So, this evening, I had an idea. Why not start a new thread, Mr Laz, I asked myself? And, verily, I replied, what a damned good idea. But make it silly. Make it fun.

Thus was born the birthday thread. Every day, or when I can be arsed, I will pick out a birthday boy or girl from the forum page at random, wish them happy birthday, and comment a little bit on them. The catch? It will be people who none of us have ever heard of. Silly, fun, but hopefully diverting nonsense.

So, first, please wish Abominog a very happy birthday. Mr Andreas Boesch is 60 today. Many happy returns, sir! Andreas has been a member here since June 2005, which makes many of us seem like slackers, but all is not as straightforward as that. For Mr Abominog actually last visited the site in May 2020, but, believe it, or not, has not posted once in all that time. Diddly Squat. Nought. f**k all. So, in addition to hoping he is having a damned good day, or as far as one can in Lockdown Germany, I make a plea. Sir! Say something! Anything! Please!

On a slightly more serious note, Tuzvihar (Bartek), a rather better known collab, is 41 today. Best wishes to a fine contributor.

More tomorrow.

Roger is 63 today, bless him, and hails from the UK. What part, we do not know, but with a Roger as first name, the smart money will be on a part of England.

Roger joined our beloved site in July 2006, and lasted a whole 2 years before his final visit to these shores. In that time, he managed to post once, although on what subject he gave us the benefit of his wisdom will remain unknown, given that our forum search engine is as much use as my dog.

His signature, though, was a blinder. “Smoke me a kipper, I’ll be back for breakfast”. Very wise words, I am sure you will all agree, and, for my part, leads to a very large sense of disappointment he didn’t stick around for longer.

So to paraphrase The Pythons, Welease Woger. Come back, sir! We need poets such as you.

In other birthday news, today is the 64th birthday of one Guy Manning, a damned good musician, and contributor in these parts for a number of years. All the best, Guy.

Herman hails from Bodø in Norway, so is probably enjoying himself in the cosy warmth of his Våningshus in the midst of 24 hour darkness and snowstorms.

Actually, Herman might well be a Borg, or a revolutionary. His signature reads; “Resistance is never futile - we shall rise up”. Utterly inspirational, and words which Mr Trumpalot surely must wish that he had exalted to his troops when leaving for political exile yesterday. Perhaps he did, and CNN couldn’t be bothered to report it.

Anyhoo, Herman is 28 today, and joined us in 2011 for two months. Alas, he never went to the trouble of sharing any more of his thoughts or beliefs, because he left us with zero posts. A loss to us all.

So, Gratulerer Med Dagen to you, my dear fellow. Come back. Captain 

Picard needs you! We all need you!

In other news, we have lots of Russian and Bulgarian birthdays as well today, which just goes to show the massive global reach of PA. No collabs, though, which is surely testament to a great deal of sexual slacking on the part of our parents.

Lars blessed us with his presence for 5 months between 2007 and 2008 and provided us with 6 no doubt fabulous posts.

So, guten tag, Lars. Come back to the bosom of your prog family. You’re only 36, so it is clearly not too late for you.

Elsewhere in progland, the collab birthday desert continues. Quite clearly, April was a poor month for prog parent rumpy pumpy.

For all you ELP fans, this is quite clearly a tragic loss. His second registration bore the signature “Welcome back my friend to the show that never ends”, and Manticore was, of course, the legendary trio’s label.

However, Josh did not end there. No. His first visit bore a signature that really left me gasping in admiration at his wisdom, and also psychic foresight, for it is a poem for the times we live in now, my friends. Consider:

“Es una especie de felicidad saber hasta qué punto podemos ser desgraciados“. This is commonly translated into “It is a kind of happiness to know how unhappy we can be”. Some might call Josh a wee bit of a sad miserable git, but not me. Powerful words are at a premium, and I get the feeling if Mr Trumpalot had seen this particular polemic, he would never have built that wall. Joshuá, send this to Sleepy Joe and the gringos quick. A job at the State Department surely beckons.

Josh was a reporter in January 2006. By the time he had grown up a wee bit in August, he had become a cannibalismo. Yes, I am afraid that does mean that he has a penchant for the smokier side of human flesh. His interests, aside from a tender bit of Vaquero rump, are music, literature, “women’s”, and sex. Absolutely nothing wrong with that, of course, although our enthusiasm might be tempered a little bit not just by the human flesh eating bit, but the fact that his final interest is “eat chi chi”, or, as it is more commonly known, prison food. Is it possible that Josh intended to share his intimate fantasies with us, but on both occasions was interrupted by the prison authorities before he could get to post anything?

And therein lies today’s lesson, my friends. We can speculate, we can come to all kinds of conclusions, but you never really know the moustache behind the keyboard on t’interweb. Thinking about it, maybe it is better that Josh hasn’t lurked for over 14 years, but we all, I know, will want to shout out Feliz Cumpleaños to our dear friend. And please make mine medium rare. Ta!

Once again, I am very sad to report no better known collab birthdays today. And there was me thinking that our parents did nothing but shag the hours away in the late 50’s and 60’s. Perhaps they were all too busy smoking that sh*t Pedro is on to be capable of anything else.

So, felicitations and Hasta La Vista, Baby, to Cercadelaorilla who celebrates his 40th birthday today. Cerca joined us in 2012, and last made a visit to promote his radio station in 2019. Here is a link to his homepage, from where you can find said radio station, which I am sure will be of interest to all of you with Latin American tendencies;  https://cercadelaorilla.blogspot.com/" rel="nofollow - Cerca de la Orilla

Elsewhere, in a historic first for the Birthday Thread, we give a huge shoutout to Ben Zughban, or Fathi as he is known to Mum and Dad. Fatty hails from Libya, which, one has to admit, is not particularly well known for its love of prog amongst the general public, but for rather more sinister goings on, but it just goes to show the global reach of our site and music. Unfortunately, Fatty didn’t provide us with the benefit of any of his wisdom in the single month of 2012 he joined us in, and his homepage is no longer live.

That, though, does not stop us shouting out Eid Milad Saeed to our friend. Come back, Fatty, and, please, especially in these challenging lurgy times, don’t overdo the birthday cake or pies.

Once again, no active collab birthdays to report today. It really is getting to the stage where questions will have to be asked, public enquiries put in place, and a prog reseeding policy put in place.

Lastly, if you very kind people will allow me a little bit of self-indulgence, today would have been the 110th birthday of my beloved grandfather. John Dickson Lazenby was born 24 January 1911. He was the senior NCO in charge of the anti-aircraft batteries in Valletta, Malta, during the siege of the island by Germany, and if any of you should happen to visit the island’s War Museum, you will see his medals and photo on display, on the absolutely serious grounds that he would surely haunt them endlessly if they were locked in a drawer. He is very much missed. Happy birthday, Grandad.

Charles is, or hopefully at the very least happily retired, an editor, although a Google search did not yield any further information. This, though, may well be down to one of his listed interests, namely MP3 pirating, which I think many personages here on the site would regard in an even more ill manner than our cannibal friend the other day. At least the rump muncher doesn’t steal honest musicians royalties! I can hear the cry now....Alcatraz is too bloody good for the likes of him.

Charles has other interests as well. HDTV and motorcycling, although it is not altogether clear whether he indulges in both at the same time. Actually, it could be all three at once, I suppose. Streaming one’s nicked music to a lovely screen perched on the front of one’s Harley Davidson. Works for me.

The second post wee Chas made was, in fact, a very informative one, telling those of us in the world of prog that, I quote, “It’s illegal to wear headphones while driving in California. Check with the Highway Patrol to find out the law in your state”. This nugget of information was imparted to us in May 2010, and prompted me to call our local constabulary in the Land of the Sheep immediately to wonder whether my lovely wife (I don’t drive) could wear her buds whilst grooving to the beautific sound of Gaga whilst transporting her husband to the boozer, if they were open. Funnily enough, I was told to expect a visit from Police Constable Plod in the near future, no doubt to pay me a visit to explain the rigours of road safety!

Charles was with us from May 2010 to February 2011, and made a grand total of 2 posts in that time.

So! Let us hope that Charles can hear the premium prog site on planet Earth shouting out to him Happy Birthday, man! 

Elsewhere in progland, I am afraid that I am still unable to wish any collaborator felicitations on the day they popped out of Mummy. The contraceptive pill was obviously extraordinarily well used amongst your parents.

For today we wish, firstly, a huge happy birthday to a genuine man of the cloth. Mykethecelt attains his 64th birthday today. Myke self describes as a Celt in his site name, so I assume there is some Scottish, Welsh, or Irish ancestry in there somewhere, but Myke Karr, as he is better known to his flock, is a spiritual minister. His interests are, appropriately for a chap known to break bread with the almighty, God, music, reasons, and life. 

