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Imperial Zeppelin 
Forum Senior Member 
Joined: November 14 2013 Location: Kuwait Status: Offline Points: 6116 |
 Posted: December 12 2014 at 11:31 |
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KC's Ladies of the Road comes to mind:
Two fingered levi'd sister Said, "Peace", I stopped I kissed her. Said, "I'm a male resister", I smiled and just unzipped her. High diving chinese trender Black hair and black suspender Said, "Please me no surrender Just love to feel your Fender". |
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"Hey there, Dog Man, now I drink from your bowl."
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HolyMoly
Special Collaborator 
Retired Admin Joined: April 01 2009 Location: Atlanta Status: Offline Points: 26133 |
Posted: December 12 2014 at 12:30 |
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The entirety of Bad Company's
Johnny was a school boy when he heard his first Beatles song Love Me Do, I think it was, and from there it didn't take him long Johnny got a guitar, used to play it every night Now he's in a rock and roll outfit, and everything's all right Let's play "spot the cliche". Even the name "Johnny" seems like it was just the first name he could think of. Johnny made a record, went straight up to number one.... Etc etc and goes on to fame, fortune, drugs, and of course death. Spare me. Where's the song that tells this story? Johnny didn't have quite enough Change to buy new strings He called up his friend for a loan But his friend wasn't home Johnny went to a strip club And drank a lot of beer Now's he's got a raging headache And called in sick to work Don't you know, don't you know That you are a Normal Guy Don't you knowwww ^ I made that last bit up, for those of you who aren't hip to classic rock radio (bless you boys). |
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My other avatar is a Porsche
It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle if it is lightly greased. -Kehlog Albran |
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Finnforest
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator Joined: February 03 2007 Location: . Status: Offline Points: 16913 |
Posted: December 12 2014 at 12:52 |
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Right there with ya Steve, I've never understood the love for that band....I can't change the station fast enough when they queue up Shooting Star.
When you see my car suddenly swerve on the interstate, it isn't alcohol....it's probably a Paul Rodgers track I'm trying to change |
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LearsFool
Prog Reviewer 
Joined: November 09 2014 Location: New York Status: Offline Points: 8618 |
Posted: December 12 2014 at 14:06 |
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Anybody here remember "Love Will Find A Way"?
Here is my heart, waiting for you. Here is my soul; I eat at Chez Nous.   |
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Finnforest
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator Joined: February 03 2007 Location: . Status: Offline Points: 16913 |
Posted: December 12 2014 at 14:09 |
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^Oh yes, I clearly remember how much we laughed at that video when it came out....couldn't believe we were watching a Yes video.
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Tom Ozric
Prog Reviewer
Joined: September 03 2005 Location: Olympus Mons Status: Offline Points: 15916 |
Posted: December 13 2014 at 00:12 |
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Re: Zappa - Goblin Girl.......
The question is........ Just what she 'goblin' on ?? |
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KingCrInuYasha
Forum Senior Member
Joined: September 26 2010 Location: USA Status: Offline Points: 1281 |
Posted: December 13 2014 at 02:50 |
I can't help but wonder if Frank Zappa heard "Shooting Star", thought "I could write a better rock story song" and went to pen "Joe's Garage".
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He looks at this world and wants it all... so he strikes, like Thunderball!
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Tom Ozric
Prog Reviewer
Joined: September 03 2005 Location: Olympus Mons Status: Offline Points: 15916 |
Posted: December 13 2014 at 02:57 |
....and if you don't eat at chez nous, then you're not good enough..... |
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Toaster Mantis
Forum Senior Member
Joined: April 12 2008 Location: Denmark Status: Offline Points: 5898 |
Posted: December 13 2014 at 04:41 |
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They're far from dumb, though the occasional Engrish doesn't help, but I've noticed that Russian black metal groups often have some very strange lyrics using extremely convoluted symbolism involving wild nature and outer space as metaphor for inner spiritual struggles. Here's a couple of examples from a band called Evilwinged. Branikald have some even stranger ones.
Almost reads like Immortal lyrics as written by Martin Heidegger on some high grade blotter acid... Edited by Toaster Mantis - December 13 2014 at 04:48 |
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"The past is not some static being, it is not a previous present, nor a present that has passed away; the past has its own dynamic being which is constantly renewed and renewing." - Claire Colebrook
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Tom Ozric
Prog Reviewer
Joined: September 03 2005 Location: Olympus Mons Status: Offline Points: 15916 |
Posted: December 13 2014 at 05:34 |
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I thought some of the lyrics on Acqua Fragile's Mass Media Stars album were dumb - or maybe just the lyricist's broken English :
Around oriental bars Get high on low chairs Through long sleeves afternoons G.No & Sir G There wishing their ax and pen Weren't that heavy Calling you 'cross the square Collecting a coin to get sick Mad sipping a drop from a drip Do knock right when your dictionary fails...  And then there's this from Tasavallan Presidentti Get my kicks like an octopus donkey I'm disturbed sick in my mind Computer's ain't able To gimme the pace Chip on my shoulder Egg on my face Wild frustrations gettin' me down Fry my head in Linseed oil Serve with olives and that ain't all Slice my tongue, do me some good Fill my nails with bamboo cane Suck my thumb sell my brain. ...... Poetic, don't you think.....? Another that makes me laugh (from the same album 'Milky Way Moses') Mouldy Sausage and chips With fried bread stuck on a plate Under the egg, And in my cucumber stew And sandwiches too Gotta change Shampoos Or something....... Blame it on the drugs, I guess. |
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zravkapt
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator Joined: October 12 2010 Location: Canada Status: Offline Points: 6446 |
Posted: December 13 2014 at 06:53 |
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"I wish the milkman would deliver my milk / in the morning
I wish the milkman would deliver my milk / when I'm yawning I would like some milk from the milkman's wife's t*ts" No, wait...those are great lyrics. |
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Magma America Great Make Again
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AEProgman
Forum Senior Member
Joined: August 11 2012 Location: Toadstool Status: Offline Points: 1787 |
Posted: December 13 2014 at 15:06 |
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Anyone remember "Bloodrock" and their song, "Melvin Laid an Egg"? Heavy riff stuff with these lyrics:
Melvin Laid an Egg I
ain't got the time
to
sit and let you play with my
mind
Crushing out
mistakes
Would you look at all the time it
takes.
Sweeping through the minutes of the
day
Keeping time for lack of things to
say.
I
just want to go home
and have myself an ice cream
cone.
Be
all by my ?
if
you're gonna make my bed I'll
lie.
Dreaming of the roads we should have
took.
Melvin laid an egg...come and
look.
He's in a
sideshow.
Making lots of
dough
What can be said for Melvin and his
egg? |
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Dumb Lyrics
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HolyMoly wrote: