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You know you're getting old when...

Printed From: Progarchives.com
Category: Topics not related to music
Forum Name: Just for Fun
Forum Description: Participate in trivia and knowledge games, share jokes, etc.
URL: http://www.progarchives.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=130719
Printed Date: May 14 2024 at 03:32
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 11.01 - http://www.webwizforums.com


Topic: You know you're getting old when...
Posted By: I prophesy disaster
Subject: You know you're getting old when...
Date Posted: April 02 2023 at 18:23
I'll start:
 
You know you're getting old when it's the middle of November and you're still not used to the new year.
 



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No, I know how to behave in the restaurant now, I don't tear at the meat with my hands. If I've become a man of the world somehow, that's not necessarily to say I'm a worldly man.



Replies:
Posted By: progaardvark
Date Posted: April 03 2023 at 04:31
You know you're getting old when you're putting dot products in the diaper machine and the sediments coming out of your vector tree are aeolian and colloidal.

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i'm shopping for a new oil-cured sinus bag
that's a happy bag of lettuce
this car smells like cartilage
nothing beats a good video about fractions


Posted By: chopper
Date Posted: April 03 2023 at 09:01
You know you're getting old when when you read a post in ProgArchives and it has words and punctuation but you have no idea what it means.


Posted By: Cosmiclawnmower
Date Posted: April 03 2023 at 14:04
You know you're getting old when you have to get up to pee at least 4 times during the night.. and none of them are particularly successful or satisfying..

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Posted By: progaardvark
Date Posted: April 03 2023 at 16:05
You know you're getting old when you're traveling in a spaceship and you're 300 million miles from Jupiter and you still hit it and then your pants fall down.

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i'm shopping for a new oil-cured sinus bag
that's a happy bag of lettuce
this car smells like cartilage
nothing beats a good video about fractions


Posted By: Archisorcerus
Date Posted: April 03 2023 at 16:43
You know you're getting old when you're not daredevilishly bold. 

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Posted By: progaardvark
Date Posted: April 04 2023 at 16:25
You know you're getting old when your pants pockets fill up with parentheses and you can fit your airport in a shampoo dispenser.

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i'm shopping for a new oil-cured sinus bag
that's a happy bag of lettuce
this car smells like cartilage
nothing beats a good video about fractions


Posted By: ProkMan78
Date Posted: April 06 2023 at 12:51
You know when you first visited this place in 2007 (but lost the email)


Posted By: chopper
Date Posted: April 07 2023 at 03:12
Originally posted by progaardvark progaardvark wrote:

You know you're getting old when your pants pockets fill up with parentheses and you can fit your airport in a shampoo dispenser.

I'll just repeat what I said earlier in this thread. 


Posted By: progaardvark
Date Posted: April 07 2023 at 06:36
You know you're getting old when all you do is post gibberish all day long and somebody actually notices. Wink

Beep Beep!


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i'm shopping for a new oil-cured sinus bag
that's a happy bag of lettuce
this car smells like cartilage
nothing beats a good video about fractions


Posted By: chopper
Date Posted: April 07 2023 at 09:00
Originally posted by progaardvark progaardvark wrote:

You know you're getting old when all you do is post gibberish all day long and somebody actually notices. Wink

Beep Beep!

LOL


Posted By: suitkees
Date Posted: April 07 2023 at 10:01
You know you're getting old when you're on PA talking about "what is prog"?


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The razamataz is a pain in the bum


Posted By: progaardvark
Date Posted: April 11 2023 at 10:27
You know you're getting old when the dime bag bumper stock crashes into your homework pump leaving you with an apex of orange creamsicle twizzlers. 

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i'm shopping for a new oil-cured sinus bag
that's a happy bag of lettuce
this car smells like cartilage
nothing beats a good video about fractions


Posted By: Jeffro
Date Posted: April 12 2023 at 19:14
You know you're getting old when you have more hair in your nose than on your head

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We all live in an amber subdomain, amber subdomain, amber subdomain.

My face IS a maserati


Posted By: Grumpyprogfan
Date Posted: April 12 2023 at 19:31
You know you're getting old when you walk-fart and you're proud of it.


Posted By: Psychedelic Paul
Date Posted: April 13 2023 at 01:46
You know you're getting old when.....

A Saga holiday sounds very appealing and a Club 18-30 holiday sounds like your worst nightmare.

A Little old lady gives up her seat to you on the bus. Yes, that really happened to me recently! Shocked

The highlight of your afternoon is settling down to watch Gardeners World with a mug of Ovaltine.

When you look forward to a dull evening in and a night out on the tiles is sitting on the patio.

All you want for your birthday is not to be reminded of your age.

It takes two attempts to get up from the sofa.

At the breakfast table you hear snap, crackle and pop and you're not eating breakfast cereal.

You sit in a rocking chair and you can't get it going.

You sing along to the golden oldies muzak in shopping centres.

All of the music legends you grew up with are now retired or dead. Ouch


Posted By: chopper
Date Posted: April 14 2023 at 06:51
Originally posted by Psychedelic Paul Psychedelic Paul wrote:

a Club 18-30 holiday sounds like your worst nightmare.

That was one of my worst nightmares when I was 18, to be honest.


Posted By: Nogbad_The_Bad
Date Posted: April 14 2023 at 06:57
Very good list Paul, actually got a couple of real chuckles.

A night on the tiles is sitting on the patio is so damn true.


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Ian

Host of the Post-Avant Jazzcore Happy Hour on Progrock.com

https://podcasts.progrock.com/post-avant-jazzcore-happy-hour/


Posted By: Jeffro
Date Posted: April 17 2023 at 19:29
You know you're getting old when ........................ what were we talking about?

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We all live in an amber subdomain, amber subdomain, amber subdomain.

My face IS a maserati


Posted By: JD
Date Posted: May 14 2023 at 14:25
You know you're getting old when every fart in public is a profile in courage.


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Thank you for supporting independently produced music


Posted By: JD
Date Posted: May 14 2023 at 14:28
You know you're getting old when you buy glasses for every level of the house so you don't have to run up and down the staircase when your significant other pulls out their phone and says "Come and look at this".


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Thank you for supporting independently produced music


Posted By: progaardvark
Date Posted: May 15 2023 at 09:16
You know you're getting old when you divide your mountain ranges with pretzel bags that are nondeterministic polynomial-time complete and you throw your Turing machines in a clothespin manifestation.

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----------
i'm shopping for a new oil-cured sinus bag
that's a happy bag of lettuce
this car smells like cartilage
nothing beats a good video about fractions


Posted By: progaardvark
Date Posted: May 17 2023 at 04:12
You know you're getting old when you put a hole in your sofa and all the fake Murano glass falls into it followed by all the postage stamps of the world and then they tell you that you can't have mashed potatoes anymore. 

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i'm shopping for a new oil-cured sinus bag
that's a happy bag of lettuce
this car smells like cartilage
nothing beats a good video about fractions


Posted By: moshkito
Date Posted: May 17 2023 at 07:01
Hi,

You know it is getting bad, when you hear your "mom" say ... "I'm going senile" and at 85, she still manages to do a corporate tax return a month or more. Or in my case, wake up in the morning and you are dizzy as heck, and all you can think of is how many women have said the same thing for another reason!

Seems normal to me ... we start with "nothing" (nekkid and all!) and end up with "nothing" ... sort of like the wheel goes around full circle!


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Music is not just for listening ... it is for LIVING ... you got to feel it to know what's it about! Not being told!
www.pedrosena.com


Posted By: progaardvark
Date Posted: May 19 2023 at 11:22
You know you're getting old when you get your toenails done by a bumblebee and the cake frosting is screaming integers into your nose.

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i'm shopping for a new oil-cured sinus bag
that's a happy bag of lettuce
this car smells like cartilage
nothing beats a good video about fractions


Posted By: progaardvark
Date Posted: August 06 2023 at 10:09
You know you're getting old when your fingernail clippings are being preserved in toploaders and your brain is on speed dial to the forest calculator department.

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i'm shopping for a new oil-cured sinus bag
that's a happy bag of lettuce
this car smells like cartilage
nothing beats a good video about fractions


Posted By: JD
Date Posted: October 06 2023 at 16:42
You know you're getting old when @progaardvark's posts make perfect sense to you.


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Thank you for supporting independently produced music


Posted By: progaardvark
Date Posted: October 09 2023 at 04:14
You know you're getting old when a second-moment matrix adapts a sufficiently small pair of pants into a cruise ship fool of doorknobs, popcorn machines, and blob operators.

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----------
i'm shopping for a new oil-cured sinus bag
that's a happy bag of lettuce
this car smells like cartilage
nothing beats a good video about fractions


Posted By: progaardvark
Date Posted: November 13 2023 at 14:56
You know you're getting old when a gastroenterologist feeds you a complete set of 1990 Donruss baseball cards for your stomach to identify the error cards.

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----------
i'm shopping for a new oil-cured sinus bag
that's a happy bag of lettuce
this car smells like cartilage
nothing beats a good video about fractions


Posted By: lysariskye
Date Posted: December 12 2023 at 13:58
Everyone starts looking like they have IBS to you whether you have it yourself or not.

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My heart has wi-fi and the password is Drew Carey.



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