Even better for a prog site, his ministry includes a direct link to our beloved art form. Yes, the reverend is a genuine, pukka alumni of The Moody Bible Institute. Formed in 1886, when Justin Hayward, John Lodge, and colleagues had only just commenced their long and glorious journey to dinosaurs of prog status, this exalted body prepares its students for the arduous task of preparing the heathen masses for the coming and message of Christ. A look at the website is simply inspirational;  https://alumnius.net/moody_bible_institut-8282-25" rel="nofollow - Alumni US | Moody Bible Institute, Greater Chicago Area  

The vicar joined us on 20 June 2009, and spent just under an hour in our company without, alas, attempting to convert the inconvertible with any of his wisdom. As a god fearing chap myself, I regard this as a terrible loss to the community.

This notwithstanding, let us shout out felix sit natalis dies to our minister, although he probably wouldn’t appreciate this much if he were a radical Presbyterian and not a left footer such as yours truly. Never mind. We are all one under the Lord!

We also have another towering religious figure celebrating his birthday on the site today, and it’s only a bloody Pope! Yes, a true pontiff, in the guise of Paulo V, or Paul the Fifth as he is surely known to his English speaking followers. Paulo Vajao is 54 today, which strikes me as a rather distastefully young age to be elevated to the pontificate, and worse still when there are still two of the illuminati still alive. Paulo is 54 today, and he hails from Lisbon. His signature exclaims to us that he is always taking the point with the dawn patrol fraternity, which I think should give us all a measure of comfort given his calling, and what is even better is that Paulo still visits us. He even came on today! This, as you can imagine, is giving your author no small measure of massive excitement. He might even see and hear us all shouting out:

Parabéns a você, Paulo. Have a fantastic day, my friend!

And there is more. Yes, we have, after days of drought and famine, to the point that there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth, more collab birthdays.

Firstly, a very special shout out to our great friend, and a superb Special Collaborator on the site, Bonnek, or Karl as his parents named him 50 years ago today in Belgium. It is fair to say that Karl likes his prog ‘eavy. Yep, really ‘eavy, as he is a special part of the Prog Metal team here on PA, and I have to say an exceptional reviewer. All the best, Karl. We love you, and I am especially grateful to mum and dad for having the foresight to break our birthday drought. They did well, son!

But that is not all. Just like buses rushing along after waiting for an interminable time, we have another collab birthday. The Crow, or José to give his real name, is a Prog Reviewer on the site, and another fine one. José hails from Spain, and he is 38 today. Happy birthday to Mr Crow!

And last, but absolutely not least, Polo’s Lair, or John Poloyannis as he was imaginatively named by his parents, is 61 today. John hails from Australia, and joined us two years ago, with his last visit only a week ago. Strewth! Have a bonzer day, Bruce. Fair dinkum, and all that jazz.

Blimey! I am bloody knackered after that. Time for Mr Laz to retire with a beer and a prayer for his poor, tormented soul. At least today I know that there are people to hear me!

Erni joined us in May 2007, and stayed until November 2008, and in that time shared with us precisely zero wisdom. Nope, not one post. This strikes me as a bit of a shame, because he does have a very live blog site, which has the glorious Selling England album cover at its head, so evidence there of at least some taste and knowledge;  http://laprogresion.blogspot.com/" rel="nofollow - http://laprogresion.blogspot.com/  what’s more, the blog has a link to our exalted site. Erni is a musician and producer,  and

further research (I am NO slacker) shows that he is a bassist, and has been mentioned in Suggest New Artists thread by the mighty fine researcher, David Yam Yam;  http://www.progarchives.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=96449" rel="nofollow - Láquesis (Argentina): Symph/Heavy? - Progressive Rock Music Forum  

So, let us give a huge shout to Erni. Feliz cumpleaños to you, old chap! Come back! Play us a song!

Elsewhere, we have two collab birthdays to celebrate, and the first one simply fills me with excitement.

Baldfriede celebrates her 52nd birthday today. Friede lives with her fellow Bald Angel, Jean, and they are involved in the food business. Her signature has a fine photo of the pair of them, and they have a lovely family together. Friede is a regular and long-standing contributor to this site, which would be a poorer and sadder place without that. 

Last, but by no means least, we also celebrate the 28th birthday of bartymj, or Matt Bartlett. Matt joined the site last year, and is a regular contributor. Felicitations, sir!

Vincent is 29 today, and joined us in May 2005, and lasted a month, and provided us with the benefit of his worldview a staggering 39 times. And what a worldview it was too.

We start with his signature. It is in three parts, namely:

1. No, her name is not Beatrice
2. Yes, it’s true. Movon invented cancer
3. Josh and Peanut for President in ‘06

I have to say that I am ever so slightly lost as to why anybody in their right mind would even suggest to Vincent that Jane Doe is, in reality, named Beatrice. As for Movon, I am absolutely with the man here. Those heartless automotive testing laboratories needed closing down years ago. As for his choice in the election, well he did eventually get a nut, but, sadly, had to wait 10 whole years to realise his dream.

His posts also spoke volumes to those of us in the unwoke fraternity. He stated that he had seen Britney Spears appear in a lesbian twosome - alright for some, I should say. In addition, this particular gem; “being homosexual is so gay”. Given that Vincent was a mere 15 years old when he was sharing this unutterable wisdom, I am sure that you will all agree with me that he demonstrated intelligence and grace way beyond his tender years.

Sadly, we have not heard from our lovely walking stiff since, and I am extremely tempted to send a PM if only to see whether the passing years have dented a hole in such youthful enthusiasm. On second thoughts, I think I shall merely set the iPad to private browsing after the wife has gone to bed and undertake a surreptitious Britney search. Mmm. Britney!

Happy birthday, Vincent. Go gay! You know it makes sense!

In collab news, today is a biggy. We send our sincere felicitations to Blacksword, or Andy Robinson as his no doubt rugby loving parents named him 52 years ago. Andy is a great contributor to this site, and a thoroughly nice bloke.  Talking about bloky stuff, Andy’s interests are listed as prog, women, food, booze, and current affairs. The chap is my intertit soulmate, I tell you. So, Andy, a glass of Mr Banks’ finest is being raised to you as I speak. All the best, mate. Get pissed! We’re in a pandemic!

I first had a wee look at SickMyDuck. Alvaro is from Argentina, and is 31 today. When I first considered this candidate, my first thought was no doubt precisely the same as you lot, namely why on earth would anybody wish their fellow human beings to throw up all over his pet quacker? I mean, why? It was not until a wee bit later that I realised that old Alvaro might have been inviting us, in a classy and intellectual manner, to something altogether more squeamish. Now, don’t get me wrong, I am as keen as the next fellow on a little bit of fellatio related fun, but in public? With young personages as well as some fairly conservative types on the forum? Nope. I tell you, this job really does open your eyes to the huge diversity of our fellow man.

Talking of which, now to the actual star of today’s post. My Lords, Ladies, and Gentlemen, together with any non-gender specific fellatio lovers, please put your hands together for a genuine member of the Thai establishment. Really! No kidding at all, because Axe/Hatchet/Saw is 59 today. Now my first thought when seeing this, and the fact that Panyarak Poolthup (as his mum and dad really imaginatively named him) stated his occupation as “government”, was he must be the bloody state executioner with a forum name like that. Alternatively, like me, a glorious member of the state tax assessing and compliance community.

But no. Panyarak is only an ambassador. Yes, really. He is the ambassador of Thailand to Vietnam. Take a looksee;  http://www3.mfa.go.th/main/en/media-center/29/page-12.html" rel="nofollow - In Focus - Ministry of Foreign Affairs, Kingdom of Thailand  In keeping with this exalted position, his interests are also extremely varied and clever. Wild orchids, Japanese trains, postage stamps, horror movies, science fiction. By Gum! Thinking about it, this chap is probably so clever as to be able to do all of this in one go, taking a delivery of flowers on a bullet train, sticking his stamp on an envelope addressed to the other half at his seat, whilst watching The Exorcist and Blade Runner on his tablet. Don’t bet against it! His posts on the forum in the three months he was here between 2008 and 2009 also show a deep knowledge of prog.

So! We wish a Sukhsant Wan Keid (careful how you say the last bit) to our exalted Mr Ambassador. Come back, sir! Admin status would surely beckon!

