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EchoTail ![]() Forum Newbie ![]() ![]() Joined: September 03 2014 Status: Offline Points: 7 |
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Just released a new album for you guys to check out if you like, I'll post a link below this message. Thanks for checking out my other albums before, I hope you like this album even more!
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Kazza3 ![]() Forum Senior Member ![]() ![]() Joined: November 29 2009 Location: Australia Status: Offline Points: 557 |
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Great song! I definitely think it emotionally makes sense in general. I particularly enjoy the verses, and the descent to the rich low note at the end (especially in the first verse). If it were me... I think in general, it could use a little more space (the vocals are almost non-stop, gotta give yourself a break!), a few instrumental sections- and I swear this isn't just the prog fan in me talking- just in terms of a bit more of an intro, repeating that figuration a few more times before the vocal entry, and I particularly felt it after the second "Can you hear me section", rather than going straight into a third verse, it could use a bit of room to breathe there. On a similar note on the third verse, while I like that you use the "Can you hear me" sections beforehand and don't bring in the chorus until later on, I feel like that verse needs more variation, tension, or increasing range to the vocal melody, to avoid feeling like it's just repeating the previous verses (given how short the "Can you hear me" is). Same probably goes for the fourth if you don't want to use a bridge- as I said, I really like the verse, but you want to be careful of over-repetition. The chorus maybe is where your question on emotion comes in, while I like the contrast between short attacks of the chorus against the flowing verses, and it definitely works (reminds me of iamthemorning), somehow it doesn't quite feel strong or decisive enough to deliver on the tension built up during the verses. But that's just me, it's good, but it doesn't seem to quite get where I want it to. The transition between the end of the verse and the start of the chorus feels a little long, maybe, and I think it's mainly the second half of the chorus that seems to flow a little strangely. I like the sudden ending. One last criticism, though as I said I like the low trailing ends of the verse melodies, in some of the later verses you seem to lose vocal quality and become almost more speechlike- which could be intentional, but if so it could be more convincing. And if not, I know it's just a demo, but I thought I'd mention it anyway. But this is all nit-picking, it sounds great!
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Star_Song_Age_Less ![]() Forum Senior Member ![]() ![]() Joined: December 08 2014 Location: MA Status: Offline Points: 367 |
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That is awesome! My school did not have such nifty things. It was all acoustic music for us. |
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https://www.facebook.com/JamieKernMusic
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The.Crimson.King ![]() Forum Senior Member ![]() ![]() Joined: March 29 2013 Location: WA Status: Offline Points: 4596 |
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Thanks, so glad you liked it! I actually took an electronic music class at my local junior college way back in '81 and the entire class focused on teaching how subtractive synthesis worked (which made sense as other types of synthesis like additive, PCM/ROMpler, sampling, wave table, etc hadn't reached the mainstream or even been invented yet). My school had a computer lab and we all got to record our final project piece on one of these ![]() ![]() |
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Star_Song_Age_Less ![]() Forum Senior Member ![]() ![]() Joined: December 08 2014 Location: MA Status: Offline Points: 367 |
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So I've been working on a song for a few days that I originally wrote years ago. I put together a rough demo. This one's really not proggish in any way, but the thread title just says songwriters, not just prog-writers, so here it is. I'm not ready to share this one with the world at large - I intend to remove it at some point. But I'd welcome some constructive criticism. It's not particularly complicated, what I'm wondering is if it emotionally does what it's supposed to do. I know what I think, but would like to hear unbiased thoughts from other music people.
Note - I'm not worried about the mix or the recording quality - just the song itself. This was a quick home recording with terrible equipment, no preamp or anything. I really could have used a preamp for the vocals... [Removed for further work - thanks to those who responded!] Edited by Star_Song_Age_Less - February 07 2015 at 13:16 |
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https://www.facebook.com/JamieKernMusic
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Star_Song_Age_Less ![]() Forum Senior Member ![]() ![]() Joined: December 08 2014 Location: MA Status: Offline Points: 367 |
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I am always amazed when people are able to do this so handily. I just scroll through my keyboard's sounds until I find something I like. I hadn't heard "Pictures at an Exhibition" in an extremely long time but recognized it immediately, and enjoyed this version. Nice. |
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https://www.facebook.com/JamieKernMusic
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The.Crimson.King ![]() Forum Senior Member ![]() ![]() Joined: March 29 2013 Location: WA Status: Offline Points: 4596 |
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Thanks for giving it a listen and your kind words! I love the Radias subtractive synth engine and I can really get it to do just about anything my old analog synth's can do sound and performance wise...it's such a fun box to program and has dozens of knobs/buttons for real time control. As for Kiev, I know exactly what you mean and I actually got the idea for having Kiev be a step down in intensity rather than a step up from the Japanese classical guitarist Kuzohito Yamash*ta and his arrangement of the piece. I like the way it does exactly the opposite of what a listener would expect
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Kazza3 ![]() Forum Senior Member ![]() ![]() Joined: November 29 2009 Location: Australia Status: Offline Points: 557 |
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Really well done! Big effort to arrange all that and design all the synth patches and so on, the synth sounds great. I'm not very familiar with the ELP full-band version of Pictures, but I am certainly familiar with the work itself. To be honest I've never been a big fan of the 'synthesised classical music' fad, other than as a passing curiosity, for me it can never adds any new light to the compositions. As these things go, then, I liked what you did and greatly appreciate the work that goes into the arrangement, there were arrangement choices I liked and some I felt were lacking, but those were usually just inherent to the format (Kiev is my favourite movement, so when it gets there and it doesn't sound like an overwhelming column of pure glory bursting forth, it's always going to be disappointing). So in the end, for me, I listen to the treatment of the original work with a lot of interest, but my bigger pleasure is revelling in the retro synth sounds.
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The.Crimson.King ![]() Forum Senior Member ![]() ![]() Joined: March 29 2013 Location: WA Status: Offline Points: 4596 |
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A few months ago I recorded an arrangement of Mussorgsky's full "Pictures at an Exhibition" suite using only a Korg Radias synth. The Radias is a circa 2005 synth with many different types of synthesis options. For this project I only created voices using the subtractive synth engine to give it that 70's type of sound. After being introduced to this piece by ELP over 35 years ago it has remained my fave classical work. Doing this arrangement was lots of fun as I could hear what parts ELP emphasized in their interpretation.
Anyway, here it is...hope you like it
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Kazza3 ![]() Forum Senior Member ![]() ![]() Joined: November 29 2009 Location: Australia Status: Offline Points: 557 |
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I can definitely understand that feeling- and I feel like there's plenty of modern symph bands that do the same, but they don't realise or don't care...
Nice! I definitely wouldn't call it indie rock though, seems very definitely a modern prog ballad reminiscent of several female-fronted bands in particular, I can't quite place who, my memory isn't as encyclopedic as some.
Well, the beauty of today is being able to record any idea immediately on your phone, and so on. I've got plenty of sh*tty, cliched ideas that I'll never use recorded on various things. -- Having spoken before about having been stuck, writing-wise, I'm having a bit of success for the first time in a couple of years. There's a short poem by a friend of mine that I like, and have thought before that it'd be nice to put to music, and so I put some thought into it and saw the music that should go with it, just vaguely, the textures, timbres, colours, etc. That's not unusual for me, but this time I've been able to materialise it (or part of it, so far), which is the breakthrough. What I've got so far certainly doesn't conform exactly to how I initially saw it, but it's right in feel. Similarly to what you were saying, Jamie, I could've tried harder to keep it as I saw it, but it would have been forced, instead I found what felt right both in itself and for the feel of the piece. It won't be anything big or special, but hopefully I'll be able to get something out of this before the holidays are over. |
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Star_Song_Age_Less ![]() Forum Senior Member ![]() ![]() Joined: December 08 2014 Location: MA Status: Offline Points: 367 |
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Alright, so here's where I fit into the songwriting circle. I started writing music when I was 12 and it was terrible!
![]() I don't have any set method I use to write music. Sometimes I just sit at the keyboard or with a guitar and play for hours. Sometimes a particular idea strikes me for a poem, and usually I hear music in my head to go with it as it develops on paper. Sometimes I dream music and hope I can figure it out in the keyboard when I wake up. There are some songs that are most definitely prog, but almost all of those were songs that I set out to create in the prog genre, and feel forced. Only one of those made it on to the album's track list, because it wasn't written that way. It's not done being mixed yet (none are completely). I put together this video of clips from the current mix (the song is called "Wings of Ash" and actually was one of those dream songs): [.video=youtube;-XCpCyxYcIk]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v-XCpCyxYcIk[/video.] Here are the full lyrics for "Wings of Ash": Like a disease Bound to this place of death and dying Light through cracks in this nethering sky Gives no life its heat. Suffering, bent will Hide inside this blackened house Nurse the hate that sent you here Hollow eternal home Shelters your insanity. Ashes of a goddess Mirror hanging outside, far from view Staring ceaseless Running far from view, far from you From your wasteland The curse of the touch of your hand Running from your wings of ash Burnt grass, knarled trees Riddle your prison to its horizon Since you emerged From your pyre of disbelief Ashes of a goddess Mirror hanging outside, far from view Staring ceaseless Running far from view, far from you From your wasteland The curse of the touch of your hand Running from your wings of ash There is fire in the trees It is freezing in your blood Darkness neverending here You will not escape from here You cannot escape from here You will not escape from here Spreading wings of ash... Spreading wings of ash... Rising on wings of ash, But nevermore to rise from the grave I turn away from you, Your charred and vacant face Exiled to your infinite garden of death. Ashes of a goddess. [The lyrics directly describe what happened in the dream. I didn't understand it at first, but later came to realize the dream was quite psychologically significant to me]. And then there's the other end of my songwriting spectrum, which certainly still is proggish, but I think would be called "indie rock" by the music industry... perhaps? This is Blinded... with me being very goofy-looking, but the video itself was well-done I thought: Here are the lyrics: I am blinded Blinded by your glare Wind like razors on my skin Why did I let this begin In, in my own eyes? Blinded by your glare Your goodness hanging Heavy in the air If there is a god Is he speaking to you? Blinded by your tears of apology You are far too kind to me I'm blinded by your honesty. Sometimes I, sometimes I Catch myself being weak. Sometimes I, sometimes I Want to fall into you. If there is a line to heaven, I assure you You, my friend, will get there before I do Since if there is a god, he knows you're not perfect But if there is a god, he knows you're the better one. There are many, many songs that I have no recordings of - the music and lyrics are written down and in my head. Most of the limitation is time and money. But I've hit many songwriting slumps, sometimes spending a year or so without even touching an instrument. It comes in spurts.... I'd love to talk to some fellow songwriters about all this stuff. No one around me really gets it. They see music as something to keep you calm at the grocery store. Edited by Star_Song_Age_Less - December 09 2014 at 01:38 |
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Star_Song_Age_Less ![]() Forum Senior Member ![]() ![]() Joined: December 08 2014 Location: MA Status: Offline Points: 367 |
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Okay…so this quite the long post. But it’s because I missed all this great
stuff after being gone for a while – lost my login, no retrieval email, work,
kid, house, life, etc. Anyway… being
back on this forum is good for my soul.
I saw this thread and had to go through it. So many breaths of fresh air. Here’s what I thought of a bunch of it.
Timbo1961 – Holy cow do you sound like Peter Gabriel! I like it. “Alpha-Omega” was really lovely. MustardSea – I was sad when I saw that no one really
responded to your post of your music. I
listened to it – very slow riffs, made me think of what Type O Negative would
be like if they weren’t so… well, so negative.
It has a crunchy, eased-back sort of beauty to it, very ambient. The new
“By The Sunrise” is very pleasant, too. pianoman – I’m floored by Ocean Architecture. This is the whole reason I joined this site in the first place (years ago… before I forgot my password and was “StarsongAgeless”… now I’m busted back down to a n00B). I love music that takes me places I don’t expect, and this does it beautifully and brutally. Found Animus on iTunes and bought immediately. I then checked out Revolving Maze by
Involved. Again… wow. “Ingress” starts out beautiful and soaring
and builds to something a bit Martian Chronicles Soundtrack-like that tells you
the project is going somewhere great. It
delivers lush soundscapes, but more than that – so much comparable music just
creates a mood, and that’s it – a constant mood for anywhere from 3 to 10
minutes. Not so here. There’s so much motion. Each track tells its own story rather than
standing still on something ear-catching.
