Nervous Horse Literary Magazine
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Topic: Nervous Horse Literary Magazine
Posted By: Vompatti
Subject: Nervous Horse Literary Magazine
Date Posted: June 16 2013 at 09:21
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Hello Friend, we recently finished the first issue of the progressive avant-garde magazine http://personal.inet.fi/business/nervoushorse/" rel="nofollow - Nervous Horse, which means you may now read any or all of the stories and poems and other things in it.  if you enjoy what you read and wish to contribute to the second issue, you can send your stuff to the email address on the front page. -- With kind Regards, Vom Patti, Editor and Chief Executive, Nervous Horse Inc.
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Replies:
Posted By: progkidjoel
Date Posted: June 16 2013 at 09:23
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This is a brilliant publication. ------------- 
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Posted By: colorofmoney91
Date Posted: June 16 2013 at 09:23
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u hi bro ------------- http://hanashukketsu.bandcamp.com" rel="nofollow - Hanashukketsu |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: June 16 2013 at 09:27
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Posted By: CPicard
Date Posted: June 16 2013 at 12:56
Vom Patti. 
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Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: June 16 2013 at 13:56
hi 
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Posted By: Man With Hat
Date Posted: June 16 2013 at 16:10
 ------------- Dig me...But don't...Bury me I'm running still, I shall until, one day, I hope that I'll arrive Warning: Listening to jazz excessively can cause a laxative effect. |
Posted By: JJLehto
Date Posted: June 16 2013 at 16:11
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So what's this now? Also will Ellens Oiled Vagina make an appearance? |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: June 17 2013 at 10:00
| lol i dunno k |
Posted By: JJLehto
Date Posted: June 18 2013 at 17:58
| As a true avant garde masterpiece it should be |
Posted By: HolyMoly
Date Posted: June 18 2013 at 19:45
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This is fraught with portent. ------------- My other avatar is a Porsche It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle if it is lightly greased. -Kehlog Albran |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: September 11 2013 at 10:41
http://nervoushorse.com/2013-2/index.htm" rel="nofollow - Issue #2 
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Posted By: JJLehto
Date Posted: September 11 2013 at 11:14
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Huzzah!
My piece is awful garbage, but it's an avant garde publication so I'll use that as defense
 I tried too hard to force absurdity, when I should've let it flow naturally. Next time.
 I take it there is no limit on profanity/grotesque-ness and can write boring opinion pieces like u did?
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Posted By: JJLehto
Date Posted: September 11 2013 at 11:19
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Ellen's Oiled Vagina....thank you :3
The greatest English work of English Canon IMO
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Posted By: irrelevant
Date Posted: September 11 2013 at 11:39
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^ ture I enjoyed this. ------------- https://gabebuller.bandcamp.com/" rel="nofollow - New album! http://www.progarchives.com/artist.asp?id=7385" rel="nofollow - http://www.progarchives.com/artist.asp?id=7385 |
Posted By: JJLehto
Date Posted: September 11 2013 at 11:43
Really, some of these are pretty brilliant. I wish I knew who "Jesus F Christ" is, that was superb
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irrelevant wrote:Posted By: irrelevant
Date Posted: September 11 2013 at 11:48
I'll have a look. Read your one, btw. :) ------------- https://gabebuller.bandcamp.com/" rel="nofollow - New album! http://www.progarchives.com/artist.asp?id=7385" rel="nofollow - http://www.progarchives.com/artist.asp?id=7385 |
Posted By: Man With Hat
Date Posted: September 11 2013 at 21:28
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Woo! I'm going to have to try and contribute pieces for issue #3. ------------- Dig me...But don't...Bury me I'm running still, I shall until, one day, I hope that I'll arrive Warning: Listening to jazz excessively can cause a laxative effect. |
Posted By: Luna
Date Posted: September 11 2013 at 21:53
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Nervous Young Horse ------------- https://aprilmaymarch.bandcamp.com/track/the-badger" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: September 12 2013 at 03:46
he's in the groupe k
i woudln't mind that
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Posted By: Toaster Mantis
Date Posted: September 12 2013 at 05:54
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Will get around to reading this. I've heard you and Conor mention it on Facebook a couple times.
------------- "The past is not some static being, it is not a previous present, nor a present that has passed away; the past has its own dynamic being which is constantly renewed and renewing." - Claire Colebrook |
Posted By: JJLehto
Date Posted: December 04 2013 at 23:26
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The wombat is MIA That being said, the art stops for no one so here is the third publication of Nervous Horse. Enjoy http://nervoushorse.com/2013-3/index.htm" rel="nofollow - http://nervoushorse.com/2013-3/index.htm |
Posted By: VanderGraafKommandöh
Date Posted: December 05 2013 at 08:02
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Excellent. A couple of my pieces are in this issue (as they were in the first).
-------------   
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Posted By: JJLehto
Date Posted: December 05 2013 at 12:03
| I can't imagine Vomps would decline anything, not very avant garde |
Posted By: smartpatrol
Date Posted: December 05 2013 at 12:38
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Yeah, if he did, I certainly wouldn't be in this issue! I'm hoping to have made something a bit more substantial for the next issue
------------- http://bit.ly/1kqTR8y" rel="nofollow">  The greatest record label of all time! |
Posted By: Man With Hat
Date Posted: December 05 2013 at 20:44
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------------- Dig me...But don't...Bury me I'm running still, I shall until, one day, I hope that I'll arrive Warning: Listening to jazz excessively can cause a laxative effect. |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: February 28 2014 at 16:45
| the 4th issue is looking for submissions k |
Posted By: JJLehto
Date Posted: March 05 2014 at 12:02
Excellent
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Posted By: Triceratopsoil
Date Posted: April 24 2014 at 20:17
| There seems to be a new issue up. |
Posted By: Man With Hat
Date Posted: April 24 2014 at 21:11
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Let the erections flow. ------------- Dig me...But don't...Bury me I'm running still, I shall until, one day, I hope that I'll arrive Warning: Listening to jazz excessively can cause a laxative effect. |
Posted By: Dean
Date Posted: April 25 2014 at 01:35
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Looks very minty in its pepperminty livery that leaves your eyes spearminty fresh. ------------- What? |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: June 04 2014 at 16:03
| Would you blieveve me if I told you there's plenty of room for submissions in the next issue, .qm. |
Posted By: Dean
Date Posted: June 04 2014 at 16:27
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I want to blieveve ... ------------- What? |
Posted By: Man With Hat
Date Posted: June 04 2014 at 17:09
I believe it because you told it to me. ------------- Dig me...But don't...Bury me I'm running still, I shall until, one day, I hope that I'll arrive Warning: Listening to jazz excessively can cause a laxative effect. |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: June 04 2014 at 17:25
I might be lying or insane or both. |
Posted By: Man With Hat
Date Posted: June 04 2014 at 17:43
But I still believe it. ------------- Dig me...But don't...Bury me I'm running still, I shall until, one day, I hope that I'll arrive Warning: Listening to jazz excessively can cause a laxative effect. |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: September 05 2014 at 14:10
| bump http://nervoushorse.com/2014-2/" rel="nofollow - http://nervoushorse.com/2014-2/ http://nervoushorse.com/2014-2/%20" rel="nofollow - |
Posted By: Man With Hat
Date Posted: September 05 2014 at 15:46
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I'm joyed in ways I can understand. ------------- Dig me...But don't...Bury me I'm running still, I shall until, one day, I hope that I'll arrive Warning: Listening to jazz excessively can cause a laxative effect. |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: November 19 2014 at 08:38
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new issue k http://nervoushorse.com/2014-3/index.htm" rel="nofollow - http://nervoushorse.com/2014-3/index.htm |
Posted By: JJLehto
Date Posted: November 19 2014 at 10:00
| YES |
Posted By: Man With Hat
Date Posted: November 19 2014 at 16:40
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A travesty! Or a boon to humanity. ------------- Dig me...But don't...Bury me I'm running still, I shall until, one day, I hope that I'll arrive Warning: Listening to jazz excessively can cause a laxative effect. |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: January 16 2015 at 07:25
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for those not yet in the super secret group: for the the next issue i'm making a page with links to various art/music/other projects/things, so if you have a page you would like free advertisement for you may post the link in this thread or via pm and it'll most likely be included. the non-music sections are still practically empty. also tell your friends we need more writers. |
Posted By: twseel
Date Posted: February 06 2015 at 09:17
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Good Sir Vom Patti, What will such an advertisement looketh like, Good Good Sir Thanks in advance for your amazing response ------------- 
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Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: February 06 2015 at 11:09
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like a regular text link k |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: April 23 2015 at 23:58
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http://nervoushorse.com/2015-1/index.htm" rel="nofollow - New issue. http://nervoushorse.spreadshirt.com/" rel="nofollow - Shirts. |
Posted By: Man With Hat
Date Posted: April 24 2015 at 01:06
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Oh my yes. I can finally take a bath again. ------------- Dig me...But don't...Bury me I'm running still, I shall until, one day, I hope that I'll arrive Warning: Listening to jazz excessively can cause a laxative effect. |
Posted By: Dean
Date Posted: April 24 2015 at 04:59
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I tried to buy a T-Shirt using PayPal but it said: "The chosen payment method is no longer available. Please choose another payment method." Sorry, I don't have a credit card and won't use debit cards over the internet so I had to cancel the order.  ------------- What? |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: April 24 2015 at 05:30
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That's strange and saddening k There's also http://nervoushorse.spreadshirt.fi/" rel="nofollow - a European alternative but it might not work there either (although it should) and the prices are a bit too high I think. |
Posted By: Dean
Date Posted: April 24 2015 at 06:29
Converting Euros to GBP was a little more expensive than USD to GBP so I'll have to have generic own-brand baked beans for lunch instead of Heinz for a couple of days, but I can live with that... "Kiitos paljon tilauksestasi "Nervous Horse"-verkkokaupasta. Spreadshirt-tiimi tulee tästä eteenpäin huolehtimaan tilauksesi käsittelystä."  ------------- What? |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: April 24 2015 at 06:40
 
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Posted By: Dean
Date Posted: April 24 2015 at 06:46
 It's a nice piece of art-wear, I doubt it will replace my Delia Derbyshire t-shirt as the most-photographed item of apparel I own but you never know.  ------------- What? |
Posted By: twseel
Date Posted: April 24 2015 at 06:58
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this is splendid as always, and I must lay my hands on those festive gargantuan body covering specimens -------------
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Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: April 24 2015 at 07:04
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i hope the print quality will be adequate. |
Posted By: Dean
Date Posted: April 24 2015 at 07:18
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Me too, I have some t-shirts that were not good at all. I had the image that is currently my avi made into a shirt and it washed away on the first washing   ------------- What? |
Posted By: twseel
Date Posted: April 24 2015 at 07:22
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what even is that image? -------------
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Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: April 24 2015 at 07:23
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Posted By: Dean
Date Posted: April 24 2015 at 07:24
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...it is a picture of my wife carved out of aluminium wire mesh, so tread carefully for it has sharp edges ------------- What? |
Posted By: twseel
Date Posted: April 24 2015 at 07:33
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ha, weird -------------
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Posted By: JJLehto
Date Posted: April 24 2015 at 22:44
Shirts!? What is this capitalist swinery? And finally, I can now publish my even more boring and horrible pieces
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Posted By: Metalmarsh89
Date Posted: April 25 2015 at 01:24
 ------------- Want to play mafia? Visit http://www.mafiathesyndicate.com" rel="nofollow - here . |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: April 25 2015 at 11:30
 |
Posted By: JJLehto
Date Posted: April 25 2015 at 12:30
Well....if I can ever afford to, yes! I gotta watch myself though, last time I did, was walking around room naked and forgot my window was wide open, and my neighbor was sitting on his porch (their house faces mine). True story
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Posted By: Metalmarsh89
Date Posted: April 25 2015 at 16:33
Similar thing happened to my roommate. I got home before she thought I was getting home, and she was hanging out in the dining room naked. She squeeled and fled when she saw me walking up the front walk. ------------- Want to play mafia? Visit http://www.mafiathesyndicate.com" rel="nofollow - here . |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: April 25 2015 at 18:06
i woudlnt' midn a naked roommmate |
Posted By: Man With Hat
Date Posted: April 25 2015 at 19:50
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If I wear this shirt, will it make me naked? ------------- Dig me...But don't...Bury me I'm running still, I shall until, one day, I hope that I'll arrive Warning: Listening to jazz excessively can cause a laxative effect. |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: April 25 2015 at 20:29
| yes |
Posted By: Man With Hat
Date Posted: April 26 2015 at 18:59
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------------- Dig me...But don't...Bury me I'm running still, I shall until, one day, I hope that I'll arrive Warning: Listening to jazz excessively can cause a laxative effect. |
Posted By: twseel
Date Posted: April 28 2015 at 02:11
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if you see J K Giih, could you tell him the second part of Girl With Pretty Hands was no letdown -------------
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Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: April 28 2015 at 16:46
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Posted By: twseel
Date Posted: April 29 2015 at 09:10
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You must do that. -------------
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Posted By: Dean
Date Posted: May 01 2015 at 07:05
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Sorry, I'm not modelling it here and frankly if you've seen one middle-aged tubby Englishman then you've seen them all (please excuse the mess, I wasn't expecting visitors): 
It looks great, the quality is excellent and with a brief one week delivery - I'm as pleased as Punch.  [my PayPal account says it cost me £15... since I paid £20 to the English National Theatre for the Warhorse t-shirt I'm currently wearing that seems good value to me. And I'm definitely going to be the coolest guy in the village wearing it  ]Nice work Mr Vomps. ------------- What? |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: May 01 2015 at 08:11
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It looks better than I expected to be honest. |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: May 21 2015 at 06:04
| http://www.spreadshirt.co.uk/news-C3830/newsId/2869" rel="nofollow - Not only is summer is the time for some fun in the sun, but also for great promotions, events and extra money. |
Posted By: JJLehto
Date Posted: May 23 2015 at 10:27
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Where does the money from these shirts go to!? I hope it supports your frozen pizza and urine flavored beer habit. |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: May 23 2015 at 15:19
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it does butt i onyl get a few (thre e or foure i thnk) dolars per shirt |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: November 25 2015 at 05:23
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There's still room for a few more texts in the upcoming issue. This could be the opportunity of a lifetime. |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: December 31 2015 at 19:01
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http://nervoushorse.com/2015-2/index.htm" rel="nofollow - New issue out now k |
Posted By: Man With Hat
Date Posted: December 31 2015 at 19:03
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This will be the first thing I attend to in the new year. ------------- Dig me...But don't...Bury me I'm running still, I shall until, one day, I hope that I'll arrive Warning: Listening to jazz excessively can cause a laxative effect. |
Posted By: Man With Hat
Date Posted: January 02 2016 at 01:35
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Could this be the best magazine that's solely published in electronic form? ------------- Dig me...But don't...Bury me I'm running still, I shall until, one day, I hope that I'll arrive Warning: Listening to jazz excessively can cause a laxative effect. |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: May 22 2016 at 07:58
New issue (hopefully) next month k |
Posted By: Man With Hat
Date Posted: May 22 2016 at 14:59
yes. yes it is. And sex. ------------- Dig me...But don't...Bury me I'm running still, I shall until, one day, I hope that I'll arrive Warning: Listening to jazz excessively can cause a laxative effect. |
Posted By: JJLehto
Date Posted: May 22 2016 at 21:40
You should share with PA the latest submission. It was honestly, f***ing brilliant
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Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: May 23 2016 at 04:34
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Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: June 30 2016 at 09:02
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This issue is nearly finished; please try to send any submissions by the end of the week or the middle of early next week or I cannot guarantee your safety. |
Posted By: Man With Hat
Date Posted: June 30 2016 at 14:06
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I could conjure another. Once I lose all my pants. ------------- Dig me...But don't...Bury me I'm running still, I shall until, one day, I hope that I'll arrive Warning: Listening to jazz excessively can cause a laxative effect. |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: July 02 2016 at 10:05
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If anyone has any short pieces for the front page, that's what we're mostly short on. |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: July 03 2016 at 08:23
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you accidentally the same piece twice k |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: July 08 2016 at 16:44