Elsewhere, the collab birthday sperm count is once again set to zero, although given the peccadilloes of young Alvaro, this might not be such a bad thing.

skeletal_wreck is 37 today, and joined the site in June 2006, lasting precisely one minute before never being seen again. He only gave his name as Steve, but did helpfully provide us with his MySpace website;  https://myspace.com/odiumhalo" rel="nofollow - Odium Halo | Listen and Stream Free Music, Albums, New Releases, Photos, Videos   This takes us to the site for Odium Halo, and further research shows us that our friend’s name is Steve Rafferty and his band had their very own YouTube site;  https://youtu.be/SCHyI07yz8M" rel="nofollow - https://youtu.be/SCHyI07yz8M  they have not been active for a number of years now, and I think it is fair to say that what you hear here is full of youthful enthusiasm for making a glorious noise. However, I think that at least some of the participants morphed into Run to Earth, and if that is the case, I think that those of you who enjoy trippy electronic stuff might enjoy the following whilst dropping an acid, or six;  https://youtu.be/XAAquzynOPQ" rel="nofollow - https://youtu.be/XAAquzynOPQ

As of the time he joined, young Steve was a music production student, and in keeping with the general excesses of that type of person, enjoyed music, guitar, art, and most of all partying. Sort of goes hand in glove with the student bit, I suppose. Further research shows, though, that Steve didn’t entirely waste his time shagging and getting drunk, because he has ended up in a studio, namely Outland Studios in Omagh;  https://en-gb.facebook.com/outlandstudios/" rel="nofollow - Outland Studios - Home | Facebook  

So, please join me, my friends, in sending lá breithe shona duit to a long departed member. He may have moved beyond prog, but you never really leave Prog Archives, as this thread demonstrably proves.

Once again, no present collab birthdays to report to you.

Mickey is 62 today, joined us in January 2009, and in the almost three months he lurked, did not provide us with any insight into his world. When you look at the prog giants he has played with, you will, I am sure, agree with me that this was quite a loss to the site. Mickey is a record producer, but he is also a session keyboardist, and, indeed, a solo artist who should be a shoo-in for inclusion on Prog Archives. His website makes it clear why;  https://www.mickeysimmonds.com/" rel="nofollow - Mickey Simmonds – Keyboards, composer, producer.  He has just released his third solo album, with the extraordinarily Gabrielesque titled III. Having just checked, his second album, The Seven Colours of Emptiness, is available on iTunes, so I will check this out tomorrow before making a formal addition suggestion. The new album is a tribute to Keith Emerson, so should be interesting.

Indeed, Mickey has played with (wait for it)......Mike Oldfield, Renaissance, Camel, Mr Derek Dick, and many others, including two of my favourite non-prog artists Elkie Brooks and Julie Tsuke (Secret Agent is one of the best albums in my collection, and you should really check it out). In addition, he still tours with Bucks Fizz. Yep, the Eurovision bunch who had no difficulties in Making Their Minds Up and whipping their bottom kit off every chance they got. Like you, I now look forward to a performance of Toccata at the next Fizz gig.

Mickey also has a golf handicap of 8, which is some 20 lower than a certain Mr Laz, and just goes to show that if you are a really talented sod in one department, it tends to spill over into all sorts of fields. I’m only jealous.

So, happy birthday Prince Mickey! Very soon you will be immortalised as an artist on PA as well as a fleeting member. Come back, sir! We need you!

In collab news, we bid a very happy birthday to The Truth. Tanner is 25 today, and is an expert in the mathematical side of prog rock, although he hasn’t visited us in a little while. Happy birthday to you.

In addition, Scrivener is 52 today, and he has been an active member since 2005, but with only 25 posts, still a forum newbie. That’s some serious slacking, old chap! Get busy!

So, today is the 64th birthday of forum member Hans Zimmer, who joined us on 25 August 2020, and lasted just short of an hour without troubling the admins or forum members with his thoughts. Hans Zimmer, I thought. I know that bloody name from somewhere, and, indeed, initial searches suggested that we might have had a rather famous German born film composer  https://hans-zimmer.com/news" rel="nofollow - Hans-Zimmer.com  who has composed music for over 150 films. However, in keeping with my training as a dedicated, and dogged, tax inspector, I needed to be sure that this was our man. And it isn’t. The great Hans was also born in 1957, just like our man (well, on the face of it), but in a different month.

Luckily, our chap did leave his homepage when he registered, and it takes us to, even more confusingly,  https://hans-zimmer.org/" rel="nofollow - Hans Zimmer | Film Composer, Scoring and Sound Design Company  This is basically a film scoring and sound design site, but named after our original hero, and I then assumed that one of the participants might be our chap, but no. Looking at their photographs, they all look a bit too young, especially the CEO, Nick Martin, who appears to have just come out of college, although kudos for a magnificent upper lip free beard. A mighty fine beard, sir!  https://scoringandsounddesign.com/" rel="nofollow - Hans Zimmer Composer | Film Scoring Company | | Best Film Composer  

Things get even more strange when you click on the link to Top 20 composers, and one of the alumni named there is “Sir” John Barrowman. I thought to myself, I know that bloody name as well. And yes, it’s only the Yank who played the lead in Torchwood and appeared in numerous Doctor Who episodes as Captain Jack, in addition to making numerous appearances on British “entertainment” shows.  https://johnbarrowman.com/" rel="nofollow - John Barrowman Official Website  the man can clearly carry a tune, but music composer? 

Anyhoo, they are all based in Commerce, California, a small town located in LA county, and are very keen to publicise their philanthropy activities in the community, bless them.

The cynical amongst you, therefore, might be tempted to believe that this whole joining PA was to provide publicity for their venture, and the forum name, just like the website, is there purely as click bait to lead us into their trendy lair. Shame on you all! You would have thought they would have got the old boy’s birthday right,though.

Elsewhere in proggerland, we send our best wishes to a prolific senior member of the site, Mr Jörgemeister, who lives in naughty Nauticus, works for a living as IQ, and could have brought a third world country with the riches he has spent. Well, I’m with you there, Jörge. Gratulerer Med Dagen, sir! Drink lots!

Adam Beckwith, as he is hopefully better known to those who sired him, is 33 today, and joined us on New Year’s Eve 2008, but was probably a wee bit pissed, because he lasted a mere 3 days and 5 posts before deciding not to trouble us with his rather disgusting table manners again.

And why do I say that? Well, “doing the dew”, that’s why. For those of you, like me, who prefer to drink their liquids from the type of receptacle the Good Lord provided to us, namely mugs and glasses, this act is pouring a rather sickly Pepsi Co drink called Mountain Dew, or Mt. Dew to da yoof, down one’s gob without the bottle/can touching the lips. Perfectly ghastly, I’m sure you will agree, although I suppose this might be handy at present if you are breaking social distancing rules and sharing a Dew with your buddies.

In his limited posts, Adam expressed his love for the harder type of prog, especially Porcupine Tree, so if he were still with us, no doubt he would be working himself into a proper Dew froth over the sellout “pop” album of a certain Mr Wilson.

Adam put his occupation as an artist, and this is true. Research informs us that he is an artist for Psyonix, which is a video game developer, whose most famous creation is the “critically acclaimed” Rocket League;  https://www.psyonix.com/" rel="nofollow - Homepage | Psyonix  Never heard of it myself, but then again, I haven’t gone beyond the Rayman Rabbit or Lego Star Wars phase of my gaming career.

Happy birthday, Adam!

Elsewhere, no current collab special days to report. You’ll be back, though. I’ll be waiting.

Firstly, the forum name. Mightly means able, strong, and competent. As for quiche, I am afraid it is not something Mr Laz eats, being a rather foul French pastry, custard and cheese concoction. Given that I don’t eat custard, am allergic to cheese, and it doesn’t contain meat, it is a bit of a no no in this hoose.

Helen Borrill Talbot is 31 today, and when I researched the 2 posts she made in the 4 days she graced our presence in 2005, she asked us for help in learning to play the guitar. She also mentioned her famous father. For Daddy is Steve Borrill, whose claim to fame is being the bassist and founder member of the prog folk band, Spirogyra. Yep, this altogether lovely hairy lot are on the site, added by Hugues, and no doubt very fondly remembered by the crusty old beardy folk types who lurk on our beloved site;  http://www.progarchives.com/artist.asp?id=1596" rel="nofollow - SPIROGYRA discography and reviews  Daddy appeared on the 3 albums they made in the 1970’s, but was absent for the reformed effort in the noughties. Founder Martin Cockerham died in 2018, but I can’t seem to find any musical activity for Steve outside the band, so since the 1970’s. 

Sadly, it doesn’t look as if Helen made it as a guitarist, either, as no trace of her was successful. This is a shame, because her signature was, well, truly poetic. It reads; “Take these plastic people, read their lips, now let it linger; is there anything that makes them sound sincere?” This is actually a snippet from a song called One Man Army by Our Lady Peace;  https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=cufg5tZ6RLQ&feature=share" rel="nofollow - https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=cufg5tZ6RLQ&feature=share  Bloody awful racket to these ears, but it takes all sorts, I suppose.

