inability to understand the opposite sex a common problem, or have some people here reached that happy nirvana stage of inter-gender communication? Ying Yang

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Edited by RoyFairbank - April 06 2012 at 16:46
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Epignosis View Drop Down
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Posts: 30755 		Post Options Post Options   Quote Epignosis Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 04 2012 at 21:52
If you like the girl:

1. Compliment her.

2. Be kind to her in every respect.

3. Don't be a ghoul.

Follow all three steps.  If she doesn't like you, then she isn't for you.
Listen to the new Epignosis album for free- it's good for your health
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RoyFairbank View Drop Down
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Posts: 1072 		Post Options Post Options   Quote RoyFairbank Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 04 2012 at 21:52
Originally posted by Henry Plainview

Maybe you have autism.


I probably do Shocked, but in any case men are a lot easier to understand. Just like smileys.

Big smileClapBeer etc.


Edited by RoyFairbank - April 04 2012 at 22:31
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RoyFairbank View Drop Down
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Posts: 1072 		Post Options Post Options   Quote RoyFairbank Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 04 2012 at 21:55
Originally posted by Epignosis

If you like the girl:

1. Compliment her.

2. Be kind to her in every respect.

3. Don't be a ghoul.

Follow all three steps.  If she doesn't like you, then she isn't for you.


Good advice.

But I will never let my proud Ghoul traditions fall by the wayside
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Posts: 30755 		Post Options Post Options   Quote Epignosis Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 04 2012 at 21:57
Originally posted by RoyFairbank

Originally posted by Epignosis

If you like the girl:

1. Compliment her.

2. Be kind to her in every respect.

3. Don't be a ghoul.

Follow all three steps.  If she doesn't like you, then she isn't for you.


Good advice.

But I will never let my proud Ghoul traditions fall by the wayside


You should. 
Listen to the new Epignosis album for free- it's good for your health
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Posts: 51226 		Post Options Post Options   Quote Vompatti Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 04 2012 at 22:35
Sex is a social construction.
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Posts: 1072 		Post Options Post Options   Quote RoyFairbank Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 04 2012 at 22:39
Originally posted by Vompatti

Sex is a social construction.


If that were true, men and women would be identical physically. Only to a certain degree can that be true = to a certain degree it is not a social construction.
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Posts: 1072 		Post Options Post Options   Quote RoyFairbank Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 04 2012 at 22:47
Originally posted by RoyFairbank

Originally posted by RoyFairbank

Originally posted by Vompatti

Sex is a social construction.


If that were true, men and women would be identical physically. Only to a certain degree can that be true = to a certain degree it is not a social construction.

Originally posted by FairRoybank

I disagree with your implications. To a large extent it is a social construction.

Originally posted by BankFairroy

That I take as granted, but the socially constructed part of gender is equally real in the concrete situation before us as denizens of the 21st century and its society


I Agree




Edited by RoyFairbank - April 04 2012 at 22:53
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Posts: 15463 		Post Options Post Options   Quote The T Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 04 2012 at 23:08
Inter-gender communication is no mythical impossibility or anything like that. It just needs something that all lasting communications between people must have and that today's world seems to lack a little bit: empathy. 

Men who say "I can't understand women" not only are assuming that they are all the same (which probably doesn't lead to a lot of respect for them, which in the end further drives them away from these men), but probably have never really tried to act as grown up adults and actually tried to understand their women. 

Now of course there are a lot of idiotic women as there are idiotic men so those nobody will ever understand. 
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Posts: 3681 		Post Options Post Options   Quote manofmystery Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 04 2012 at 23:19
I don't understand them and never will
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Posts: 6182 		Post Options Post Options   Quote topographicbroadways Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 05 2012 at 00:48
Give her a dead leg. They love that Thumbs Up
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Posts: 1115 		Post Options Post Options   Quote Gamemako Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 05 2012 at 01:22
Originally posted by Vompatti

Sex is a social construction.


No. Sex is biological. Gender is cultural. You now know the difference between sex and gender, and you will forever be bothered when people misuse them! Wink

//EDIT: Also, you mean social construct, not social construction. Construct is used to describe complex ideas; construction is used to describe physical structures.

//EDIT 2: Also, determining sex can be much more difficult than determining gender. If you want to know a person's gender, you just ask. If you want to know their sex... well, what if they're biochemically male, but happen to have a vagina? These things are rare, but when looking at world-class female sprinters, they tend to be more masculine biochemically than their peers. Where do you draw the line? What about an XY female (Swyer syndrome)? Is that male or female?

Hah, and you thought you knew the difference between little boys and little girls! LOL


Edited by Gamemako - April 05 2012 at 01:37
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Posts: 32601 		Post Options Post Options   Quote JJLehto Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 05 2012 at 01:38
Yup, not that difficult when you don't make it so.

Problem is 100% me, I am ripe with self confidence an apathy issues so I pretty much eliminated myself from the market for a long while, trying to re insert myself now though

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Posts: 3303 		Post Options Post Options   Quote Textbook Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 05 2012 at 03:37
I have never had any problem relating to women and I find this whole thing is basically used to excuse faults in your relationship or ability to have relationships. Yes women and men are wired differently in some ways but this in no way renders them mutually unintelligible.
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Posts: 14071 		Post Options Post Options   Quote Jim Garten Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 05 2012 at 06:11
Try to communicate using the large brain, not the one which resides below the belt, treat with courtesy & friendship, don't patronise or condescend to, don't assume his/her values are the same as yours... effectively, treat the other party with the same level of respect you'd like to be shown yourself.

And always remember a man's place is in the wrong.


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Done the nice guy thing. That didn't work. I'm too soft, and over emotional to be a b*****d.

So, no I don't understand them. Never have . Never will. So, I just don't bother anymore, and just enjoy the friendships I have without complicating them any more than I need to.
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Posts: 43350 		Post Options Post Options   Quote rushfan4 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 05 2012 at 07:36

If you have a nice ass then they will melt and are putty in your hands.  If you don't then you are just out of luck. 

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Posts: 14583 		Post Options Post Options   Quote Equality 7-2521 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 05 2012 at 07:42
Originally posted by Gamemako

Originally posted by Vompatti

Sex is a social construction.


No. Sex is biological. Gender is cultural. You now know the difference between sex and gender, and you will forever be bothered when people misuse them! Wink

//EDIT: Also, you mean social construct, not social construction. Construct is used to describe complex ideas; construction is used to describe physical structures.

//EDIT 2: Also, determining sex can be much more difficult than determining gender. If you want to know a person's gender, you just ask. If you want to know their sex... well, what if they're biochemically male, but happen to have a vagina? These things are rare, but when looking at world-class female sprinters, they tend to be more masculine biochemically than their peers. Where do you draw the line? What about an XY female (Swyer syndrome)? Is that male or female?

Hah, and you thought you knew the difference between little boys and little girls! LOL


I think you lose for responding to Vompatti with science.
"One had to be a Newton to notice that the moon is falling, when everyone sees that it doesn't fall. "
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Posts: 8165 		Post Options Post Options   Quote CPicard Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 05 2012 at 07:52
Another thread which smells "victory".
Excuse me, sir, do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Neptune, god of the Sea?
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Posts: 10997 		Post Options Post Options   Quote HolyMoly Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 05 2012 at 08:14
The closest I've come is with my wife, whom I understand about 85% of the time.  
My other avatar is a Porsche
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