Joined: November 19 2005
Location: New Jersey
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Points: 10964
Posted: August 03 2012 at 23:26
The Truth wrote:
darkshade wrote:
rant
Well did that last time end on really bad terms? Did you apologize?
Well, there were no apologies from me because I did nothing wrong. The one who instigated it the most, the one I mostly argued with, I don't consider a real friend anyway. So it was just bad terms with the one guy. I expressed I was pissed at him when I left, and said normal goodbye's to everyone else. But it just made me realize I don't need that sh*t in my life, and people like that, it felt like I was in high school all over again. Those guys are 20-21, and I'm 24 along with my main group of friends who are 24-25. We're in different places in life, they're still immature, and I've grown tired of my regular friends. So I want no contact with any of them for a while.
Joined: April 15 2012
Location: My Bedroom
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Points: 14169
Posted: August 04 2012 at 02:04
Just finished the script for the first episode of my future sketch comedy show Get Ready for Something. The sketches include The Monty Python Sketch, The Bieber Fever Sketch, The Decapitated Head of my Brother Lucas Skecth, and The End of the Episode Sketch.
Joined: April 19 2009
Location: Kansas
Status: Offline
Points: 21795
Posted: August 04 2012 at 02:17
darkshade wrote:
The Truth wrote:
darkshade wrote:
rant
Well did that last time end on really bad terms? Did you apologize?
Well, there were no apologies from me because I did nothing wrong. The one who instigated it the most, the one I mostly argued with, I don't consider a real friend anyway. So it was just bad terms with the one guy. I expressed I was pissed at him when I left, and said normal goodbye's to everyone else. But it just made me realize I don't need that sh*t in my life, and people like that, it felt like I was in high school all over again. Those guys are 20-21, and I'm 24 along with my main group of friends who are 24-25. We're in different places in life, they're still immature, and I've grown tired of my regular friends. So I want no contact with any of them for a while.
Joined: July 27 2010
Location: Tel Aviv
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Points: 4160
Posted: August 04 2012 at 06:57
firstly, hi.
secondly @ Mike I've learned to stay away from the sorta trash talk people. Frankly the trash talk me and my friends have is completely sarcastic so it's more like reverse trash talk... idk... I just don't enjoy those trash talk kinda hang outs. Probs also cuz I suck at it :D
Joined: April 01 2009
Location: Atlanta
Status: Offline
Points: 26138
Posted: August 04 2012 at 09:34
darkshade wrote:
No offense, Austin, but my rant may warrant the opinions of people who
have been out of high school for a while, but who am I kidding; I'm
ranting to the shred
Anyway, I've grown absolutely tired and fed up with my group of friends.
At this point in my life, there's 4-5 friends I can hit up to hang out.
Out of those 4-5 friends, there's a larger group of friends, who are
more associates to me than true friends, but I've known most of them
since high school or earlier, but there's also this smaller group who
I've only know a couple of years or so, who are also a few years younger
than me and my main group of friends. The other day, one of the ones
I've only known for a few years starts teasing me, y'know, guy stuff. I
can usually roll with the punches, and even have a comeback or 2 lined
up ready to go. For some reason, it got a little out of hand, and it
wound up with 2 of them and 1 of my long-time friends pretty much
ganging up on me, and I had to take the defensive. It became a shouting
match, and a lot of cursing ensued, and "f**k you's", etc. Another long-time
friend was there, but he just stood there, occasionally snickering until
it got out of hand, and when it did, I would have thought he'd try to
break up the pissing contest, but he didn't do anything. On top of that, for some time now, my friends have been cutting me off in conversation, or worse, letting me talk until I realize they're not paying attention to me and are actually paying attention to someone else's conversation, which really pisses me off.
This was a bit of a breaking point, and I've not hung out with any of my
friends since. None of them have called me to hang out, or see what's
up, and it's actually been going on for a while, I essentially have to
call one of them to hang out if I want to do something. I've decided to
not call or text any of them for a while, and if they DO decide to
contact me, I'll act nice and polite and say I'm busy or something. I wanted some opinions to see if this is a good idea or not. I'm sure it's a good idea to take a break, but I'm thinking at least a couple months minimum.
That's a drag, Mike, and I feel your frustration. The source of it all could very well be nothing to do with you personally -- perhaps just some insecurity floating around, and some topsy-turviness in the "guy pecking order" of the circle of friends. I don't know you that well, but from what I do know, you come across as a fairly grounded sort of guy, perhaps the sort of "easy target" they feel they can take something out on, who isn't going to fall to pieces under that kind of fire.
I dunno, the story you tell leaves out a lot of details, but I tried to fill in the blanks from my own experiences, and look back on it with 20/20 hindsight, which one rarely has in the emotion of the moment. It's probably a good idea to steer clear of them (in a civil way, as you said) for a month or two, and I'm sure they'll soon realize what they're missing and they'll treat you with a bit more respect after that.
My other avatar is a Porsche
It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle if it is lightly greased.
Joined: April 01 2009
Location: Atlanta
Status: Offline
Points: 26138
Posted: August 04 2012 at 09:41
re: real life friends
Most of my life, I've only had 2, maybe 3 good friends at a time. I just never really needed (or could handle) any more. To this day, the couple of people who I would call my "BFFs" are people I don't even see or talk to that often -- but our experiences together over many years have created a bond that will never really wear off.
On a more day-to-day basis, most of my social life revolves around my daughter. Although I never would have imagined myself doing this 20 years ago, now my wife and I hang out with other parents with kids close in age to my daughter. And what's more -- I like these people. I'm glad there are parent-types out there who have some depth to their personality and a good sense of humor (and who like cool music, sometimes). As far as "Me Time" goes, I've got my band Rare Goat, and the three guys in that band and I are pretty close, and one of them I would count as one of my best friends, probably the friend I see most often.
My other avatar is a Porsche
It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle if it is lightly greased.
Joined: March 21 2008
Location: Tigerstaden
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Points: 34100
Posted: August 04 2012 at 09:43
Garms vocals on Gandalfs Can You Travel In the Dark, is a revelation, one of the best vocals i have heard, it is a true blessing of warmnes and silky smooth male vocals
Joined: November 19 2005
Location: New Jersey
Status: Offline
Points: 10964
Posted: August 04 2012 at 09:52
HolyMoly wrote:
darkshade wrote:
rant
That's a drag, Mike, and I feel your frustration. The source of it all could very well be nothing to do with you personally -- perhaps just some insecurity floating around, and some topsy-turviness in the "guy pecking order" of the circle of friends. I don't know you that well, but from what I do know, you come across as a fairly grounded sort of guy, perhaps the sort of "easy target" they feel they can take something out on, who isn't going to fall to pieces under that kind of fire.
I dunno, the story you tell leaves out a lot of details, but I tried to fill in the blanks from my own experiences, and look back on it with 20/20 hindsight, which one rarely has in the emotion of the moment. It's probably a good idea to steer clear of them (in a civil way, as you said) for a month or two, and I'm sure they'll soon realize what they're missing and they'll treat you with a bit more respect after that.
Well like I said, it was guy stuff like taking jabs at each other, but for some reason it got out of hand, which is not what usually happens. I left out details, because, what i wrote was already long, and I wanted to cut to the chase. There are, of course, more details and back story to what I said, but I'm not writing a book about my life
I think I will just stay away for a while, and stay polite if they contact me (the one I got heated with doesn't have my phone number anyway, as I said, he is/was more of an associate). I've been meaning to do something like that for a while now.
When I was about your age, the few friends I had wound up becoming occasional phone calls and now we see one another maybe twice a year. We're still fond of one another but we all have different lives.
As you age (especially after you become involved in a career / family) old friendships diminish in luminosity, if that makes sense. They may still shimmer, but the radiance is gone. Everybody's attention gets absorbed by so many other things.
Because you are guys (no offense to any ladies in here), I would suggest that you speak to them directly about your frustrations if they mean anything to you.
If you mean anything to them, they will listen and make amends with you.
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darkshade wrote:
