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Articles on prog you found hilarious/outrageous?

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Forum Discription: General progressive music discussions
URL: http://www.progarchives.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=92888
Printed Date: August 31 2014 at 03:35
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Topic: Articles on prog you found hilarious/outrageous?
Posted By: kit-kat
Subject: Articles on prog you found hilarious/outrageous?
Date Posted: April 07 2013 at 04:31
Prog has always been a very divisive genre and while it has its great following, it also has its fair share of detractors and people who dismiss it or make fun of it, I was wondering if you have ever come across any articles/reviews/blog entires/lists etc. that were mocking the genre or a particular band and made you seriously laugh out loud or maybe just go "what the hell were they thinking?!" ... Well, post them here!


I got the idea for this thread after I stumbled upon this article yesterday and I thought it was really funny:

http://www.avclub.com/articles/decorate-thine-facade-with-resplendent-selfserious,2150/" rel="nofollow - http://www.avclub.com/articles/decorate-thine-facade-with-resplendent-selfserious,2150/



Replies:
Posted By: octopus-4
Date Posted: April 07 2013 at 05:21
 "It was the first and only painting by artist Barry Godber, who died of a heart attack at age 24, shortly after the album's release. Draw your own conclusions from that."

Very bad sentence. I find it very stupid and offending. This is my coinclusion from that.


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Curiosity killed a cat, Schroedinger only half.


Posted By: AtomicCrimsonRush
Date Posted: April 07 2013 at 05:57
I always liked the Cracked article on Prog - we have all seen it but here it is again - very clever and very true!


http://www.cracked.com/funny-2359-progressive-rock/" rel="nofollow - http://www.cracked.com/funny-2359-progressive-rock/


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Posted By: kit-kat
Date Posted: April 07 2013 at 06:16
Originally posted by octopus-4

 "It was the first and only painting by artist Barry Godber, who died of a heart attack at age 24, shortly after the album's release. Draw your own conclusions from that."

Very bad sentence. I find it very stupid and offending. This is my coinclusion from that.
That's indeed very stupid (not to mention inaccurate), but I had a good laugh at some of their descriptions, like the one about JT.

But yeah, that Cracked article is a good one, and hilariously spot on. LOL





Posted By: octopus-4
Date Posted: April 07 2013 at 06:37
This is better. It's joking about the death of a 24 years old painter that's not very polite.

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Curiosity killed a cat, Schroedinger only half.


Posted By: bucka001
Date Posted: April 07 2013 at 08:28
Originally posted by kit-kat

Prog has always been a very divisive genre and while it has its great following, it also has its fair share of detractors and people who dismiss it or make fun of it, I was wondering if you have ever come across any articles/reviews/blog entires/lists etc. that were mocking the genre or a particular band and made you seriously laugh out loud or maybe just go "what the hell were they thinking?!" ... Well, post them here!


I got the idea for this thread after I stumbled upon this article yesterday and I thought it was really funny:

http://www.avclub.com/articles/decorate-thine-facade-with-resplendent-selfserious,2150/" rel="nofollow - http://www.avclub.com/articles/decorate-thine-facade-with-resplendent-selfserious,2150/
 
"Van Der Graaf Generator may be rightly respected as one of the most unique and intriguing of the original English prog bands, but the cover of its 1970 record is dumbfounding"
 
Yet another example of hipper-than-thou journalists bigging up VdGG while deriding the genre as a whole (lots of instances like this; Crimson is another one that critics like to trot out as the exception -- it's usually the punk-approved VdGG and Crimson that it's "okay" to like with the media, who still see punk as the be all / end all). While I'm happy for VdGG that they've been spared the lambasting that prog takes from critics, it does get tiresome after a while. This particular article is so condenscending that it comes off as a case of "Methinks thou doth protest too much." I bet the guy's a prog fan, but his journalist peers in the office slam the genre and he doesn't want to be seen as unhip. Idiot.
 
That said, he does have a point about the Coheed and Cambria cover. That alone made me laugh and I had to agree with his assessment there!