It’s so refreshing and emotionally absorbing. Thank you.
In my day-to-day life, I am surrounded by people who think pop radio is
the be-all and end-all of creativity.
Hearing music like this restores my faith in humanity. Now, (still talking to pianoman), I have a question for you – it looks like the track order for Revolving Maze is different on iTunes compared to on Bandcamp. Is one or the other the intended order? Dayvenkirq – I noticed you talked
about getting stuck in certain modes, like coming up with hard rock riffs when
intending to write for metal music. I
know how you feel. I’ve found that when
something like this happens to me, it means that I need to get that stuff out
of my system. I have to go ahead and
write it – finish the song or songs that belong with the hard rock riffs, and
then maybe at a later date the metal will come out. It’s like the 10,000 hour rule – you have to
put your time in, even if what you’re producing isn’t what you wish you were. Sometimes it's agonizing. “Does anyone here tend to overthink when they write lyrics? Do you write choruses? Or do you just write stanzas or free verses? Single lines? Do you bother with rhymes? Do all your choruses in a song have the same lyrics?” – With me, there is no single approach that works. It always starts with something that comes naturally. It may be a tune on the piano or guitar, or just a few words in my head – or I may get a sudden urge to write a poem. Usually when I write the poem I just hear the music that would go with it in my head (and then after playing with it for a few years it eventually reaches something like a finished form). There’s a lot of discussion about thinking on here in regards to writing, and I tend to find that if I’m thinking too much it means I’m done. I need to take a break. If I’m not playing music or singing or actually typing/writing words, and am therefore just sitting there thinking, I’ve reached an obstacle and I need to distract myself for at least a little while. There’s one statement on page 15 that I have to disagree with: “Well, I think that if you really want to cook up something soon, then may I suggest sticking with one style for now? If you want your body of work to be stylistically consistent, look at what the other artists are/were doing.” This advice would never have worked for me. I have to do what comes naturally to me at the time, otherwise the end product always sounds forced. About the “Throwaways” you put up – the first thing I noticed was that the tuning was off. If your keyboard isn’t working well for tuning, I’d suggest one of those electronic ones that has a light-up scale so that you can be sure you’re on the right pitch. You do some nice runs on #6. It sounds like you have the same issue I do with the guitar, which is that no matter how much I practice the strings always buzz. It drives me insane. Regenard – I started listening to Supercraft Saga 1 and immediately recognized the opening. Don’t mean to freak you out! It was just the first 20 seconds or so. I’m not sure where else I’d heard it unfortunately, but being a prog fan I’m betting it was in a prog song… most likely Yes, Rush, Nektar, Rick Wakeman, Glass Hammer or Emmerson Lake and Palmer… but actually could also be from a video game, lots of them have prog-like synth stuff happening. After that first 20 seconds… I greatly enjoyed this piece. It’s uplifting even in its current midi state. I’ve never managed to make a midi composition sound even somewhat natural – good for you for doing so. Polymorphia – “There's always a niche for honest songwriting.” I agree. Every time I set out to write something purposefully it falls flat on its face because it’s not really coming from me. Sometimes, I hear a prog song that technically is very good but just does absolutely nothing for me– it sounds dead, lifeless, emotionless. I often wonder if it’s because the music was designed for sound only, and didn’t come from some deep instinct inside the composer… of course, I could be dead wrong. And I greatly enjoyed “Jeanie with Raven Hair” – it surprised the heck out of me, I thought it was going to be a fairly standard verse-chorus-verse-chorus song based on the start, but it really, really wasn’t. I love surprises. Any plans to put this on an album? After hearing the Dinner Guests’ music, I’m suspecting you are a superb songwriter. N-sz – New Song/Old Song: Acoustic guitar
chops = awesome! There’s no way I could
play that and sing at the same time.
