A Poem I'm Writing...

Message Topic Search Topic Options Post Reply Create New Topic Printable Version Translate Topic

   I am in the process of writting a gothic-styled long poem, inspired by the works of Poe and other classic writers. Tell me what you think, and where the story might be able to go from here! 

It's a ghost story... enjoy.

Of Love And Spectre
-------------------------
Bemused of paradise
A shroud of false remains
It's been three times, or thrice
A ghost has voiced your name

"In pained lament I knelt
To grieve her fatal dower
In life, cold pain she felt
But in death, a peaceful hour."

"Despite my pain, she doth remain
In death's eternal hour."

E'en in tears I bled hope
A joyous membrance still lingers
But now you're gone, though love lives on
Thus my dream's reduced to cinders

In a hollow crypt you slumbered
Upon a bed, of fresh roses red
And there I prayed: "Harken back the day
When those final words you said..."

"May this dagger be sleek, and life so fleeting
I'll find peace when I am dead."

A wistful "Goodbye," said I,
As I turned to leave the place
But oh, what shock, this morn's o'clock
Would herald your ghostly embrace

With peace naught of mind I fled
Into the foggy hue, far away from 
The place your misfortune had led

'Twas in darkness' company
Was voiced the afterimage
Sculptured so pure, such beauty
As fair as the day you left me

Your lips would part, as were to speak
But naught a sound was made
This same maaiden I stood before
A fatal debt had paid!

The sigh of the street beckoned
Desolationin the air
In dazed trance I drew nerarer
To the yearning gaze of her glare

Upon coming closer, a closer inspect:
hinted was malice in your eyes
There sept an air of injustice
To the cause of your demise

"Fallen love, my silent bride
Questions that surround your demise
Elude and leave me mystified
So tell me, sweet ghost, was it something more
Or merely suicide?"

Her past confession swept aside
There was something more, my heart implied

Motionless, the figure stood
Dressed in the gown in which she was found
Then with instance, she walked a distance
And beckoned me to follow...

Through sullen streets we made our way
With nary a soul to notice
She, my condemned companion
Her movement adopting focus

Reaching the end of the road
We came across a familiar abode.

Her own estate I stood before
Dressed in shrouds of pale moonlight
With fearful haste I approached the door 
Bathing in her hollow sight...

Author	Message Topic Search Topic Options Post Reply Create New Topic Printable Version Translate Topic
Conor Fynes Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Reviewer page Prog Reviewer Joined: February 11 2009 Location: Vancouver, CA Status: Offline Points: 3196	Topic: A Poem I'm Writing... Posted: August 09 2009 at 14:00
	I am in the process of writting a gothic-styled long poem, inspired by the works of Poe and other classic writers. Tell me what you think, and where the story might be able to go from here! It's a ghost story... enjoy. Of Love And Spectre ------------------------- Bemused of paradise A shroud of false remains It's been three times, or thrice A ghost has voiced your name "In pained lament I knelt To grieve her fatal dower In life, cold pain she felt But in death, a peaceful hour." "Despite my pain, she doth remain In death's eternal hour." E'en in tears I bled hope A joyous membrance still lingers But now you're gone, though love lives on Thus my dream's reduced to cinders In a hollow crypt you slumbered Upon a bed, of fresh roses red And there I prayed: "Harken back the day When those final words you said..." "May this dagger be sleek, and life so fleeting I'll find peace when I am dead." A wistful "Goodbye," said I, As I turned to leave the place But oh, what shock, this morn's o'clock Would herald your ghostly embrace With peace naught of mind I fled Into the foggy hue, far away from The place your misfortune had led 'Twas in darkness' company Was voiced the afterimage Sculptured so pure, such beauty As fair as the day you left me Your lips would part, as were to speak But naught a sound was made This same maaiden I stood before A fatal debt had paid! The sigh of the street beckoned Desolationin the air In dazed trance I drew nerarer To the yearning gaze of her glare Upon coming closer, a closer inspect: hinted was malice in your eyes There sept an air of injustice To the cause of your demise "Fallen love, my silent bride Questions that surround your demise Elude and leave me mystified So tell me, sweet ghost, was it something more Or merely suicide?" Her past confession swept aside There was something more, my heart implied Motionless, the figure stood Dressed in the gown in which she was found Then with instance, she walked a distance And beckoned me to follow... Through sullen streets we made our way With nary a soul to notice She, my condemned companion Her movement adopting focus Reaching the end of the road We came across a familiar abode. Her own estate I stood before Dressed in shrouds of pale moonlight With fearful haste I approached the door Bathing in her hollow sight...

Concentration Moon Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Reviewer page Forum Senior Member Joined: August 08 2009 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 137	Posted: August 09 2009 at 15:08
	I like it! Then again, I'm horrible at writing and analyzing poetry. I stick to reading prose.