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http://nervoushorse.com/2016-1/index.htm" rel="nofollow - New issue out now k |
Posted By: Man With Hat
Date Posted: July 08 2016 at 17:31
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^ I'm as hard as jesus on Easter. ------------- Dig me...But don't...Bury me I'm running still, I shall until, one day, I hope that I'll arrive Warning: Listening to jazz excessively can cause a laxative effect. |
Posted By: twseel
Date Posted: July 09 2016 at 01:38
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yess, there goes this weekend -------------
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Posted By: Dean
Date Posted: July 09 2016 at 03:02
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With regard to the editorial for this edition... ...self-publishing (or vanity publishing as it is also known) using print-on-demand publishing isn't expensive. The minimum spend is 1 proof-copy of the book you have produced, so assuming that is error-free there are no further costs to yourself. Any further copies are printed on demand and all costs of that are covered by the purchase price the customer pays ... much like the fabulous Nervous Horse t-shirt I imagine. I've published two novels and two picture-books this way for very little outlay, I am currently working on a quick-reference technical booklet for my own use and I am even considering reworking my NH stories into book form using this approach. ...a printed and bound souvenir/collectors edition of a selection of Nervous Horse pages sounds like a terrific idea to me. ------------- What? |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: July 09 2016 at 03:24
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How is the bind quality? I'd buy a NH collection but I wouldln't want to decide what goes in it and what gets left out. |
Posted By: Dean
Date Posted: July 10 2016 at 05:35
Very good. The paperbacks I have had made by createspace.com are stitched and glued to "trade paperback" quality. If your page-count isn't divisible by 4 then blank-pages are added to the end to ensure that the stitching can be done correctly. Lulu.com offers "perfect bound" which are just glued which is not as good as createspace but I've not had any of them fall to pieces yet. (they also do "saddle-stitched" for page-counts of less than 48 but that wouldn't apply here).
Well - that really depends on how many pages it would take to publish everything without having to edit the content. And that is determined by how many pages each article requires. Each page of a 133x203mm (5"x8") paperback is around 500 words or 30 lines in 10pt font If we presume that most submitted articles need one or two print pages and every edition has 30 articles then that's 60 pages per edition. So to include everything from the first 8 editions would require a between 350 to 480 pages - all 9 editions would be 540 pages and the price difference between 480 and 540 isn't that much. (I've excluded my Mundane Adventures series here as its word-count already exceeds that of a novella and I expect it to run to around 100 pages by the time it's finished - my only interest in seeing them in print is so they are de-serialised and self-contained therefore sacrificing their inclusion in an anthology is an easy choice to make. Also any personal vanity of seeing my work published in a hard-copy edition of Nervous Horse is covered by other pieces I've submitted... ).Depending on which print-on-demand service you use a paperback of 500 black and white pages with full colour cover costs around $9 to make and retails for $14 (assuming zero-profit for the author). I can't speak for every one but I'll happily pay $14 for such a unique book. Obviously if you want it to be cheaper then you'll have to reduce the number of submissions included, or publish it in two or more volumes so people could buy as many volumes as their budget can afford. ------------- What? |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: July 10 2016 at 15:27
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I'll have to think about it k To me a 300-pageish "greatest hits" would probably make most sense. Maybe after the final issue there'll be a complete multi-volume leather-bound collection. |
Posted By: Man With Hat
Date Posted: July 11 2016 at 14:33
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^ is the nervous horse going to die? ------------- Dig me...But don't...Bury me I'm running still, I shall until, one day, I hope that I'll arrive Warning: Listening to jazz excessively can cause a laxative effect. |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: July 12 2016 at 17:15
| Depending on breed, management and environment, the modern domestic horse has a life expectancy of 25 to 30 years. Uncommonly, a few animals live into their 40s and, occasionally, beyond. |
Posted By: infocat
Date Posted: July 12 2016 at 22:55
------------- -- Frank Swarbrick Belief is not Truth. |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: July 13 2016 at 04:49
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Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: October 22 2016 at 16:55
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Bump. I've more or less worked out the basic layout, and it seems like the book might be around 450 pages k |
Posted By: Dean
Date Posted: October 23 2016 at 02:05
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------------- What? |