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jc


Posted By: dr wu23
Date Posted: April 07 2013 at 10:36
Originally posted by AtomicCrimsonRush

I always liked the Cracked article on Prog - we have all seen it but here it is again - very clever and very true!


http://www.cracked.com/funny-2359-progressive-rock/" rel="nofollow - http://www.cracked.com/funny-2359-progressive-rock/
 
First time I saw that......a bit over done and over the top.......kind of like prog itself.
 
Wink
I'm sure the GG fans are finding 'Tubes' recent  scathing reviews of Free Hand  and Octopus a bit...outrageous.


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Et In Arcadia Ego


Posted By: zravkapt
Date Posted: April 07 2013 at 10:53
I'm sure most here know about the Uncyclopedia article as well; they even have an article about ProgArchives!

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"We don't know a millionth of one percent about anything" - Thomas Edison


Posted By: moshkito
Date Posted: April 07 2013 at 10:59
Hi,
 
I have to admit that sometimes I really hate reading articles about "progressive music" ... or anything else.
 
That idiot that wrote the article on the covers, obviously has never seen a painting in his life, and never considered that "ART" has a massive history, which some of this work, obviously understood and appreciated a lot more than he did.
 
Maybe we should wire him down to a chair with electrical pulses, and have him stare at "Guernica" until he grows up and appreciates the art form and its work. And after that we will give him more electrical charges with Miro on the wall. After that ... we gotta use Yoko Ono's dot on a white wall ... absolutely perfect for an idiot like that! She had a point after all!
 
I tend to look at those, not necessarily as a "meaningful" painting all the time ... it's hard to take the cover of "Nursery Cryme" or "Foxtrot" seriously ... and sometimes it looks like making fun of it all, anyway ... and I like the "Acquiring the Taste" editorial, which to me is perfect ... and a serious comment about the music industry and what some folks have to do ... in order to be able to enjoy their "freedom".
 
For this reason, I always preferred the "Hipgnosis" covers, as they had a knack for a serious editorial about the music and the work itself ... which kinda said it all, about what was inside on the album! I do not think that Stormm and Hipgnosis were looking to end up at the Louvre with their work, though I can say, they have enough work that would improve the Louvre's sense of humor ... which it lacks! But then the British BS'r is not any better in London, when it comes to humor!
 
But there is an "intelectual" side of journalism that we need to be more a part of, and show up folks that do not even listen to the music, and trash it ... but we're still way too dependent on the fans, in order to make this better. The day we put together the history, the meaning and the life, that created the music, is the day, that "progressive" will make its mark ... and it will be bigger than most fads, because ... it was not a fad ... and we already have documented the "copies" that made it a fad. Those writers, will all die by wayside as silly and not even well focused on anything except their licking ... as exemplified in a cover ... calling it a fruit ... hahahaha!!!!!
 
My contention still is, that we simply need to elevate it with better words, more complete studies and details ... to make it clearer and make better sense of the work itself. Of all the reviews for the KC's first album, mine is the only that has enough "quotidian" content that makes an effort at a better sense of what the music was/is about THEN ... and too many of the reviews are so detached from the very life that brought it on ... it's like saying that Robert Fripp is so detached from life ... and he is not ... and the angers hurt him to the point where he has to stop playing just in order to find some peace inside! All of that music shows that emotion and then some ... but no one is listening to the wind! Or the tears i nhis Epitath! Or the insanity around it all!


-------------
... none of the hits, none of the time ... you might actually find your own art, or self, and forego lousy heroes or Guru's!

www.pedrosena.com


Posted By: Tubes
Date Posted: April 07 2013 at 16:52
@dr wu23 They're outrageously awesome! Clap If that's what you mean...


Posted By: CPicard
Date Posted: April 08 2013 at 08:33
If it wasn't an Internet post, I would say this is the kind of article which ends in the recycling bin: it's just another written piece of "ha-ha-ha, it's soooo stupid and I'm so glad not to be dumb enough to like this stuff!"
Been there, done that, next one, please.


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Posted By: HolyMoly
Date Posted: April 08 2013 at 08:43
I think Mark Prindle's reviews of the Rush discography are pretty funny, though they definitely have the potential to annoy or offend if you're not on his sense of humor wavelength.  Look it up if you're curious.


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My other avatar is a Porsche / http://raregoat.bandcamp.com" rel="nofollow - RARE GOAT bandcamp page

NEVER forget: the ant can carry eight times its own weight.
Or is it nine?

- Kehlog Albran


Posted By: dr wu23
Date Posted: April 08 2013 at 16:53
Originally posted by Tubes

@dr wu23 They're outrageously awesome! Clap If that's what you mean...
 
Yes..of course that's what I meant....
 
Wink


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Et In Arcadia Ego


Posted By: KingCrInuYasha
Date Posted: April 08 2013 at 17:09
Progressive rock is categorized by a sacking of traditional song structure, complex rhythms, odd time signatures and a sense of inherent superiority over other rock genres.


Not that the punk genre is immune to the latter characteristic.

Also, I don't like the way they described Tarkus. They never bothered to make a decent Pokémon joke.



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He looks at this world and wants it all... so he strikes, like Thunderball!


Posted By: Dayvenkirq
Date Posted: April 08 2013 at 21:26
Originally posted by kit-kat

Prog has always been a very divisive genre and while it has its great following, it also has its fair share of detractors and people who dismiss it or make fun of it, I was wondering if you have ever come across any articles/reviews/blog entires/lists etc. that were mocking the genre or a particular band and made you seriously laugh out loud or maybe just go "what the hell were they thinking?!" ... Well, post them here!


I got the idea for this thread after I stumbled upon this article yesterday and I thought it was really funny:

http://www.avclub.com/articles/decorate-thine-facade-with-resplendent-selfserious,2150/" rel="nofollow - http://www.avclub.com/articles/decorate-thine-facade-with-resplendent-selfserious,2150/
Begs the question: how did the author of the article know that the ass of the buck-naked dude on the brain is firm?

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"People tell you life is short. ... No, it's not. Life is long. Especially if you make the wrong decisions." - Chris Rock


Posted By: Dayvenkirq
Date Posted: April 08 2013 at 21:55
Originally posted by zravkapt

I'm sure most here know about the Uncyclopedia article as well; they even have an article about ProgArchives!
Never seen that one.

“I think we need some mandolin around here.”
~ Mike Oldfield on music
“Pfff...Yeah, mandolin. How original.”
http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Ian_Anderson" rel="nofollow - Ian Anderson  on Mike Oldfield on music
“Underwater.”
~ Mike Oldfield on originality
“Oh...”
http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Ian_Anderson" rel="nofollow - Ian Anderson  on Avant-garde


Reading on further ... it's not that funny.


-------------
"People tell you life is short. ... No, it's not. Life is long. Especially if you make the wrong decisions." - Chris Rock


Posted By: ProgMetaller2112
Date Posted: April 08 2013 at 22:36
The entire article had me LOL

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“War is peace.
Freedom is slavery.
Ignorance is strength.”
― George Orwell, Nineteen Eighty-Four

"Ignorance and Prejudice and Fear walk Hand in Hand"- Neil Peart



Posted By: Tony R
Date Posted: April 09 2013 at 03:35
Originally posted by moshkito







Hi,
 
I have to admit that sometimes I really hate reading articles about "progressive music" ... or anything else.
 
That idiot that wrote the article on the covers, obviously has never seen a painting in his life, and never considered that "ART" has a massive history, which some of this work, obviously understood and appreciated a lot more than he did.
 
Maybe we should wire him down to a chair with electrical pulses, and have him stare at "Guernica" until he grows up and appreciates the art form and its work. And after that we will give him more electrical charges with Miro on the wall. After that ... we gotta use Yoko Ono's dot on a white wall ... absolutely perfect for an idiot like that! She had a point after all!
 
I tend to look at those, not necessarily as a "meaningful" painting all the time ... it's hard to take the cover of "Nursery Cryme" or "Foxtrot" seriously ... and sometimes it looks like making fun of it all, anyway ... and I like the "Acquiring the Taste" editorial, which to me is perfect ... and a serious comment about the music industry and what some folks have to do ... in order to be able to enjoy their "freedom".
 
For this reason, I always preferred the "Hipgnosis" covers, as they had a knack for a serious editorial about the music and the work itself ... which kinda said it all, about what was inside on the album! I do not think that Stormm and Hipgnosis were looking to end up at the Louvre with their work, though I can say, they have enough work that would improve the Louvre's sense of humor ... which it lacks! But then the British BS'r is not any better in London, when it comes to humor!
 
But there is an "intelectual" side of journalism that we need to be more a part of, and show up folks that do not even listen to the music, and trash it ... but we're still way too dependent on the fans, in order to make this better. The day we put together the history, the meaning and the life, that created the music, is the day, that "progressive" will make its mark ... and it will be bigger than most fads, because ... it was not a fad ... and we already have documented the "copies" that made it a fad. Those writers, will all die by wayside as silly and not even well focused on anything except their licking ... as exemplified in a cover ... calling it a fruit ... hahahaha!!!!!
 
My contention still is, that we simply need to elevate it with better words, more complete studies and details ... to make it clearer and make better sense of the work itself. Of all the reviews for the KC's first album, mine is the only that has enough "quotidian" content that makes an effort at a better sense of what the music was/is about THEN ... and too many of the reviews are so detached from the very life that brought it on ... it's like saying that Robert Fripp is so detached from life ... and he is not ... and the angers hurt him to the point where he has to stop playing just in order to find some peace inside! All of that music shows that emotion and then some ... but no one is listening to the wind! Or the tears i nhis Epitath! Or the insanity around it all!






HE has spoken.

/end of thread.


There's little quite as tragic as someone analysing humour as if it's meant to be taken seriously.




Posted By: moshkito
Date Posted: April 10 2013 at 14:10
Originally posted by Tony R

Originally posted by moshkito

.... 
Maybe we should wire him down to a chair with electrical pulses, and have him stare at "Guernica" until he grows up and appreciates the art form and its work. And after that we will give him more electrical charges with Miro on the wall. After that ... we gotta use Yoko Ono's dot on a white wall ... absolutely perfect for an idiot like that! She had a point after all!
 ...


HE has spoken.

/end of thread.

There's little quite as tragic as someone analysing humour as if it's meant to be taken seriously.

 
Sorry, I've never been a member of the Cambridge/Oxford comedian club, but I certainly have more of their work than you do! And I like it a lot! And yeah ... learned from it a lot.
 
But you got to admit ... my punishment was pretty well designed ... makes Clockwork Orange look and sound stupid when I got done!


-------------
... none of the hits, none of the time ... you might actually find your own art, or self, and forego lousy heroes or Guru's!

www.pedrosena.com


Posted By: Dean
Date Posted: April 10 2013 at 14:15


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If you cannot be wise, pretend to be someone who is wise and then just behave like they would - Neil Gaiman


Posted By: Snow Dog
Date Posted: April 10 2013 at 16:50
Originally posted by octopus-4

 "It was the first and only painting by artist Barry Godber, who died of a heart attack at age 24, shortly after the album's release. Draw your own conclusions from that."

Very bad sentence. I find it very stupid and offending. This is my coinclusion from that.

I  like a coinclusion, followed by a notefusion.


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Coldness doth get away with the badness. http://www.last.fm/user/Snow_Dog" rel="nofollow">


Posted By: Dayvenkirq
Date Posted: April 10 2013 at 17:12


-------------
"People tell you life is short. ... No, it's not. Life is long. Especially if you make the wrong decisions." - Chris Rock


Posted By: octopus-4
Date Posted: April 11 2013 at 01:32
Originally posted by Snow Dog

Originally posted by octopus-4

 "It was the first and only painting by artist Barry Godber, who died of a heart attack at age 24, shortly after the album's release. Draw your own conclusions from that."

Very bad sentence. I find it very stupid and offending. This is my coinclusion from that.

I  like a coinclusion, followed by a notefusion.
My keyiboaird types a loit of extra "i"


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Curiosity killed a cat, Schroedinger only half.


Posted By: progresssaurus
Date Posted: April 11 2013 at 01:51
Originally posted by octopus-4

My keyiboaird types a loit of extra "i"

My keyboard is worse then your, because my keyboard types long sequences of characters, grammatically wrong and without that meaning, which I want.  Confused



Posted By: the only sane man
Date Posted: April 12 2013 at 07:33
Originally posted by AtomicCrimsonRush

I always liked the Cracked article on Prog - we have all seen it but here it is again - very clever and very true!


http://www.cracked.com/funny-2359-progressive-rock/" rel="nofollow - http://www.cracked.com/funny-2359-progressive-rock/


I've just read that for the first time - pure comedic genius! LOL



Posted By: kenethlevine
Date Posted: April 13 2013 at 22:29
Until now I didn't know that the person who did KC's first cover died shortly after.  I guess I should have wondered why I never saw a similarly styled cover that might have belonged to the same artist.


Posted By: fudgenuts64
Date Posted: April 16 2013 at 09:02

http://www.theonion.com/articles/yes-lyrics-to-be-added-to-new-testament,966/

Too funny imo



Posted By: octopus-4
Date Posted: April 16 2013 at 10:03
Originally posted by fudgenuts64

http://www.theonion.com/articles/yes-lyrics-to-be-added-to-new-testament,966/

Too funny imo

LOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLClap


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Curiosity killed a cat, Schroedinger only half.


Posted By: Anthony
Date Posted: April 16 2013 at 10:59
Originally posted by AtomicCrimsonRush

I always liked the Cracked article on Prog - we have all seen it but here it is again - very clever and very true!


http://www.cracked.com/funny-2359-progressive-rock/" rel="nofollow - http://www.cracked.com/funny-2359-progressive-rock/

Why only male butts? Have they never heard of Eloy's "Colours"?


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Future prosperity lies in the way you heal the world with love
(Introitus - The hand that feeds you)


Posted By: octopus-4
Date Posted: April 16 2013 at 11:28
Originally posted by Anthony

Originally posted by AtomicCrimsonRush

I always liked the Cracked article on Prog - we have all seen it but here it is again - very clever and very true!


http://www.cracked.com/funny-2359-progressive-rock/" rel="nofollow - http://www.cracked.com/funny-2359-progressive-rock/

Why only male butts? Have they never heard of Eloy's "Colours"?
And what about Cherry Vanilla on The Pros and Cons of Hitch-Hiking?

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Curiosity killed a cat, Schroedinger only half.


Posted By: Bitterblogger
Date Posted: April 17 2013 at 15:26
After Wakeman had joined Yes for the second time, Rolling Stone was interviewing him re his return, GFTO, etc.
A fan, probably on acid, approached him while he was walking through an airport terminal and informed him he was Jesus Christ reincarnate, and that it was imperative that he consult with Rick to take advantage of this fact. Rick demurred politely, stepping into the limo and sitting next to Alan White.
"That guy told me he's Jesus Christ, Alan".
White obligingly looks out, sits back and rolls his eyes. "Is that a fact."
"Yeah. Looks nothing like his picture, does he?"


Posted By: timbo
Date Posted: April 23 2013 at 10:49
The cover of Tormato might be awful, but it's nothing to do with a tornado, it's a TOR.
Tors are granite outcrops found on Dartmoor in south west England, as shown in the cover photo (just to the left of the man), the tallest of which is called YES TOR (presumably why they used it).
 
I'd probably agree to have that album cover on the list of bad covers, but I like (and own) most of the rest. What's wrong with Nursery Cryme? It reflects the lyrics pretty well.
 


Posted By: Cactus Choir
Date Posted: April 23 2013 at 11:30
Originally posted by AtomicCrimsonRush

I always liked the Cracked article on Prog - we have all seen it but here it is again - very clever and very true!


http://www.cracked.com/funny-2359-progressive-rock/" rel="nofollow - http://www.cracked.com/funny-2359-progressive-rock/


Very funny, especially the Choose a Band Name section. I now really want to form a band called Mushroom of the Tripod.




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"And now...on the drums...Mick Underwooooooooood!!!"

"He's up the pub"


Posted By: Aussie-Byrd-Brother
Date Posted: April 23 2013 at 21:43
I remember a somewhat condescending article in Q magazine many years ago about Marillion, which had a photo of two Marillion fans on the page, with a caption `...and now we're off to see The Strokes!!'

I thought `HA! Jokes on you, f**ckers! That caption is hilarious for the entirely opposite reason you make it out to be!' lol!


Posted By: Dayvenkirq
Date Posted: April 23 2013 at 21:58
Originally posted by Cactus Choir

Originally posted by AtomicCrimsonRush

I always liked the Cracked article on Prog - we have all seen it but here it is again - very clever and very true!

http://www.cracked.com/funny-2359-progressive-rock/" rel="nofollow - http://www.cracked.com/funny-2359-progressive-rock/
Very funny, especially the Choose a Band Name section. I now really want to form a band called Mushroom of the Tripod.
I came up with "The Age of the Machine". Ermm I don't think that method works.

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"People tell you life is short. ... No, it's not. Life is long. Especially if you make the wrong decisions." - Chris Rock


Posted By: progbethyname
Date Posted: April 24 2013 at 11:56
Originally posted by Aussie-Byrd-Brother

I remember a somewhat condescending article in Q magazine many years ago about Marillion, which had a photo of two Marillion fans on the page, with a caption `...and now we're off to see The Strokes!!'

I thought `HA! Jokes on you, f**ckers! That caption is hilarious for the entirely opposite reason you make it out to be!' lol!





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Belhold the power and gift of BEARD! As Damian Wilson sports a beard now his voice somehow got even better than it already was. :)


Posted By: progbethyname
Date Posted: April 24 2013 at 12:00
Originally posted by octopus-4


Originally posted by Snow Dog


Originally posted by octopus-4

<span style="font-family: georgia, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21.6875px;"> "It was the first and only painting by artist Barry Godber, who died of a heart attack at age 24, shortly after the album's release. Draw your own conclusions from that."</span>
<span style="font-family: georgia, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21.6875px;"></span>
<span style="font-family: georgia, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21.6875px;">Very bad sentence. I find it very stupid and offending. This is my coinclusion from that.</span>

I  like a coinclusion, followed by a notefusion.

My keyiboaird types a loit of extra "i"


24???? A heart attack? Omg somebody must have exposed him to wrong kind of music. People always say 'you are what you eat' well I say you are what you listen too music wise'

So listen to good music! It'll prolong your life

-------------
Belhold the power and gift of BEARD! As Damian Wilson sports a beard now his voice somehow got even better than it already was. :)


Posted By: progbethyname
Date Posted: April 24 2013 at 12:07
Also I just want to say that the CRACKED article is freaking hilarious!! Thank you ACR AKA SCOTT for sharing that. I'm crying with laughter. God I love PA! Anyway, my favourite line was modern prog rock is characterized by a distinct lack of pants. That made laugh big time.

-------------
Belhold the power and gift of BEARD! As Damian Wilson sports a beard now his voice somehow got even better than it already was. :)


Posted By: AtomicCrimsonRush
Date Posted: May 02 2013 at 06:51
Originally posted by Dean



LOLLOLLOLLOL


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Posted By: AtomicCrimsonRush
Date Posted: May 02 2013 at 07:10
Originally posted by progbethyname

Also I just want to say that the CRACKED article is freaking hilarious!! Thank you ACR AKA SCOTT for sharing that. I'm crying with laughter. God I love PA! Anyway, my favourite line was modern prog rock is characterized by a distinct lack of pants. That made laugh big time.

it is a classic article for sure! I wish there were other humorous Prog articles available. Cheers!


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Posted By: timbo
Date Posted: May 03 2013 at 04:53
Well there's plenty of hilarious posts on Prog Archives!
Some of them might even be intentional Shocked


Posted By: Tapfret
Date Posted: May 03 2013 at 10:50
Its been almost a month since we've had a new thread started regarding snarky articles about prog. Lets get busy people!


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Posted By: progbethyname
Date Posted: May 03 2013 at 12:31
ACR's was the best. That Cracked article was all I needed. :)

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Belhold the power and gift of BEARD! As Damian Wilson sports a beard now his voice somehow got even better than it already was. :)



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