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gdub411
Forum Senior Member
Joined: August 24 2004
Location: United States
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Points: 3484
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Topic: Universal Truths Posted: January 01 2005 at 10:06 |
Peter wrote:
I never tell the truth.

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liar!!
Edited by gdub411
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Peter
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Joined: January 31 2004
Location: Canada
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Posted: January 01 2005 at 03:55 |
I never tell the truth.

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"And, has thou slain the Jabberwock? Come to my arms, my beamish boy! O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!' He chortled in his joy.
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Garion81
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Joined: May 22 2004
Location: So Cal, USA
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Posted: December 31 2004 at 18:59 |
Kansas is alive and well my friend. Just saw them three weeks ago and they still kick ass. They played Magnus Opus and Song for America back to back. Even you would have loved it.
Edited by Garion81
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"What are you going to do when that damn thing rusts?"
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gdub411
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Joined: August 24 2004
Location: United States
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Posted: December 31 2004 at 18:56 |
Garion81 wrote:
101. Phil Collins will be relentlessly bashed over and over in Prog Archives forums. |
and hopefully Kansas as well! 
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Garion81
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Posted: December 31 2004 at 18:55 |
101. Phil Collins will be relentlessly bashed over and over in Prog Archives forums.
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"What are you going to do when that damn thing rusts?"
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Velvetclown
Forum Senior Member
Joined: February 13 2004
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Points: 8548
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Posted: December 31 2004 at 13:58 |
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Dan Bobrowski
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Posted: December 31 2004 at 12:39 |
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Velvetclown
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Joined: February 13 2004
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Points: 8548
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Posted: December 31 2004 at 12:28 |
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Certif1ed
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Posted: December 31 2004 at 11:24 |
  
Ain't that the truth, Jim!
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Velvetclown
Forum Senior Member
Joined: February 13 2004
Status: Offline
Points: 8548
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Posted: December 31 2004 at 09:42 |
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Jim Garten
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Retired Admin & Razor Guru
Joined: February 02 2004
Location: South England
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Points: 14693
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Posted: December 31 2004 at 08:48 |
Then, just as you grin inanely, and say "aaaaahhhhh", a paw shoots out, all claws extended, and you shout "AAAAAAAGGGHHH!!!" instead.
It is for this reason that no matter how cute your cats' real name is, it is always abbreviated to "BAST**D!!!"
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Jon Lord 1941 - 2012
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sigod
Forum Senior Member
Joined: September 17 2004
Location: London
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Points: 2779
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Posted: December 31 2004 at 08:06 |
Certif1ed wrote:
It doesn't matter which side of the closed door the cat is currently looking at - it always wants to be on the other side.
Even if you have a 3-seater sofa, the cat will always find a way to occupy most of it.
No matter what you feed the cat, it will only like half of it.
Stroking a cat is like playing Russian Roulette - you never know if it will purr or strike.
Cats always understand everything you say - except the bits they don't want to understand, such as "No".
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Plus, if you point, they will always look at the end of your finger..
Edited by sigod
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I must remind the right honourable gentleman that a monologue is not a decision.
- Clement Atlee, on Winston Churchill
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nancyrowina
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Joined: December 29 2004
Location: United Kingdom
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Points: 49
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Posted: December 30 2004 at 16:21 |
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Confusion will be my epitaph, as I crawl a cracked and broken path, if we make it we can all sit back and laugh, but I fear tomorrow I'll be crying.
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Certif1ed
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Joined: April 08 2004
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Posted: December 30 2004 at 16:04 |
I haven't tried... wow, my elbow's a funny colour...
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goose
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Joined: June 20 2004
Location: United Kingdom
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Posted: December 29 2004 at 19:38 |
selling_echoes wrote:
If you ask someone if he can lick his elbow, he will say "no" but still try, or at least glance at his elbow.
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I can lick my own elbow (only the right one)! Last summer I met someone else who could too.
Edited by goose
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goose
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Joined: June 20 2004
Location: United Kingdom
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Points: 4097
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Posted: December 29 2004 at 19:36 |
7) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.
10) Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.

but where did 9) go?
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Certif1ed
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Joined: April 08 2004
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Posted: December 29 2004 at 15:04 |
selling_echoes wrote:
more.
People tend to get rather defensive when you talk about their second toe being shorter/longer than their big toe.
Shirts, ironed clean shirts, as dark as they might be, still make a man look girly.
If you tell a woman that women always open their mouth when putting on mascara, she will stop whatever she's doing (unless she is operating heavy machinery / kitchen knifeware) to test herself.
If you ask someone if he can lick his elbow, he will say "no" but still try, or at least glance at his elbow.
No one likes the feeling of wood under wet feet.
The word "lick" sounds dirty under every occasion.
Asking a large woman if she is pregnant is a very big no-no.
Girls remember dates better. And telephone numbers. And anniversary occurings. Even if it's (inserts squeal) our 2nd week!!
An album always sounds better when it's yours.
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Good list, SE!

Another word that always sounds dirty, for your collection, is "moist".
and Another number every boy who ever owned a calulator - or even a steamed window - should know is 7702219.
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selling_echoes
Forum Senior Member
Joined: December 07 2004
Location: Canada
Status: Offline
Points: 113
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Posted: December 29 2004 at 13:00 |
more.
People tend to get rather defensive when you talk about their second toe being shorter/longer than their big toe.
Shirts, ironed clean shirts, as dark as they might be, still make a man look girly.
If you tell a woman that women always open their mouth when putting on
mascara, she will stop whatever she's doing (unless she is operating
heavy machinery / kitchen knifeware) to test herself.
If you ask someone if he can lick his elbow, he will say "no" but still try, or at least glance at his elbow.
No one likes the feeling of wood under wet feet.
The word "lick" sounds dirty under every occasion.
Asking a large woman if she is pregnant is a very big no-no.
Girls remember dates better. And telephone numbers. And anniversary occurings. Even if it's (inserts squeal) our 2nd week!!
An album always sounds better when it's yours.
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Glass-Prison
Forum Senior Member
Joined: February 08 2004
Location: Canada
Status: Offline
Points: 453
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Posted: December 29 2004 at 12:45 |
Jim Garten wrote:
17) The most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is to call your teacher mum or dad.
I once asked my teacher if I could watch TV.... now that's embarrassing
20) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee, flushed half way through and then raced against the flush.
How did you know?!?
36) Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
How true, LOL
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Glass-Prison
Forum Senior Member
Joined: February 08 2004
Location: Canada
Status: Offline
Points: 453
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Posted: December 29 2004 at 12:42 |
That reminds me of that one episode of Star Trek, where Worf somehow kept switching through parallel universes until he broke open the barrier between them, causing thousands of Enterprises to materialize in thin air.... I wonder if something such as that is physically possible?
Needless to say I am a trekkie
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