So, notwithstanding the shocking food and music tastes, let us shout out Happy Birthday, Helen! Say hello to Daddy for us!

In collab news, we wish LearsFool a very happy 25th birthday. Kelvin is a Prog Reviewer in these parts, and hails from New York. His signature, though, has a serious disadvantage as it should only really be examined after taking copious amounts of psychedelic substances. Many happy returns, sir!

Dorsalia, or Santiago Killing as his parents named him (not literally, one hopes), is a current senior member and is 33 today. Santiago is based in Mallorca, so Feliz Cumpleaños to you, sir!

Carl is 64 today, and is a living, breathing exemplar of the American Dream, bless him. His occupation was listed as an Information Systems Architect. What the f**k is that, I hear the masses cry? Well, this column is nothing but an educational overload journey, so I will tell you. Solutions architecture is about solving problems. Enterprise architecture is a strategic planning initiative, and it would appear that Carl is absolutely on top of all this. You can read all sorts of fascinating corporate cobblers at  https://erwin.com/blog/difference-between-enterprise-architecture-and-solutions-architecture/" rel="nofollow - The Difference Between Enterprise Architecture and Solutions Architecture | erwin, Inc.  and our Carl’s very own LinkedIn page at  https://www.linkedin.com/in/carlradino" rel="nofollow - Carl Radino - VP, Enterprise Solutions Architecture - Next Generation Banking - FIS | LinkedIn  Yep, our boy is dynamic, cogent, and highly self-motivated, skills which are, I am sure you will agree, utterly essential in the dog eat dog world of Systems Architecture. Or should that be Enterprise Architecture? 

Carl lists his interests on the corporate cobblers networking site as amateur astronomy, hence the Rigel pen name, gardening & landscaping, and, most important, listening to and collecting progressive rock/progressive metal. 

So, Carl. Get celebrating today’s milestone by violently spoiling that far too bouffant hair of yours. Enjoy! Happy birthday, sir!

Elsewhere, I know that older members of the site will wish to send their best wishes to Jody, The Progtologist. Jody is 55 today, and has been prolific over the years in publishing some great articles, interviews, and reviews. He hasn’t visited PA for a few years, sadly. He was once an admin hereabouts.

Trey Likes Bands, or Trey Cardi as the good folk of Phoenix no doubt call him when he graces them with a response, is 18 today. Yep, 18. What a milestone for our friend, who actually joined PA as a callow 14 year old, and informed all who could be bothered to listen that he has been creating YouTube videos, mainly of prog bands, and some of his favourites were Pink Floyd, The Beatles, Yes, King Crimson, Gentle Giant, and Genesis. Not a bad start, I am sure you will agree for a prog forum, and one really could have had high hopes that when young Trey branched out into the realms of recording music, we could eagerly anticipate the next DSOTM, or Going For The One, and etc.

Well, Trey and his equally young collaborator, Aidan Briggs, are the artists known to their fan base as Orchid Inc., and, yes, they have recorded some songs for our enjoyment. You can have a listen at  https://orchidinc.bandcamp.com/community" rel="nofollow - Orchid Inc,'s Community | Orchid Inc,  

I have given a wee listen to Catatonia. It is fair to say that this particular track will not draw any immediate comparisons to Jon Anderson, Steve Howe, et al, but the lyrics are slightly reminiscent of a certain Mr Waters in their angst. Also that photo at the top. Pure yoof bottled up fury let go in glorious fashion, guys. Love it!

Our friends also post on Instant Adreneline Hit Gram for their legion of 241 followers, and I particular like the pure art form of sticking a false hand up one’s hooter. It might well catch on, and when our heroes are as famous as David Bailey, well you saw it here first, folks.  https://www.instagram.com/inc_orchid/" rel="nofollow - ORCHID INC. (@inc_orchid) • Instagram photos and videos

So, let us shout it out loud and proud. Happy 18th Trey! Keep your Gunn holstered, partner! Oh, by the way. Here in dear old Blighty, you could now legally get very drunk at pubs if the bloody things were open. Over there, well, sorry, another three years of hiding the booze and sh*t under the mattress.

No collab birthdays to report today, I’m afraid.

Happy weekend to all my loyal readers. I love you! The dog loves you! The cat couldn’t give a toss about you! Keep drinking and smoking to keep that nasty virus at bay!

For in July 2005, Amniosdesign joined us for a total of 4 posts, all the way from sunny Chile.

Then, in September of that same mighty fine year, Irrgarten joined us from Moscow, stayed for 10 and a bit years, making a total of 35 contributions to our fellowship.

Both of them are 42 today, and, by a matter of no doubt happy coincidence, both these titans real names are Jose Francisco Garrido. Actually, it is not a complete coincidence, because Jose loved our site so much, he decided to join us twice.

Now, to kick off this discussion, one has to say that Jose is clearly a very brave man. The temperature in downtown Santiago, where from whence he came, is a balmy 19 degrees Celsius. In Moscow, however, it is a rip-roaring, trussock-wearing MINUS 16. Blimey! I know where I would rather be, Jose!

So, how on earth did our Jose come to make the transition from South America to Comrade Putin’s mafia infested paradise?

Well, Jose is big in the world of fonts, you see. Here is our hero’s site  http://luc.devroye.org/fonts-67287.html" rel="nofollow - Juan Francisco Garrido  Here, you will see that he is the Moscow-based designer of the squarish typeface Shket   https://fontm.com/shket-font/" rel="nofollow - Shket - FontM  and the angular text typeface Graphirus  https://www.deviantart.com/graphirus" rel="nofollow - Graphirus User Profile | DeviantArt  Being a rather dull Times New Roman and Ariel type of chap myself, I must admit to never having heard of these particular fonts, although no doubt some of you funky digital types are all over it. I might also add that the inner sexist in me does somewhat appreciate the hot types featured on the deviant art site. This is an art form which appeals to old-fashioned fellows who like something rather pleasing on the eye.

In the world of prog, our good friend is still loving our music, as his Rate Your Music site proves  https://rateyourmusic.com/~Graphirus" rel="nofollow - Profile: Graphirus - Rate Your Music

So, let us shout out both Cumpleaños Feliz and zDNYOM razhDYEnya to our wonderful friend. Drinks loads of potato juice tonight sir, if only to keep warm!

Elsewhere, we have no present collab birthdays to report.

Daniel Palomo Vinuesa joined our happy gang in May 2008, and stayed with us for a couple of weeks without contributing a bean to the global knowledge of prog.

This is a little bit of a shame, and perhaps rather indicative of rather too much French wine and extended lunches, because Daniel is yet another musician to have graced our site.

For Daniel loves to parp away on a saxophone, recording with Christofer Bjurström Sextet, an extremely imaginative name for a group of six led by said Christofer, and Missing Waves. The former are a jazzy outfit, whose sole output is available on Bandcramp at  https://mzrecords.bandcamp.com/track/s" rel="nofollow - S | Bjurström Sextet | Mz Records . Missing Waves are also available on everyone’s favourite streaming service at  https://missingwaves.bandcamp.com/album/post-crash" rel="nofollow - Post-Crash | Missing Waves  and this is more jazzy stuff, with one track, Flying Cats, described as meeting Dada looking for a cure of good vibrations. Well, this particular Dada would rather keep his good vibrations intact, thank you muchly, but it takes all sorts. Daniel also shakes scissors and brushes on this recording, clearly showing massive diversity of musical talent. Not my cup of tea, although the more eclectic and jazz orientated members here might find something to enjoy on this.

Regrettably, the two website links on Daniel’s signature are lost to humanity.

So, let us shout out Joyeux Anniversaire to our sax-blowing former comrade. Get that vin down you, sir!

Elsewhere, we have a current member, namely Meddle71, to wish happy birthday to, although he has been quiet for three months. Aaron is 28 today, and hails from Canada. Happy birthday to you, sir!

Yes, streaming is one of the absolutely wonderful ways we can get to listen to our beloved music without shelling out any cash for it! Erm...just a minute. Checking with my editor (Lizzy the Dog, surely on her way to media greatness), what I meant to say was trying it before we buy it. There, that’s better.

So, first on the chopping block is a chap whose arse was surely full of warming hairs as soon as he popped out of Ma 58 years ago today. For Mitch Stevenson, from East Lothian, Scotland, joined our site on 10 August last year, and lasted for precisely 6 minutes before disappearing without a peep since. 

Mitch runs Scotland Rocks Radio, and Lazland was particularly impressed

by the look of the site he runs it from. You, too, can catch up on all sorts of musical wonders at  https://mitchradioaudio.com/" rel="nofollow - Mitch Stevenson Radio & Audio Productions – For the very best in all Rock, Metal and General Chat on the Radio!  or at least you would be able to if most of it were not protected and hidden from the world’s view. For this would appear to be a sort of college course Mitch has undertaken, but the site does promise us The Motherlode, the SRR streaming show at 9.00 GMT tonight, The Hairy Arses not having achieved independence from Blighty Time just yet, although if Ma Kranky has her way, it surely can’t be long. Give it a listen, why don’t you?

I sometimes wonder why people such as our dear friend go through all the bother of registering with the site, give us all their personal details, include a link to their page, and then bugger off without so much as even saying anything. The more cynical amongst you might think that the act of providing a website link could be some sort of surreptitious way of attracting a little bit of click bait, free advertising. Well, you might think that, but, in my opinion, no man with as fine a goaty beard as that could possibly stoop so low.

So! Happy Birthday, Mitch! Have a few wee drams, but, please, not before you broadcast tonight!

In addition, probably the leader in progressive streaming sites celebrates his birthday today as well. Yep, Sunhillow, or Markwin Meeuws as his parents stunningly baptised him, is 51 today. Markwin is the founder and administrator of Progstreaming  http://progstreaming.nl/" rel="nofollow - progstreaming  and was involved with Progwereld, which can be found at   https://www.progwereld.org/" rel="nofollow - Progwereld – nieuws, recensies en meer

He hasn’t been active here since 2007, although I remember that another account under Progstreaming was active for quite a lot longer. I used to use it a lot, especially when I was a collab on the New Additions Team, although I rarely go there now. I have found some pretty good stuff on there, as not all of it sounds like Herman from the Bavarian Forests beating his shoes against the trees in the manner of Can, and so it is still a very useful tool and I think he is still pretty active on Prog Ears.

So! Let us shout out Gelukkige Verjaardag to Markwin, or Marky as he is surely known to his besties! 

For our good friend renoprog celebrates his 68th birthday today, which surely qualifies him for veteran status in the prog world.

Reno Faoro joined our site in January 2008, and lasted almost a whole year, making 14 posts, and notably making the case, alongside half the world and his wife, for Toto to be included in the fellowship of prog artists on the site. Well, Reno, no could do, I am afraid, the basic qualification for inclusion as an artist on Prog Archives, strangely, being that they should be, well, prog.

However, this should not put us off of our hero. For Reno is a wonderful humanitarian. As his signature makes clear, he “brakes for proggers”. For those of you residing in the Iowa part of the great US of A, I would seriously recommend that you wear that Dream Theater or Yes t-shirt when you are out and about walking, because it would appear that Reno is a disgruntled postal worker, so the clear inference is that he will run over every other poor sod daft enough to cross the road in front of his post van. Be careful out there. There really is nothing as lethal as a pissed off postie.

Reno has a very wide set of interests. These include aping the man who surely must be his musical hero from the link I am about to provide you with;  https://www.angelfire.com/rock3/renoprog/" rel="nofollow - <img src=  Yep, if that isn’t Reno singing out “ Good Morning Campers!” a la Moon the Loon, well I am a donkey’s niece.

In addition to music, Reno loves watching that strange American version of rounders, football (although he doesn’t specify whether this is the beautiful soccer game, or that awful version of rugby except the protagonists need to wear medieval armour in order to run into each other), sex and eating. One sincerely hopes that Reno, at this very moment in time, is combining the latter two with his favoured paramour.

So, happy birthday, Reno. Keep on braking, sir! And remember. Never, ever, put red hot chillis on unprotected breasts!

But today, my dear friends, I present to you a genuine loony. Yep, a loony. And before any of the more politically correct start tossing rotten tomatoes at Mr Laz, he is not only self-identifying in this manner,  but is a genuine star of the greatest political party on this earth. Yes, I refer, of course, to The Monster Raving Loony Party. As a bit of background, this movement, the only political party one can place wholehearted trust in, was formed by Screaming Lord Sutch, who needs no further introduction, although he is sadly no longer with us.  To give you an example of the type of politics practised, let me tell you a true story.

At an annual conference some years ago in a boozer in Devon, the party passed two policy motions. The first, very sensibly, was to have no policies at all. The second, not withstanding the first, was to commit the party when in government to move Great Britain to a point some 25 miles south west of Portugal in order to enjoy a temperate climate all year round. It gets my vote!

Anyhoo, thundertum joined our magical brethren in July 2011, and Jerry Wigens, as his fellow loons call him, celebrates his 66th birthday today. Let us hope that someone with a somewhat large belly isn’t enjoying too much of the birthday cake, eh?

On first look, Jerry, who hails from London, and gave his occupation as a musician, with interests in “progressive/jazz/experimental” music is a bit of a serious muso. His website is at  https://www.jerrywigens.net/" rel="nofollow - Jerry Wigens, Musician, London  all very serious, and I gave a listen to one of the recordings he has put his name to, namely One Chance by The Republic, whose lead singer, Sarah Jane Morris was a singer with The Communards. The resultant noise is every bit as ghastly as you can imagine  https://youtu.be/gAg8T87BBjs" rel="nofollow - https://youtu.be/gAg8T87BBjs  I was starting to get a wee bit despondent.

But Jerry came through. Because if you look at his live gigs record on his site, you will see a band called The Faux Fibbers. Yep, those big liars are the real deal. Check them out at  https://bigfibbers.co.uk/about-us/" rel="nofollow - About us – The Big Fibbers  Our Jerry plays guitar. Check out (Should Have) Stayed At Home, which is on iTunes, and I expect most streaming services. Gloriously bonkers stuff, absolutely barking!

What’s more, they are an official live act for the Raving Loonies, as this will tell you  https://www.loonyparty.com/2816/7223/party-needs-to-learn-to-lie/" rel="nofollow - Party needs (to) Learn to Lie | The Official Monster Raving Loony Party  

So, as far as I am concerned, I can forgive our Jerry for not bothering us with any forum posts. The man is a Loony Legend, and that, in Lazland, is simply more than enough for me to get on my knees and shout out....Happy Birthday, Jerry! You don’t need me to give you advice on how to have a mad, drunken night!

Best birthday yet, my friends!

In present collab birthday news, we have a contributor who loves us so much, he registered twice, as Cambus741 and also 731. David Moth of Braintree, Essex is 52 today, and is a fan of Adam Ant. Happy birthday, sir! Stand and Deliver!

But, no. Today my choice for our collective love is to a man whose occupation hasn’t featured on the thread thus far, and really deserves to be here. For it is the 35th birthday today of Mr Chris Dreadful, whose forum name can only really reflect his dissatisfaction with his chosen occupation.

Mr Dreadful, you see, is an MCA Convenience chappy. What that, I hear you all cry? Well, MCA is Merchandising Consultants Associates. Yep, while all of you have been applauding our brave frontline health and emergency services heroes (and heroines) during the pandemic, there is a group of utterly unsung people without whom you really would not be able to function. So unsung, in fact, that they are forced to self-describe as dreadful, surely a sign of utter despair at the massive level of ignorance out there with his role in society.

For as you will see here  https://corporate.mca.ca/en/" rel="nofollow - https://corporate.mca.ca/en/  this vital bunch deliver innovative, flexible, and accurate retail services to consumer packaged (sic) goods companies and retailers. Personally, I really appreciate the accurate bit, because, quite simply, when I go down to my local retailer to panic buy my bog roll, I expect nothing but the best, right down to the number of sheets in said roll. And Mr Dreadful, my friends, is the man to give this to you. Such is their dedication that they undertake tens of thousands of flawlessly executed merchandising visits every year! Capitalism, people, would simply not survive without this lot. Next time you buy those rubber johnnies at Joe’s local store, please do remember that.

Chris joined us for two weeks in July 2005, and was a bit of a metal head, something I am pretty sure is essential in order to let one’s hair down in the wild and wacky world of retail consultancy. Chris listed his interests as music, guitar, films, jogging, girlfriend, and friends.

His signature was actually quite interesting. The quote was “I’m proud that I’ve never had a drug problem or complained that success sucks and shot myself like Kurt Cobain”, this insightful piece of philosophy spoken by one Chuck Schuldiner. Chucky was the founder of the marvellously cheerful sounding metal band Death.  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chuck_Schuldiner" rel="nofollow - Chuck Schuldiner - Wikipedia  as you will see, he fell victim to the curse of Cobain, and died of a brain tumour in 2001.

However, let us hope that our friend Chris still shakes his dandruff ridden hair at the cream of American retail. Happy birthday, Chris!

Once again, your parents have let you down as regards current collab birthdays. You really do need to have a word, you know. I blame it on all the prophylactics they insisted on Joe serving them.

Today, we have a veritable cornucopia of potential starlets to choose from, which means that 13 February will be a relatively plentiful birthday thread day for years to come.

