TALES FROM TOPOGRAPHIC OCEANS

"Tales From Pornographic Oceans", or was it something to do with Topogiggio, that mouse on the Ed Sullivan show? I can't remember. This is one silly album. Lots of long winded nonsense, at least in my book, which is the book I am writting from, so there. Rick Wakeman was a pretentious fopp with a cape and that kind of sums up this record...maybe it should be refered to as "cape rock". Of course, Rick was later to go on to such stellar heights as that crazy opera on ice thing. He was always thinking wasn't he. I heard a story once about how he refused to go on stage because, honestly, someone had stolen hi cape! How bout that! It wasn't me...I was no where near the arena. Back to the music (as the crowd shouts..."do we have to?"). Well, come to think of it, no we don't. I thought this record was an immense piece of crap in the mid 70's and hey...it holds up as such today! Now don't get me wrong, if you are into this kinda thing...you know sub par classical inspired drivel disguised under cape as a rock band with loftier intentions and actually playing rock & roll music while pondering the outer reaches of, well, Topographic Oceans...then by all means this is for you. Take it...please...far away from here. In closing I wll say, I liked the first 2 yes records...loved the third...liked the 4th a lot and tolerated the 5th. From there on out...it's really a fast downhill slide into, well, a toporgraphic ocean somewhere. This LP is one of many reasons why punk rock happened, for that alone, we can praise it, and for no toher reason than that.

Dear Richard....hope you have no more incidents involving loss of capes or mistreatment to any horses you know that may be likely to perform on an ice surface.

Dear Steve. What the hell happened? You were so great in The In Crowd and Tomorrow, not to mention The Yes Album and Fragile. Was it peer pressure?

Dear Jon. Um...the lyrics here are, well....you do have a nice voice.

Dear Chris. You kicked ass from The Syn onwards...I don't hold you responsible for any of this mess.