Bad jokes...

There are these 3 friends in heaven named James, Fred, and John.  Everything is perfect in heaven, except every so often there are these black cirlces that if you step on them, something bad happens to you.  So James goes out for a walk one day and he steps on one of the black circles.  He comes back home with this really ugly woman beside him and his friends ask "what happened???" to which he replies "Aw man, I stepped on one of those black circles." 
    So a couple days later, Fred goes out for a little stroll and the same exact thing happens to him, he comes home with this really ugly girl.
    The next day, John goes out, but this time he comes home with a reallllly hot girl.  James and Fred ask "WHOA!!! What happened man???"  and the girl answers "Aw man, I stepped on one of those black circles." 

Husband and wife celebrating 25 years of marriage.

Q: How many Bush administration officials does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None. There is no need to change anything. We made the right decision to stick with that light bulb. People who say it is burned out are giving aid and encouragement to the Forces of Darkness.

^^^

bhikkhu wrote: A grasshopper goes into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, we've got a drink named after you." The grasshopper says, "Really, you have a drink named Fred?"

or mamanator

When a man is walking down one side of the street, what's on the other ?

Well with the excuse of a bad joke .This began in a bar of vampires,...enter the first and drank one bottle of Orh+,after enter the second an other   very macho vampire,that drank one bottle of AbRh-,after enter the thirld vampire and   said ..I  want one Tampax  please...,the others vampires begin to laugh haahaahaa,and saying uhmm this vampire is strange ,but the thirld vampire said ....Why  I cant drink some little teabag?

Edited by markosherrera - September 22 2007 at 21:17

YO MOMMA

TEETH UP THERE
Six-year-old Johnny is the most gullible little boy in the world. One day, he is out shopping with his mother when he walks up to a mannequin and starts to run his hand up the mannequin's skirt. Johnny's mother sees this and rushes over, saying, "Johnny, don't you dare put your hand under there! Women have teeth up there and you're lucky she didn't bite your fingers off!" Johnny nodded dumbly and swore he would never touch a woman there. Well 10 years later, 16-year-old Johnny is out on his first date with Cindy and after dinner and a movie they find themselves in the back seat getting hot and heavy. After awhile, Cindy finally says to Johnny, "Don't you want to take it one step further? Don't you want to put your hands down my pants?" Johnny immediately says, "Oh, no, you might bite my fingers off! I bet you have really sharp teeth down there!" She starts to laugh and says, "No, I don't." "Yes, you do!" he says. "No, I don't! Look, I'll prove it to you!" she says, and whips off her jeans and panties, leans back, spreads her legs and says, "See, I told you so!" He takes one look and exclaims, "Well, no wonder. Look at the condition of your gums!"