Can you understand the opposite sex?

Originally posted by Dean From the scenario you have presented you are trying to read several chapters ahead of what is actually happening.

Thanks to refugee and dean btw,

Yes I think I am getting too far ahead of myself. Partly that is because of the initial impression I had (whether that was justified or not), and partly because I am trying to base my actions on some final sequence of events, so I know what to do.

This very well might be the wrong thing to do, and I should treat it more organically, as you say. This makes sense to me, so I will try to do this is, and not try to analyze it so much.

Perhaps the problem with some of us men is that we try to understand too much, plan too much, and have to foresee the future. Maybe there are too many variables and shades for analytical style thinking.

I recall Stephen Hawking said recently he did not understand women. There is no better mind for analytical thinking than his.

The only advantage I definitely would attribute to that approach is that it probably makes one more proactive, because you are trying to go through with a set design of some sort. I guess if circumstances were equal you'd tend to let things slide if you just played it minute by minute. Then again, things might develop on their own, so who knows.

Yse.

Originally posted by Vompatti

Edited by RoyFairbank - April 07 2012 at 15:36

Originally posted by Vompatti ^ Which is exactly why you shouldn't analyse (separate into constituent parts or elements) women.

More like

^ I think that joke ran its course a few pages back

Don't make foolish mistakes like I did. One experience I would like to tell of .....I was about 42 years old , single, and met a female drummer who I just completely fell for. She was close to six feet tall, hair down to her waist, and the most natural beauty on her face that could make a guy melt into pieces. I just completely lost it. I met her when I was auditioning drummers. She was painfully shy, artistic, soft spoken, and talented. She was 32 years old and I tried to drift back in time to when I was that age and how I felt about someone in their 40's who might like me. She wouldn't join my band and I hired a guy who played the Marillion stuff instead. She was always in the audience at the rock clubs and it drove me crazy.

Edited by TODDLER - April 08 2012 at 08:49

Originally posted by refugee RF, I took the liberty of telling your "story" to a few experts (read: women). I called you "Ed" and the girl "Jane" because Heathcliff and Cathy sounded too stupid . Anyway, here are the reactions: 1. If he doesn’t do anything pretty soon, she will lose interest and find another. 2. One of you should make a move to take the relationship to a new level. 3. Tell him to ask her out! And don’t be afraid to repeat TODDLER’s mistake. I’m pretty sure it’s not even possible for you. Go and make your own mistakes instead!

You could run a great polling service, but I hope you don't cost as much as Gallup. 

I've long had the vague impression that girls tend to advocate more aggressive measures when talking about this stuff. Its like they want to call in the armored cavalry in every battle they are not fighting in. They are always the one to say (in public): You like her!!!!, don't you? , You two should go out! right for the jugular. Why don't they say I like You, or Us two should go out. Crazy stuff!

My plan as it stands is that I am going to be passive-aggressive (which means I am going to be pretty much passive). I really really really really really really would prefer for her to give some even passing indication she is even remotely in to me i.e. be happy and talkative around me, before I do anything more. If she does, then I will consider shifting gears, or I will prepare to shift gears. If not, I'm going to stay put and try to think about other things for a while.

Bottom line is I don't think I can sustain it at a higher level, even slightly higher. I need more reciprocity. In fact, I agree with the lose interest theory, because I don't think I can sustain it at this level. If you can imagine a guy sitting and asking questions, and a girl who responds but doesn't ask any questions or initiate anything. It really is her turn again. She must know it.

I feel less worried about any of this stuff today, its out of my control for a few days, thankfully.

Oh, and I don't mind being Heathcliff, as long as I'm Timothy Dalton.

Du, nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh na nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh.


Edited by RoyFairbank - April 08 2012 at 13:22

Well, hell, I don't even talk to girls not in my family!