We could have had my long lost Romanian cousin, Lazlo who could be absolutely anybody, although my preferred candidate is the bloke who used to play violin on Top Cat.

We could have had our good friend Guillemena, who is an artist, and quite a good one, too.

We could also have had our very talented friend Platy, who loved us so much he troubled the registration algorithms twice, and has a now sadly inactive review blog called ProgDaze. Maybe next year for you, Mr Platypus. 

However, I have decided that we should, instead, pay homage to JohnSomeone, whose parents baptised him Dennis Jonsson Westher 29 years ago today in what was undoubtedly a blisteringly cold Stockholm.

Dennis is an extremely multi-talented chap. Looking at his Sadbook page, he not only works in that extremely vital role of an Elevassistent (school assistant to you and I, or someone who was kicked out of teacher training and still wanted an educational career) at Katarina South School in Stockholm, where you will be glad to know that he has a House meeting for staff to look forward to this coming Tuesday (this thread is utterly dedicated, as you know by now, to the most meticulous research), but combines this with the role of an FBI Field Agent. No, really, I am not kidding. Have a looksee here   https://www.facebook.com/dennis.jonssonwesther" rel="nofollow - https://www.facebook.com/dennis.jonssonwesther  Now, some of you will be ever so slightly sceptical, as indeed was your host, that a bona fide field agent for the eyes and ears of the Land of the Free, would publicise this to the whole world and his dog on Sadbook, but I am rather convinced that this could be genuine, simply because of the bewildering array of intellectual quotes Dennis demonstrates, because FBI only headhunt the créme de la créme, folks.

As you will see from his site, not only do we have a marvellously inspirational quote from Martin Luther King, but also this absolute gem which provides us with a rather stimulating insight into our fallen member’s world, thus; “ That bitch gave me a f**king hickey last night, but it’s alright, I made sure I teashed (sic) her like a motherf**king boss!”. Well, Dennis, all I can say is promotion to work alongside Mulder and Scully surely beckons. With guys like you, how the devil did Donald lose?

But that is not all. For Dennis also plays the bass guitar. Is there no end to his talents? Sadly, as this site  https://fandalism.com/snakeplissken" rel="nofollow - Dennis Jonsson Westher - Bassist in Stockholm, Sweden  makes clear, Dennis hasn’t actually treated us to any recorded music there just yet, and we have to “sup with that” (mine’s a pint of Banks - ta!), but when he does, expect something truly eclectic with influences from Frank Sinatra all the way to Motörhead. I suggest No Sleep ‘til Stockholm as the debut opus.

Dennis did feature as the bassist for Quadria, because he played like Geezer Butler, although probably not very well, as he was soon kicked out. Check out the groovy head banging stuff at  https://www.reverbnation.com//quadria" rel="nofollow - https://www.reverbnation.com//quadria  

So, let us shout out Grattis på Füdelsedagen to Dennis! The Truth is Out There, my friend!

Elsewhere, I will give a shout out to Faithless, or Rhiannon Cownie to her father, Iain, formerly of this parish, better known to many of you as Snow Dog, and very much missed on the site. 

No present collab birthdays to report, Mummy clearly wanting to await Valentine’s Day before dropping her Chevy. Oh, talking of which, said Lovefest is also Mr & Mrs Lazland’s wedding anninversary (yes, I know, what an old romantic), so if you don’t see me tomorrow, you will know that I am being kept, ahem, busy.

We have had many persons fleetingly pass through the temple of prog we call the Archives. Many of them are musicians and artists trying to flog us their wares, and, indeed, there are more than one of them whose birthday we could have celebrated today.

A lot of them, well we don’t even know their names. One such chap was Jupiter Island, who joined our site on his 17th birthday, bless him, in 2008, and last visited us in 2015, during which time he shared his thoughts with us a mere 9 times.

What caught my eye, though, was his signature. I quote; “We owe a rooster to Asclepius. Please don’t forget to pay the debt “. In fact, this is a little bit of a misquote, because the actual quote used the word Cock, rather than rooster, given that the man in question, one Mr Socrates, had not been seriously acquainted with the b*****disation of English which is commonly spoken in Americaland.

Old Socrates was one of the philosophers commonly credited as being a cornerstone of modern Western thinking, so the next time you despair at the bloody clowns who run our lives, you know who to curse! He was, somewhat unfortunately for him, sentenced to death in Athens for “corrupting the young”, so obviously the original thinker who brought Pop Idol to unwitting ancient audiences, and “not recognising the gods the city recognises”, as which temple one frequented in those days was a wee bit more important than in modern degenerate times, you know.

Asclepius was born a mere human, and was a quack, or MD as was undoubtedly written on his graduation scroll. He had a skill which would have been pretty handy in these plague-ridden times, in that he not only cured the living, but resurrected the dead. However, rather understandably for a divine being, Mr Hades became rather worried at this development, given that it was robbing him of more customers than a typical lockdown, and arranged for Mr Zeus to throw a thunderbolt and kill the good doctor, who, unfortunately, was unable to comply with the age-old call of “physician, heal thyself!” Mr Zeus did, though, make amends and resurrect him as a God following an entreaty from that very nice God who appeared on Star Trek once.

So, why the quote? Well, in true utterly incomprehensible philosopher fashion, Socrates, upon hearing that his head was to be lopped ‘orf, believed that he had “been cured of the disease of life, and was not frightened of his impending death”, and the usual way of giving thanks to being cured of disease was to sacrifice a healthy young cock, or rooster as they undoubtedly still do in parts of deepest Tennessee, to said Doctor God.

So, there you go. If nothing else Jupiter Island has contributed to a growth in the classical knowledge of his fellow proggers. And for that reason, if no other, I know you will join me in wishing a hail and hearty Hróna Polá to our Roman interloper divine being. Enjoy, sir! Go steady with those olives and wine!

Elsewhere, no current contributors to our site enjoy a combination of a birthday and Valentine nooky session, but a very prolific contributor for a number of years, Pastor Rex Cat, is 59 today. Make sure you pray in the right temple, my friend. You can no longer claim to be ignorant of the consequences of not doing so!  

Yep, Alan is quite easily the oldest progger in town, being born before WWI even commenced. As a sprightly 99 year old, he was a medical student. Well, nothing beats life experience when trusting someone to burrow inside one’s bowels, I suppose.

Elsewhere, we celebrate the special day of a distinguished public servant. Given that Mr Laz humbly serves Her Majesty’s Government every waking hour, he always appreciates someone cut from the same cloth. 

Biman, or Thomas Bie, the forum name sadly being a reference to his name, and not a celebration of who he likes to jump on top of naked (although you never know, of course), reaches the milestone of his 50th birthday today, so only 57 years behind our Mexican veteran. Thomas joined us for one month in 2009, and unfortunately didn’t provide us with the benefit of his wisdom on the proportion of Danes who enjoy a wee bit of prog noodling over dancing naked to Lady Gaga. This is a massive loss to this site, because if anyone could tell us the answer to this burning question, it would have been Thomas, for he is the Kontorchef, or Head of Division to those of us who speak the Queen’s English (and Americanese, of course, well up to a point) of Danmarks Statistik, the Danish governments National Statistics department. No really.  https://dk.linkedin.com/in/thomas-bie" rel="nofollow - Thomas Bie - Kontorchef / Head of Division - Danmarks Statistik | LinkedIn  What’s more, his responsibilities include tax statistics, so no doubt he would have been able to fully support me when I tell you that there are lies, damned lies, and government statistics, especially when it comes to tax (note to any government police chaps  looking at this post. My full name is John Aloysius Doe, and I reside at 55 Porky Street, Honolulu. I would give you my telephone number, but I have just finished some medical treatment from Alan, and don’t expect to be fully fit for at least 3 years and 10 months, by which time I shall be retiring. Okay? Good oh!).

So, is Thomas celebrating his birthday with a glass of Tuborg Pilsner, the statistically most popular beer in his homeland, or Carl’s Porter, number 12 on the hit parade, and clearly barking juice at 7.8%? Only he can tell, but I know that you will all join me in hollering out Tillykke Med Fødselsdagen to our dear friend Thomas. Go Viking, my friend.! Keep a close count of those beers!

In collab news, Stefro, or Stefan Turner as Mummy and Daddy call him, a prog reviewer on the site who has sadly been absent from the forum for a while, is 39 today, and hopefully celebrating hard in the cauldron which is East London. Happy Birthday, Stefan! 

So, let us celebrate the special day of two of our talented wimmin members.

