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sleeper 
Prog Reviewer 
Joined: October 09 2005 Location: Entropia Status: Offline Points: 16449 |
 Posted: May 30 2006 at 19:53 |
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^Thats a fantastic road sign
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Spending more than I should on Prog since 2005
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Peter
Special Collaborator 
Honorary Collaborator Joined: January 31 2004 Location: Canada Status: Offline Points: 9669 |
Posted: May 30 2006 at 19:51 |
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 Who told you that? That incorrigible trouble maker Ko'L? Right! Deploying war moose to his location now (liberal/humanist ethics be damned) -- don't try to stop me!!!!
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"And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy! O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!' He chortled in his joy. |
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Peter
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator Joined: January 31 2004 Location: Canada Status: Offline Points: 9669 |
Posted: May 30 2006 at 19:43 |
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^ Ha!
 Now that's FUNNY! Love the "Light Metal" (would that be "aluminum" or "tin foil?"
 ) one, and the references to "creepy Scandinavian guys burning down orphanages" and the "Bwaaaarrgh!" vocals!Thanks for sharing that, Billy Bee!
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"And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy! O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!' He chortled in his joy. |
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sleeper
Prog Reviewer
Joined: October 09 2005 Location: Entropia Status: Offline Points: 16449 |
Posted: May 30 2006 at 19:37 |
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Good to see you liked a metal song Peter  .I actually agree with you about metal, its all to fractureed for its own good, and I havnt a clue why. As for catagorizing where bands go, this site is proof that no two people can agree on where all bands would go, its a shame that these genres actually do help to recommend similer bands to people, it would all be so much simpiler without them. |
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Spending more than I should on Prog since 2005
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Peter
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator Joined: January 31 2004 Location: Canada Status: Offline Points: 9669 |
Posted: May 30 2006 at 19:29 |
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Why thank you, Ko'L!
 'Tis all in jest, of course -- it's healthy be able to laugh at ourselves, I think!
 Now, don't tell any of my picky proghole pals here, or my rep is shot, but... I burned a copy of "Enter Sandman" a couple of years back and... I still dig it! Cool song!
 (Don't know what I was thinking with that silly "Du Hast" thing, though!)Still, I think metal in particular has a bewildering number of supposed categories. Why is that, I wonder?
Is the need to so finely and hair-splittingly assign the music to so many narrow categories driven by the fans, the artists, or the music biz? (It's all just metal, to me.) Beyond the broadest "necessary" categories, I find all those delineations (and not just in metal, but that genre seems the most fractured, by far) to be rather silly, and even somewhat anal. Can anyone really (independently) tell where each band belongs? Do any two fans ever agree on all of those categories? Is it a symptom of our troubled, divided times? Is it a part of our primitive, inherent tribal instinct to errect "walls" and barriers, to say who belongs, and who does not -- the old "us and them?" Where music once united youth, does it now largely divide? Did the CIA, Mark the Shark and/or the Republican party/military-industrial complex instigate this "divide and conquer" conspiracy? Is the TRUTH out there? Does Maani know it?   Could it all (gasp!) be our list-mad Mike's fault?  Piddling, passing concerns of global warming, environmental disaster and the clash of cultures, economies and religions aside, these are the momentous, pressing issues that trouble me to no end -- nor am I alone, I see, in my abject, paralyzing confusion! 'Tis a veritable Tower o' Babel, I tell ye!  Edited by Peter Rideout - May 30 2006 at 19:52 |
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"And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy! O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!' He chortled in his joy. |
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billbuckner
Forum Senior Member 
Joined: May 07 2006 Status: Offline Points: 433 |
Posted: May 30 2006 at 19:17 |
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That's awesome. Reminds me of this article from "Your Band Sucks"
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Viajero Astral
Forum Senior Member
Joined: January 16 2006 Location: Mexico Status: Offline Points: 3118 |
Posted: May 30 2006 at 16:42 |
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Yeah, the Prog one is priceless
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Tristan Mulders
Prog Reviewer
Joined: September 28 2004 Status: Offline Points: 1723 |
Posted: May 30 2006 at 16:37 |
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Cheer brilliance!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Interested in my reviews?
You can find them HERE "...He will search until He's found a Way to take the Days..." |
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King of Loss
Prog Reviewer
Joined: April 21 2005 Location: Boston, MA Status: Offline Points: 17052 |
Posted: May 30 2006 at 16:22 |
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Very Creative post that is, ol' man!
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Peter
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator Joined: January 31 2004 Location: Canada Status: Offline Points: 9669 |
Posted: May 30 2006 at 16:13 |
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Yes, or even the more environmentally-friendly Alternate Energy Metal
Sub-sub-genres of this growing sub-genre include: Wind Farm Metal, Tidal Power Metal, Solar Power Metal, Fuel Cell Metal (still in development), Hamster Wheel Metal, Reduce Re-use and Recycle Metal and Garbage Metal (also known as Methane Metal, but not to be confused with the blatantly offensive Fart Metal)
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"And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy! O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!' He chortled in his joy. |
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King of Loss
Prog Reviewer
Joined: April 21 2005 Location: Boston, MA Status: Offline Points: 17052 |
Posted: May 30 2006 at 15:58 |
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Where is Power Metal?
