Hey, stupid!

Dayvenkirq wrote: Not sure if incidents triggered due to blind rage (or annoyance, however you wanna call it) count. If you don't wanna hear that one, then I'm changing the channel. I've done a number of equally stupid things, but the most interesting and least weird of all ('cause I've done some really weird yet unfunny things that will make you think like I'm some kind of an underage psycho-f$%k) would have to be this. Alright, chaps. Some of you were drunk, some of you procrastinated, but I bet I can top anybody here because I was 17-18 years old ... and sober. Me and a metalhead decided to compete against bigger, more professional local high school bands ... as a duo. I was scrambling to write a really stupid half-assed prog-metal thing with a few sections and nonsensical lyrics. Think of the worst thing ever written in prog metal ... mine has to be worse. I put together the following items:  - an electric guitar  - a keyboard  - a tiny Yamaha amp  - a mic (without a stand)  - a whistle ('cause I guess I thought I was a mighty-fine f$%king whistler)  - a sheet of metal that resembled a musical saw (because it gave off some sound)  - I think I also brought an ocarina (which I couldn't play to save my life) I saw this tech-metal band with all the PA ready (now imagine all this s$%t I brought) and the singer growling (which is something I to this day don't understand).  My time to perform came. My metalhead buddy didn't show up. Imagine yourself alone, performing the dumbest piece in the history of mankind that wasn't finished and wasn't rehearsed. You get the picture. Define disaster ... it's when a guy from a competing band is trying to help you ... by plugging your mic (brought up close to your keyboard's tiny speakers) to his amp, and then you are playing your guitar and singing horses#$t. The mind reels. Then next day I was asked if I was influenced by some comedy bands. I should have said "yes" instead of getting upset and saying something else.

I need to hear this piece

Finnforest wrote: Polymorphia wrote: Finnforest wrote: Tony.....crunch time!  That must have sucked but at least you can say you were honing a skill for later.  Employers like people who can come in and get it done under pressure!  It's the only time I can get it done. I've wondered if stress is a superpower. I have heard there are people like that.....they literally perform best if they self impose a very short window of time for themselves.  But be careful of too much stress, it can harm your body.

It's also less effective the older I get. Not a lifestyle I'd prefer to continue.

^ Thanks for the support, Rob.

Caution, this might be graphic and embarrassing.

Ok, then.

I shaved my balls once anticipating sex for the first time with a  lady I was really into, and cut myself with the razor (first mistake; always use a guard and not a razor blade, for f**k's sake). Then--against all odds--I actually did get the chance to seal the deal, but I had developed razor burn and so for the entire time I was caught between arousal and excruciating pain. So it turns out a guy's ability to perform doesn't really work under those circumstances, and I bailed.  She was really pissed, I was really embarrassed, and it ended there.

Lesson learned. Now I'm onto new ways to royally screw up with the ladies.

I don't need to do stupid things.  Misfortune has a way of finding me on a regular basis.

Edited by Dayvenkirq - August 01 2014 at 05:30

The most stupid thing I can remember was to miss the Werner Herzog retrospective in my city.

stonebeard wrote: Caution, this might be graphic and embarrassing. Ok, then.I shaved my balls once anticipating sex for the first time with a  lady I was really into, and cut myself with the razor (first mistake; always use a guard and not a razor blade, for f**k's sake). Then--against all odds--I actually did get the chance to seal the deal, but I had developed razor burn and so for the entire time I was caught between arousal and excruciating pain. So it turns out a guy's ability to perform doesn't really work under those circumstances, and I bailed.  She was really pissed, I was really embarrassed, and it ended there. Lesson learned. Now I'm onto new ways to royally screw up with the ladies.

Perhaps you should consider Razorballs as your new user-name...???

I remember going sledding with one of my friends named Mike a couple of years ago. We arrived at this huge hill down by the lake I grew up around. The light of day had subsided, and you couldn't actually see the bottom part of the appending ride. He went first with me shortly after. The speed was intense from the get go, increasing rapidly due to my, at the time, 100+ kilos of man rocket.
-I briefly note that Mike has stopped, only to see a small ramp carved out of ice and snow right in front of me. I swoosh elegantly up in the air, sled flying away underneath me...........yeah baby, this feels like flying! -I think to myself with a huge smile on my face, and for around and about 13-14 meters no less.
Slam!!!!!!! And I land on my tail bone feeling a sensation I had never ever experienced in my life before; my arse had exploded!

Looking back at this, I see this as some kind of evil and twisted form of evolutionary poetic justice - Breaking a bone which is nothing but an obsolete remnant of an ancient ancestor of ours. Now, in this day and age, you only ever really know you own one, when you inadvertently molest it and feel it's evolution fuelled pain. Ask any monkey, I say.

I spent the next 4 weeks trying to partake in an assignment for University, doped up on some strong medicine making it almost impossible to read anything off a computer screen. 4 hours of not taking the drugs resulted in me lying on the floor like a grotesque fetus.
Those were the days. Fun times.

Edited by Guldbamsen - August 01 2014 at 06:22