First up, Termedea, who celebrates her 35th birthday in Borlänge, Sweden today. Mikaela Hedberg joined our wonderful site in May 2009 and stayed for all of one minute. At the time, she was a spotty student, and liked music and computers. Well, she still likes her music, and it is of the prog variety, as her Twitty feed thingy makes clear;  https://twitter.com/mikaelahedberg" rel="nofollow - https://twitter.com/mikaelahedberg  We could have done with a little bit more of Mikaela’s multi talents hereabouts. Personal development, agile leadership (very important when you constantly change your mind about things), digitalisation, IT, and Management. She also appears on Github, which I thought was some form of personal abuse, but no, it is where folks go to develop software collaboratively (collaboration being the in thing amongst trendy corporate types). Put this girl in touch with M@X!  https://github.com/Termedea" rel="nofollow - Termedea (Mikaela Hedberg) · GitHub  Looking at her LastFM page, it is a shame she didn’t stick around, because she has decent eclectic taste  https://www.last.fm/user/termedea" rel="nofollow - Termedea’s Music Profile | Last.fm  

Anyhoo, it’s our loss, but we will all shout very loudly Grattis på Födelsedgen to our dearly departed friend!

We also have a fairer sex PA artist celebrating her 54th birthday today. ViolinCyndee was born Cyndee Lee Rule 54 years ago today in the Home of the Brave. She is a musician and musical instructor, who likes violin (which is quite handy as this is her instrument), space rock, and vegetarian cooking, something Mrs Laz is under strict instructions to avoid plonking on the Lazland dinner table owing to a deep fondness on my part for eating slaughtered beasts.

Cyndee is on PA at  http://www.progarchives.com/artist.asp?id=3959" rel="nofollow - CYNDEE LEE RULE discography and reviews  and you can see that she has played with some prog luminaries. Unfortunately, she only made the one album, reviewed by Olav. She plays with Space Mirrors, who appear on our sister site, hairy music archives  https://www.metal-archives.com/artists/Cyndee_Lee_Rule/74273" rel="nofollow - Cyndee Lee Rule - Encyclopaedia Metallum: The Metal Archives  and here  http://www.progarchives.com/artist.asp?id=5739" rel="nofollow - SPACE MIRRORS discography and reviews  playing alongside one Nic Turner, making his second appearance in the birthday thread. Cyndee hasn’t visited us since 2012, which is a shame, because she was quite prolific and knowledgeable when she was here.

Happy birthday, Cyndee!

In collab news, ZowieZiggy is 62 today. Daniel is a Prog Reviewer, but sadly hasn’t visited for a wee while. Also, Man Erg, or Lee as his parents rather less interestingly named him, is 61 today. Lee is an Honorary Collaborator,  who also hasn’t felt the need to visit his prog friends for a little while.

Happy birthday chaps! Come back to the bosom of your prog family!

There was one small problem with this, as was somewhat starkly pointed out to her by other site members, given that said Snaky personages bore no relevance to prog whatsoever. Michelle obviously took a wee bit of umbrage at this, because she has not visited since, and, hence, celebrates her 54th birthday today without the love of PA forum members.

Research shows us that her real name is Michelle Ballard, and she posted photos of her favourites on Her Space here  https://myspace.com/rattlesnakeremedy/mixes/classic-live-shots-357984/photo/89062113" rel="nofollow - Photos from Rattlesnake Remedy (rattlesnakeremedy) on Myspace

Rattlesnake Remedy were an ‘eavy metal band from that cesspit of industrial Engerland, Birmingham, home, of course, to Ozzy and The Sabs, Judas Priest, and those other metal gods, erm, Moody Blues. Michelle’s involvement may not have been altogether altruistic, given that one of the rock hunks in the band was one Dave Ballard. They have a Wikipeepee page  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rattlesnake_Remedy" rel="nofollow - Rattlesnake Remedy - Wikipedia . I personally love the name change at the end of their career in 2009, when they morphed to Caduga. The reason for this? Well, they justified it with a famous Picasso quote, thus; “Every act of creation is thus an act of destruction”. It is, of course, heartwarming to know that prog doesn’t have a complete monopoly on pretentious bollocks, yes? Also, quite what Caduga itself means, well only Dave and Michelle know. 

The band split in 2011, and do not appear on our sister site, Hairy Music Archives, although I am sure one of the collabs there would wish to rectify this anomaly. I listened today to the track which attracted a record 44 head banging fans, namely Drag You Down  https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=toQECKPQaHw&feature=share" rel="nofollow - https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=toQECKPQaHw&feature=share  Pretty standard dandruff gathering stuff, excepting for the notable feature that the lead singer quite clearly placed a tight strap around his testicles in order to effect a Geddy Lee atmosphere to the vocal department.

So, as they undoubtedly are toasting in Brum this evening, ‘appy birthdoy Michelle! Bang that head, girl!

In collab news, it is a very happy birthday to a completely decent guy, Marty Mcfly, a Special Collab around these parts who, unfortunately hasn’t visited in a wee while. He is 32 today. Happy birthday, Marty!

Firstly, we visit Gliss Bliss, which, as those of who who are into the wild and wacky world of the late and barkingly great Daevid Allen will know, is from the track Gliss Bliss For Fliss City from Gentle Genie in 1979.

Niall McQuaid is 56 today and was a member for nine years, posting Floydian and wacky stuff. His signature was inspirational. “Let’s go to church and be good looking”. This is, of course, especially important to The Lord, who, it is well known, has a severe aversion to ugly wugglies tainting his house, and most certainly a decent smiting invariably follows should they dare to cross the threshold.

Niall stated his occupation as a student when he joined us, but these days he is a wee bit of a teacher on The Emerald Isle. He can be found on Tweety Pie at  https://twitter.com/pinkfloydish" rel="nofollow - https://twitter.com/pinkfloydish 

As can be seen, Niall teaches the Bodhran, which is an Irish frame drum, beloved by all serious Celtic beardy types. So, if you are ever Bogside, and fancy a wee bit of a hit, go and visit the school. Lá breithe shona duit to you, sir! Carry on banging!

On a slightly more serious note, I would also very much hope that Fekete, or Yoel Schwarcz, is still with us to celebrate his 84th birthday, but, try as I might, I cannot say for certain that he is. Yoel was a member of Continuum, a fusion band who released a couple of albums in the early seventies. They are on the site  http://www.progarchives.com/artist.asp?id=2450" rel="nofollow - CONTINUUM discography and reviews  Further, please do take the time to read an exceptional interview that Bob (Easy Livin) conducted with him in 2006 on this site.  http://www.progarchives.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23236" rel="nofollow - Yoel Schwarcz of Continuum, May 2006 - Progressive Rock Music Forum  It really is fantastic reading, and an example of how we should conduct such work for the posterity the Archives was set up for.

Happy birthday, Yoel.

In collab news, well today is a biggy. 65 years and nine months ago, Rivertree’s parents decided to get it together and create a future Special Collaborator. Uwe is a prolific and greatly respected person hereabouts, so let’s all shout out a very happy birthday, Uwe! Enjoy!

Another SC, Evolutionary Sleeper, or Luke as he might be better known to those he stays awake with, is 34 today. Luke hasn’t been here for a wee while, but we wish him all the best! 

Blimey! A busy one today! Time for Mr Laz to relax with some beer and a pork chop.  

Nic is 54 today, and looking at his website   http://www.morfablog.com/" rel="nofollow - Morfablog – Blogio'r byd yn wyrdd    and his occupation as a Welsh Tutor at Aberystwyth University, he would most certainly have been frothing at the mouth with anger at the utterly disgraceful comments of the now sacked Iceland (the supermarket chain, not the country) PR guru who forgot the bit in the PR job description that you are supposed to win the public over when he described the Welsh language on Twits Are Us as incomprehensible and gibberish. Even worse, the company are based in, erm, North Wales. For those who have not had the pleasure of hearing our Celtic brethren in the flesh, Dickhead in English translates into Welsh as, yes you guessed it, Dickhead!  https://www.standard.co.uk/news/uk/iceland-wales-director-comments-b920192.html" rel="nofollow - https://www.standard.co.uk/news/uk/iceland-wales-director-comments-b920192.html  All of which goes to prove that there is no idiot quite as idiotic as a PR man who speaks his “mind” on social meeja.

Nic also deserves our gratitude, because he is trying his best to save us all. Yep, he is quite clearly a disciple of that nice Greta Thunberg who is trying to stop the planet frying, although I did see a photograph of her holding a sign up in blizzard-ridden Sweden the other day exclaiming “I’ve changed my mind. It’s f**king freezing here!”. Our Nic spent three days in Cardiff in 2019 with his fellow beardy vegan burger munchers as part of an Extinction Rebellion protest  https://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/extinction-rebellion-cardiff-protest-castle-16612844" rel="nofollow - At home with Extinction Rebellion: Life after the protest - Wales Online

So, let us please all shout out Penblwydd Hapus to Nic! A bonus point to all of you who can pronounce the incomprehensible words properly just like me! Whoops!

No present collab special days to report.