Love the change around 3:00 and 4:30, nice development. I would love to hear this one done in a
studio setting. As to both your and
others’ comments about your vocals – in the past decade, people seem to be more
and more obsessed with vocal “perfection.” It started, I think, mostly with pop singers,
but if you listen to an old album in just about any genre you’ll find that the
pitch of the singer is not always that perfect spot on to the pitch within 1%
as it now is on just about everything.
This is the double-edged sword of autotune. It has made many people forget that the human
voice is not just about perfection, it is about expression. Personally, I think you expressed yourself well. Could you benefit from vocal training and
practice? Sure. But my advice is not to
sacrifice the sense of you that comes with your natural voice. I wish I could hear the last song you put up. There's some sort of problem with the link. Pessimist - Wonderful piano parts! Technically great music, not my personal listening cup of tea, but I usually don't connect much with jazz. I'm not entirely sure why. I'd love to share with all of you some of my songwriting process/where I'm at musically, but this post is already so long I'm afraid the forum might not even let me post the whole thing. So I'll post this, then work on my own. |
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N-sz ![]() Forum Senior Member ![]() ![]() Joined: May 28 2011 Location: NH Status: Offline Points: 344 |
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^ Thanks! Fair criticisms. I agree that the organ sound was pretty plain. I used some more textured sounds with that organ in other recordings, but since this one is a kind of robotic sounding song, I thought that might match it well and create some overall contrast with the EP where it originally comes from. Haha glad you liked the effects. I had some fun with that. Thanks again for listening :)
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Kazza3 ![]() Forum Senior Member ![]() ![]() Joined: November 29 2009 Location: Australia Status: Offline Points: 557 |
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Sounds good, some great ideas! Whoever you talked to was spot on about recommending drums. My main criticism would be that it sounds a little stilted- which would partly be because you tracked drums last, if you did drums first, with their full groove, then recorded the organ to those drums you should a much more 'in the pocket' performance. Of course, that stilted kind of sound is partly just the nature of that kind of organ style. My other criticism is that the overall effect sounds a little plain/not lush enough, or something like that, which may just be the organ tone, mixing, but partly ties into the previous comment. But nice. I like the effects on the drums toward the end!
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N-sz ![]() Forum Senior Member ![]() ![]() Joined: May 28 2011 Location: NH Status: Offline Points: 344 |
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New:
http://https://nickyj.bandcamp.com/track/no-34-now-with-drums Edited by N-sz - December 09 2014 at 13:15 |
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MustardSea ![]() Forum Groupie ![]() ![]() Joined: January 18 2013 Location: Vienna, Austria Status: Offline Points: 83 |
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Recently recorded a new song:
Any feedback is welcome. ;) |
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Dayvenkirq ![]() Forum Senior Member ![]() ![]() Joined: May 25 2011 Location: Los Angeles, CA Status: Offline Points: 10970 |
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[stupid crap erased]
Edited by Dayvenkirq - November 10 2014 at 00:31 |
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MustardSea ![]() Forum Groupie ![]() ![]() Joined: January 18 2013 Location: Vienna, Austria Status: Offline Points: 83 |
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EchoTail ![]() Forum Newbie ![]() ![]() Joined: September 03 2014 Status: Offline Points: 7 |
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Thanks Kazza for listening! During the recording, I did not intend for the album to become metal, but I guess it just happened naturally as I was doing it! I do agree with your opinion about the variety within the songs; I actually wanted to put vocals on these songs in the future and switch the structure of the songs around a bit.
It was my first real attempt in recording an album of some sorts, and do not have the resources that a recording studio has, so I am very happy that you like what you have heard so far!
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Kazza3 ![]() Forum Senior Member ![]() ![]() Joined: November 29 2009 Location: Australia Status: Offline Points: 557 |
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Great stuff EchoTail! I only listened to parts the tracks (sorry) on poor headphones, but the opening track is my favourite, the guitar solo and tone is very nicely done. Several of the other tracks feature riffs that are little too straight-up metal for my tastes, with higher gain guitar tones than I like. Be sure with an instrumental album to keep it varied and interesting, from that perspective I enjoyed the quieter moments the most. Sounds well mixed from what I could hear too. Well done!
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