Something should be done about reviews!

Certif1ed wrote: MikeEnRegalia wrote: Certif1ed wrote: MikeEnRegalia wrote: BTW 2: You recently asked me why I consider [Meshuggah] prog: Well, they created their own unique way of using polyrhythms to simulate odd signatures when in fact almost all of their songs are 4/4. If they did that on one song, it would just be cool, but they are really trying to consistently implement their own style. An individual approach to rhythm is a single progressive aspect, and not enough for prog rock, IMO. I could write an album using Mellotrons on every track - but it might not be prog. That is something I hate abot forum discussions: You give one example to prove a point, and in the reply it is assumed to be the only argument there is. It's pathetic. It's always difficult to interpret what isn't said when there is only type on a page and no body language. However, it was a reasonable assumption on my part, as rhythm is the only standout aspect, so that was the only example that could be used, AFAICS.

You even mentioned several other aspects that might indicate "progressiveness" in your 2 star "I" review ...

Tony R wrote:

EMERSON LAKE & PALMER (ELP) - Works Vol. 1
Review by Karnevil Nein! @ 5:38:47 PM EST, 4/5/2005

  —   I really love this album,from the ham-fisted keyboards to the twee vocals and from every over-blown piece of orchestration right up to the masterpiece of mirth that is Pirates. Long years in the making,due to ego clashes and arguments about makeup,Elton John being part of the recording process then not and finally producer Pete Waterman being replaced by Little Jimmy Osmond,the band finally got this meisterwerk out into the public consciousness.Once out there it was a smash,spending 16 weeks at Number One in Albania and going Quadruple Platinum in Belize. When one listens to Emerson's Piano Concertos one is immediately reminded of Les Dawson's egregious masterpieces of the early 70's.I can think of no higher praise than that. I find that "The Enemy God Dances With The Black Spirits" fills me with nostalgia,or should that be neuralgia? I'm not sure-but I know that Mrs Palmer should have decided against that shiny red kit for young Carl's 6th Birthday.Pirates-what can I say?I nearly choked to death the first time I heard this 13 minute epic.It sounds like the ungodly product of a demonic union between WS Gilbert and The Village People and is breath-taking in its excruciating awfulness and willfull over-ambition.There is nothing like a great Prog Rock Album and this is nothing like a great Prog Rock Album

 

 

Some people!

Yes Tony , that was a memorable review you wrote and send André (KE 9) into a frenzy/fury!!! Still laughing about that one! Funny yet incisive, thoughtfull!

I tried a few months back to outdo you in the absurdity, but it only got discovered today!!!!See below. Your review was the latest sensation within three hours of posting! I'm jealous of your success.

Give this one a shot!!! And see the associated thread!!!!

AREA Caution Radiation Area
Review (Permanent link) by Hugues Chantraine @ 4:28:42 AM EST, 5/3/2005
PROG REVIEWER

 —  Warning!!!! This album is real hazard to anybody’s mental health and not just because of the radiations. Area’s chronological second album (third in the Archives list) is actually a secret document that the left-wing activists they were destined for the Soviet Block!

Forget the titles of the tracks above, as they should read:

1) U235 + Ar + Honey = Pu 240

2) Zyrconium Yaltanium Germanium (Precipita Zero)

3) H + He = Kaboum

4) U238 = Co60 + Cs137 + Fu 2 + n’ + n’

5) Lobotomia

If you think I am kidding you, get the album and you will actually hear what nuclear fission and nuclear fusion sound like, neutrons colliding with Vaginium69 . On the second track , torturing of a Co59 isotope whose nucleus is being ripped apart in order to evolve into Absurdium 89! On track 3 , you can hear a Zircon molecule copulating a Germanium electron on the G-string of the double-bass. How about that Strontium 90 isotope leaving an indelibile mark on contact with the snare drum for the fourth track! Then you shall listen to the last track , head out to CCCP and they will pull out this vital stuff!



Only recommended to terrorist , nuclear physicists and babies under two years of age!

MorgothSunshine wrote: Yes, but is not my fault if in PROGarchives you can find bands like Rhapsody, Nightwish, Meshuggah, Styx...  So everyone could think that those are PROG bands (because are in PROGarchives). A reviewer just rate an album that is on PROGarchives, he just find it here!

IMO the one band that stands out in your list is Meshuggah. IMO they're prog as hell. Styx is not prog at all (IMO), just an AOR band that tries to be prog. But I could be wrong here, as I'm not much into Styx. See how subjective it all is?

MorgothSunshine wrote: And please stop your crusade against DT!  The only reason why there are so many threads and reviews about them is because they're probably the most popular band nowadays...if you don't like their albums just rate them with a bad review...in this way we can see a general opinion!

I think the propper procedure is this:

1. You don't like a band and see that it is listed in the archives.
2. You decide to write a bad review about one of their albums, which has a high average rating in the archives with which you don't agree.
3. This is the hard part - you'll have to listen to that album EXTENSIVELY even though you don't like it. If you've just listened to some samples, you don't really have a basis upon which to write a review. And for a really good review, you'll also have to listen extensively to other albums of the artist AND of the genre.
4. After that, you'll be in a position to write a bad review ... OR you might have changed your mind.

I think that if there was a way to ensure that people really know the music they're reviewing, we would have a lot less problems. That's probably not possible - you can only try to guess from the information given in the review if the reviewer really listened to the album.

goose wrote: Man Overboard wrote: Most metalheads I know value things like melody, songwriting, and creativity over 'heaviness'. Have a little chat with anyone into brutal death metal or raw black metal then

I love classic prog like YES and GENESIS, i love classical composers like Dvorak and Brahms, i love Miles Davis and Sun Ra but i love also bands like Carcass, God Dethroned, Death, Obituary...

The only impotant thing in music is not the genre but the quality of the music...THINK ABOUT IT!

Man Overboard wrote: "Is this CD the best line-up of mucicians in the bands history (Example: this was the first Spock's Beard CD without Neil Morse)"   I'm sure you didn't mean to use that as an example of the best Beard line-up...    Even though I *do* love Feel Euphoria...  Ghosts of Autum is such a beautiful song...

The epic sucks ... but musicianship is great throughout.

Man Overboard wrote: True, true.  Giving it a bit of thought, they aren't as adventurous, but the individual instrument performances overall seem to be of a higher quality, probably because they had more of an opportunity for input...  the drums especially.  Kinda the opposite of what happened with Genesis in that respect really.

I might also be wrong on the epic ... it just seems uninspired and a little forced to me, like they sat down and said "Let's give the fans an epic that sounds like Neal made it".

IMHO, our friends Maan iand others have been doing a very good administrating job, although at times it took them a while to erase some unnecessarily insulting and unabashedly uninformative reviews, but all in all, they've bee ndoing a great job so far.

I agree on that something should be done about lousy/ill-thought/insulting reviews, but I think that THERE SHOULD NOT BE A PRE-CONCEIVED FRAME FOR IT. When we see a not-too-informative but funny and somewhat interesting review, either if it comes with a 1-star or 5-star grade, then we should leave it there (e.g., Chantraine's review about Area's second album, very funny, as deconstructive as the album itself, and somehow, making his negative view clear through all the humour). But if the review is absolutely silly/aggressive, not providing a reason for the happeal (when positive) or merely insulting the band and/or fans in a childish rude, way (when negative), then that review and grade should be erased as soon as possible (anyone remember the "prog is dead, twats" review about Arena's "Contagion"?).

We'll recognize the type of review when it is posted and we read it; before that, I humbly think that it would be "dangerous" or "misleading" to cme up with some sort of detailed structure about what kind of review should stay published in teh Archives or not.

The guidelines for the reviews and ratings are quite clear to me; if some of us don't comply with the guidelines 100 %, it's still OK by me. After all, it is not one or two reviews and grades, but the total of reviews and the comments in them what make the average intelligent prog fan have a better idea of what a particular album is all about.

Regards. 

Snow Dog wrote: Rhayader wrote: Tony R wrote: They should be more humorous This is my favourite one and it was deleted.... EMERSON LAKE & PALMER (ELP) - Works Vol. 1 Review by Karnevil Nein! @ 5:38:47 PM EST, 4/5/2005   —   I really love this album,from the ham-fisted keyboards to the twee vocals and from every over-blown piece of orchestration right up to the masterpiece of mirth that is Pirates. Long years in the making,due to ego clashes and arguments about makeup,Elton John being part of the recording process then not and finally producer Pete Waterman being replaced by Little Jimmy Osmond,the band finally got this meisterwerk out into the public consciousness.Once out there it was a smash,spending 16 weeks at Number One in Albania and going Quadruple Platinum in Belize. When one listens to Emerson's Piano Concertos one is immediately reminded of Les Dawson's egregious masterpieces of the early 70's.I can think of no higher praise than that. I find that "The Enemy God Dances With The Black Spirits" fills me with nostalgia,or should that be neuralgia? I'm not sure-but I know that Mrs Palmer should have decided against that shiny red kit for young Carl's 6th Birthday.Pirates-what can I say?I nearly choked to death the first time I heard this 13 minute epic.It sounds like the ungodly product of a demonic union between WS Gilbert and The Village People and is breath-taking in its excruciating awfulness and willfull over-ambition.There is nothing like a great Prog Rock Album and this is nothing like a great Prog Rock Album           Some people! Have you noticed that there is that exact same review for Rush's Hemispheres, just with the names changed? I was going to point that out too! Posted: 2005 06 July at 1:10pm | IP Logged RUSH - Hemispheres (1978) Review (Permanent link) by Rich @ 2:38:41 AM EST, 7/6/2005   —   I really love this album,from the ham-fisted guitar to the girlie vocals and from the over- blown concept right up to the masterpiece of mirth that is Cignus X-1 Book11. Long years in the making,due to ego clashes and arguments about makeup,Elton John being part of the recording process then not and finally producer Pete Waterman being replaced by Little Jimmy Osmond,the band finally got this meisterwerk out into the public consciousness.Once out there it was a smash,spending 16 weeks at Number One in Albania and going Quadruple Platinum in Belize. When one listens to Geddy Lee's bass one is immediately reminded of Chas n Dave's egregious masterpieces of the early 80's.I can think of no higher praise than that. I find that "La Villa Strangiato" fills me with nostalgia,or should that be neuralgia? I'm not sure but I know that Mrs Peart should have decided against that shiny red kit for young Neal's 6th Birthday.- what can I say? Cignus X-1 Book11 I nearly choked to death the first time I heard this 18 minute epic.It sounds like the ungodly product of a demonic union between WS Gilbert and The Village People and is breath-taking in its excrutiating awfulness and willfull over-ambition.There is nothing like a great Prog Rock Album and this is nothing like a great Prog Rock Album. This one cracked me up. Still, not a touch on Ozalan's Posted: 2005 06 July at 1:10pm | IP Logged Not such a great wit after all it seems!

Plagiarism is the sincerest form of flattery!

I am EXTREMELY flattered,ta RichardH !