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GoldenSpiral
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator Joined: May 27 2005 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 3839 |
Posted: May 30 2006 at 15:55 |
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@ Peter
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GoldenSpiral
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator Joined: May 27 2005 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 3839 |
Posted: May 30 2006 at 15:53 |
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^we were all nu-metal kids once...
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Peter
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator Joined: January 31 2004 Location: Canada Status: Offline Points: 9669 |
Posted: May 30 2006 at 15:52 |
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Ha!
Then there was this old post of mine. It was original, and made me much beloved in certain quarters, as I recall:
*******************************************************************
Originally posted by James Lee
And just in case anyone is of the opinion that I simply always support anything Peter has to say: I LOVE DEATH METAL! +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Thanks for the support, James, but deaf mental? And whence comes all this roiling anger? (Gun owner too, eh? Poor local cacti!) Anyway, are you sure you like Death Metal? You might be thinking of the wrong sub-category, you know. Perhaps the aural excrement you've managed to convince yourself you "like" is in reality from one of the following, soon to appear here, sub-sub-genres: Plague, Pestilence, Fire and Famine Metal Nasty Genital Rash Metal (not to be confused with): Irritating Embarrassing Scrotal Itch Metal Clueless Amoral Degenerate Metal Useless Parasite Metal Long-haired Layabout Metal Stop Playing X Box and Smoking Dope All Day and GET A GODDAMN JOB Metal Absolute Aural Torture Metal Vee Haff Vays uff Making You Talk Metal Unhealty Obsession With Death and the Occult Metal Troubling History of Bedwetting, Hurting Small Animals and Lighting Fires Metal You're Killing Your Poor Mother Metal Frittering Your Life Away Metal Disappointment To Your Parents Metal How Can You Go Out in Public Looking Like That Metal Way-Too-Fast Guitar-W*nk Metal Popular With Twelve Year Old Boys Metal Longing for Your Lost Youth Metal Putting Off Growing Up and Getting On With It Metal Dutch Rub Metal Chinese Burn Metal Damned Good Hiding Metal Severe Beating Metal Bludgeon Into Unconsciousness But Stop Just Short of Killing Metal Fated to Overdose in a Squalid Stinking Hovel Metal Greasy Tatooed Stringy-Haired Freak Metal Christ -- I'm Forty Years Old, I've Got a Mullet, All My Shirts Have Skulls on Them, and I Still Ride the Bus Metal
and other such cheerful, life-affirming expressions of the irrepressible human spirit.... Edited by Peter Rideout - May 30 2006 at 16:00 |
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"And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy! O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!' He chortled in his joy. |
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Ed_The_Dead
Forum Senior Member
Joined: April 29 2005 Location: Poland Status: Offline Points: 4928 |
Posted: May 30 2006 at 15:49 |
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I kinda like that song... but don't tell anyone, ok?
Used to be a massive nu-metal fan back in the day... Still like early KoRn and disturbed though... ah my little sins
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GoldenSpiral
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator Joined: May 27 2005 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 3839 |
Posted: May 30 2006 at 15:47 |
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It's been so long since I heard the song (thank god) I forgot how it went. thanks! |
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Ed_The_Dead
Forum Senior Member
Joined: April 29 2005 Location: Poland Status: Offline Points: 4928 |
Posted: May 30 2006 at 15:44 |
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Technical Metal
Knight slays dragon using 21 inch b*****d sword delivering 17 precise chops, slashing his bladder, left kidney, removing his abdomen, chopping up his small intestine and performing lobotomy in precisely 29 seconds, left handed. The mind of the princes cannot digest that much sheer perfection in half a minute. Her brain explodes in a shroud of white light.
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Ed_The_Dead
Forum Senior Member
Joined: April 29 2005 Location: Poland Status: Offline Points: 4928 |
Posted: May 30 2006 at 15:37 |
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Now its perfect
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GoldenSpiral
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator Joined: May 27 2005 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 3839 |
Posted: May 30 2006 at 15:36 |
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SLUDGE METAL
Knight fights the dragon in a sticky swamp, the battle moves slower but is just as powerful. Knight kills the princes slowly later on. |
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Royalist
Forum Groupie 
Joined: April 27 2006 Location: Poland Status: Offline Points: 54 |
Posted: May 30 2006 at 15:21 |
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You didn't include some important things:
POWER METAL The mighty knight comes with his power and KiiiiiiiIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIls the draaaaaaaaaaaaagon with his magic swooOoOoOoOoOoOOOOOOOOrd! He celebrates his victory full of power and eternal glory. THRASH METAL The frightened and angry knight doesn't look forward to wasting his life for such a stupid thing like fighting dragons. He gets killed and the princess is a bitch. It's very unfair that poor knights have to die, let alone die for f***** bitches. NEOCLASSICAL METAL Knighst? Dragons? F*** off!! I'm playing a very fast solo! BTW I'm the fastest guitarist in the world! |
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A Young Person's Guide to Metal
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sleeper wrote:
Assuming you actually do derive some twisted gratification from the machine-gun fast, small-fuzzy-animal-slaying guitar, and the jackhammer drums, do you relate to the lyrics, or do you not much care about the words? 