I could have gone for allegedly the oldest swinger in town, namely dirtybanana, aka Flashgit, who loved our site so much he also joined as Nebukadnezar (sic), which suggests a certain level of delusions of grandeur if nothing else. Danny, for it is he, is from Germany, and according to his registration, was born in 1909, making him a wondrous 112 today. The centenarian’s top track on his MySpace site was funkysh*tJam, surely something which Goering and co grooved to in 1930’s Germany.

Actually, our old Flashman is one of many candidates today who joined, stayed for all of a brief time, and contributed diddly squat to the site, which fills me with amazement as to why they bothered to register in the first place. Take san1010, or Shin Hung Ho as he was named 53 years ago today. He joined us for 39 minutes in 2008, and has never been seen again. I mean, why? Why?

Jaferrandez, or José Antonio Ferrandez as his parents named him 64 years ago in sunny Logroño, did at least hang about for almost three years, although he never provided us with the benefit of his wisdom.

José is another of those people who has dabbled in a wee bit of amateur recording, and whose frankly rather bizarre efforts can be heard on his Soundcloud site, including the altogether funky Hong Kong Rap. Phooey would be proud, no doubt.  https://soundcloud.com/jaferrandez" rel="nofollow - jaferrandez | Jose Antonio Ferrandez | Free Listening on SoundCloud  There is some rather more familiar, and acceptable to us, fare on his contributions to Discogs at  https://www.discogs.com/contributions?user=jaferrandez" rel="nofollow - jaferrandez / Contributions  

Others, as we have seen, merely register in order to flog us something, or in the case of maerom1000 join us in order to convince the prog experts that their favourite band is a serious candidate for inclusion. Bruno César is 44 today, and hails from Portugal, and when he joined listed his interest as música de desporto, or sports music to those of us who speak Inglese. Bruno was desperate for the hairy bunch known to their adoring fans as Lamb of God to be included on the site, and made 5 posts to that effect in 2009, before he buggered off not to be seen again after being told that they were not, in fact, prog but ‘eavy ‘eadbangers. For those of you who wish to explore this cheerful looking group of lads, check them out at  https://www.lamb-of-god.com/" rel="nofollow - Lamb Of God – Official Website

The discussion is at  http://www.progarchives.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=55753" rel="nofollow - Pro Prog Metal Bands - Progressive Rock Music Forum

So, Felicidades, Bruno! Keep banging that head, sir!

In collab news, today is the 44th birthday of b_olariu. Bogdan hails from Romania, and is a Prog Reviewer and prolific contributor to the site. Many happy returns, Bogdan! 

KublaKhan, for instance, is celebrating his 106th birthday in Brazil today, and by the look of his signature is looking pretty damned good for his age.

Continuing the long list of performing artists who have graced our sites, especially those of the extremely hairy and head banging variety, is Gerard celebrating his 43rd birthday in Poland today, although listening to his band Perihellium’s output this morning, I hope that the music they play at his party is a wee bit more uplifting than the doom fest that is Prototype:Day One  https://perihellium.bandcamp.com/" rel="nofollow - Perihellium  This lot are on both PA and Headbanging Archives, so check them out.  http://www.progarchives.com/artist.asp?id=6291" rel="nofollow - PERIHELLIUM discography and reviews

However, the star of today’s rumination is a rap fan. Yep, that’s right, the genre where mainly fat black blokes mumble over a sampled piece of music and are the only personages left on Planet Earth allowed to say a certain word beginning with N without being strung up by the nearest lamppost .

Jibbs joined our happy fellowship in January 2006, and stayed for less than one minute and never bothered us again. Jim, as his parents rather boringly named him 31 years ago today in Da Hood, was obviously a little bit confused about the musical boundaries between hippies such as Jon Anderson singing about love and light, and said fatties boringly threatening to shoot each other all the time.

His signature provides us with a clue, as well as his forum name. “I’m like Mother Teresa with a glock”. Now this interested me a wee bit, because Mr Laz lives a rather sheltered existence in the wilds of West Sheepland, and had never heard of a glock. So imagine my surprise when I discovered that it is, in fact, a firearm. Yep, a gun.   https://us.glock.com/" rel="nofollow - GLOCK Inc. | GLOCK Pistols | Buy Guns Online  Amusingly, in an abundance of caution for “guests” and employees, the purveyors of shooting luxury are closed for walk-in commerce in these difficult pandemic times, but always available to allow said guests to buy their wares and shoot the bollocks off of anyone they take a dislike to. The mind doth boggle. 

I then thought that his occupation, Master of the Custodial Arts, was a reference to Mr Jibbs perhaps doing a stretch of porridge in the State Penitentiary for being a wee bit too eager with his pet Glock. But no. The truth is a little bit more pedestrian, I am afraid, Custodial Arts being da yoof on da streets slang for a janitor. Really, this is not a joke.  https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=master%20of%20the%20custodial%20art" rel="nofollow - Urban Dictionary: master of the custodial art

I also found out that Jibbs is, in fact, the name of a rapper of small time success.  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jibbs" rel="nofollow - Jibbs - Wikipedia  Mr Laz, in the interests of assisting the growth of musical knowledge for all readers of this thread, listened to his second single, King Kong, which features another lovely chap going by the name of Chamillionaire. You too can listen to this bloody awful racket, which surely only appeals to those with a mental age of 2, or blokes who have to clean bogs for a living, at;  https://youtu.be/Eh1kgwF6Z-I" rel="nofollow - https://youtu.be/Eh1kgwF6Z-I

Our friend Jim was born in the same year as Mr Jibbs, but in a different month, so I am confident that our one-time associate was not said Donkey Kong, but a fan. 

So! Let us hope that Our Jim is celebrating his special day by firing off a few rounds at his favourite saintly posters! Shake that mop carefully, Jim!

Elsewhere, present senior member Twseel is 23 today, and is a prolific contributor to our beloved gathering. Actually, our friend does share quite a bit in common with the rapper, in that his job is that of a vacuum cleaner and language hearer, which should be handy in interpreting the indecipherable cobblers our rappers spout out. Happy birthday, Sir! 

Austin is 32 today, and resides in St. Louis in The Land of The Free. Now we don’t know for certain whether young Austin is, in fact, a refugee from The Amish communities, but the signs are good. I mean why else leave unless a wee bit of deviant behaviour was involved?

The Amish are a Christian community, descended from Swiss German Anabaptists of the Mennonite persuasion. Made famous by that rather good Harrison Ford movie Witness with the rather sumptuous Kelly McGillis, who unfortunately has not to my knowledge figured in any deviant art production, and believe me I have searched, our fundamentalist friends dress simply, live on the land, are pacifist, eschew modern technology (so not many PA members, I’m afraid), and breed like the proverbial rabbits. 

There is, in fact, a rather jolly growing up ritual practised by some of the brethren, namely Rumspringa. This is the time when certain youngsters “jump or hop around”, involving such bestiality as boozing, going a little bit wild, and lots of horizontal jogging with other lusty youths, before settling down and rejoining the community. If they don’t, well there is a jolly good shunning in store for them. The community, and, no doubt, The Lord, send them to the celestial equivalent of Coventry for ever. The rest of us mere mortals, of course, just get married and get tied to the mortgage and career treadmill.

Austin, then, took himself orf, and according to his LastFM profile discovered the delights of that well-known bunch of rebels and reprobates, erm Genesis  https://www.last.fm/user/amishrefugee" rel="nofollow - AmishRefugee’s Music Profile | Last.fm  Further, he discovered Deviant Art, no doubt whilst enjoying a quiet bit of rumpy pumpy on his Rumspringa, the rogue. Yep, he succumbed to temptation my friends, and went over to the dark side.

So, now the moment all of you red-blooded (mainly) men and women have been waiting for. The debut on Prog Archives of genuine Deviant Art. Steady yourselves. Come on now, boys. Behave with maturity, this is art. Culture.

Here we go.  https://www.deviantart.com/amishrefugee/gallery" rel="nofollow - AmishRefugee - Digital Artist | DeviantArt  Yes, I know. Rather disappointing, is it not? You see, Mr Laz thought that he would be viewing some decent naked and weird flesh as well, and took himself off to the study to do this piece tonight away from the somewhat jealous and not particularly understanding of such matters Mrs Laz. I needn’t have bothered, because Deviant Art is, apparently, an online gallery where “art and community thrive”. Oh well, I suppose you can never entirely take away the Amish tendencies!

Austin stayed for all of 20 minutes way back in February 2009. So, we say Happy Birthday, Sir! Next time you post on an art community, ask them to get ‘em off! Please! I’m a red-blooded male, and the book said I could not fail!

Elsewhere, no collab special days to report today, I am afraid. Time for a cold bath before supper, methinks!