In Honor of Stupid People . . .
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Topic: In Honor of Stupid People . . .
Posted By: progismylife
Subject: In Honor of Stupid People . . .
Date Posted: December 11 2006 at 15:55
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In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through
stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods. On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping. (Because you know...I do that ALL the time) On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special?) On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be???....) On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's just a suggestion.) On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh!) On Marks &Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought????...) On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me time?) On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (maybe its just me...but uh...i haven't seem to many 5 year olds operating bulldozers lately...) On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (...I'm taking this because???....) On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to what?) On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.) On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash) On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: choose Delta) On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.) On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (Oh my God..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?) |
Replies:
Posted By: mystic fred
Date Posted: December 11 2006 at 15:59
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on a cigarette packet -
"for adult use only"
"smoking causes fatal lung cancer"
"smoking kills"
on a parachute -
"in the event of failure the wearer must return the unit to the factory personally for refund"
shucks, when i die i'll never be able to sue these people..!!
 -------------  Prog Archives Tour Van 
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Posted By: OpethGuitarist
Date Posted: December 11 2006 at 15:59
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hilarious im sure most of these warnings occur in California ------------- back from the dead, i will begin posting reviews again and musing through the forums |
Posted By: Scapler
Date Posted: December 11 2006 at 16:01
 Now that would be something to see, though I am not sure of the effectiveness------------- Bassists are deadly 
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progismylife wrote:Posted By: mystic fred
Date Posted: December 11 2006 at 16:03
i tried to stop a bicycle with my genitals once...  ------------- Prog Archives Tour Van
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Posted By: Scapler
Date Posted: December 11 2006 at 16:05
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Some more I found on a website: Liquid
Plummer Bowl
Fresh Stridex
Foaming Face Wash
Old
Spice Red Zone Deoderant Zantac
75 Christmas
Lights
Earplugs
Pepper
Spray Silk
Soy Milk Rowenta
Iron Nabisco
Easy Cheese
Beach
Ball Bag
of Fritos: Swann
frozen dinners: Hotel
provided shower cap in a box: Marks
& Spencer Bread Pudding: Nytol
sleep aid: String
of Chinese-made Christmas lights: Japanese
food processor: Sainsbury's
peanuts: Korean
kitchen knife: New
Zealand insect spray: Blanket
from taiwan: Cardboard
windshield sun shade: Infant's
bathtub: Package
of Fisherman's Friend throat lozenges:
Bottle
of shampoo for dogs Curling
Iron Hair
Dryer Hair
Dryer Hand-held
Massaging Device Case
of a chocolate CD in a gift basket. A
toilet at a public sports facility Pair
of shin guards made for bicyclists Container
of Underarm Deodorant. Aim-n-Flame
fireplace lighter. Toner
cartridge for a laser printer 13-inch
wheel on a wheelbarrow Can
of self-defense pepper spray. Novelty
rock garden set called "Popcorn Rock" A
frisbee A
toilet bowl cleaning brush. A
birthday card for a 1 year old. Heated
seat cushion
Electric
Cattle Prod Can
of air freshener. Silly
Putty Knife
sharpening stone Deodorant Rat
Poison Portable
stroller Dashboard
of a mail truck Children's
cough medicine Sign
at a railroad station Bottom
of a supermarket dessert box Package
of dice.
Shipment
of hammers Manual
for an SGI computer. Stamped
on the metal barrel of a .22 calibre rifle Electric
Thermometer. Packaging
for a chain saw file, used to sharpen the cutting teeth on the
chain. 6x10
inch inflatable picture frame Box
of bottle rockets Wrapper
of a Fruit Roll-Up snack Box
for a car jack
Small
print from car commercial which shows a car in the ocean Small
print from a car commercial which shows a vehicle "body-surfing"
at a concert Church
Sign Bag
of Fritos Credit
card statement. Laundromat
triple washer Sign
in front of a newly renovated ramp that led to the entrance of
a building Box
of Pills Instructions
on the packaging for a muffin at a 7-11 Can
of black pepper. Bag
of cat biscuits Car
Manual Espresso
Kettle T.V.
manual Label
on a hammer VCR
box Black
rubber fishing worm
Depend
Adult Diapers Furniture
Wipes Stickers
to put on the seat of a potty training toilet Lawnmower Instructions
on the bottom of a grocery store pizza Bottom
of a Coca-Cola bottle Bottle
of bathtub cleaner Container
of lighter fluid Box
of household nails Microwave
popcorn, packaged so that the directions cannot be read unless
you open the plastic and unfold it Drink
bottle label Woolite
carpet cleaner Box
of Frosted Cheerio's Sterno Container
of salt Do not spray into electrical outlet. ------------- Bassists are deadly
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Posted By: Jared
Date Posted: December 11 2006 at 16:08
I'm sure we had one on a Black & Decker Heat Gun: 'Do not use this appliance to dry your hair'
 ------------- Music has always been a matter of energy to me. On some nights I believe that a car with the needle on empty can run 50 more miles if you have the right music very loud on the radio. Hunter S Thompson |
Posted By: Frasse
Date Posted: December 11 2006 at 16:10
HAHAHA, that makes me a proud swede
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Posted By: progismylife
Date Posted: December 11 2006 at 16:25
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The Darwin Awards
(September 2006, Florida) A fearsome mythical giant was felled by a humble slingshot. But a modern speargun vs. an underwater leviathan is another tale altogether, as a Florida man discovered. Outlawed in 1990, hunting Goliath-sized groupers remains surprisingly popular. These fish can weigh hundreds of pounds, yet there are underwater hunters who choose to tether themselves to such muscular sea creatures. However unlikely a pursuit, the poaching of groupers by divers and snorkelers continues, in defiance of both the law and common sense. Of this elite group, our Darwin Award winner distinguished himself yet further by disregarding one essential spearfishing precaution. By embarking on this hunt without a knife to cut himself loose, the "fit and experienced snorkeler" was guaranteeing that his next attack on a giant grouper would be his last. Why anyone thinks it's a good idea to tether yourself to a fish twice your size, I don't know. Some time later, the body of the spearfisher was found pinned to the coral, 17 feet underwater. Three coils of line were wrapped around his wrist, and one very dead grouper was impaled at the other end of the line. In those final hours, the tables were turned, and the fish was given an opportunity to reflect on the experience of "catching a person." |
Posted By: 1800iareyay
Date Posted: December 11 2006 at 17:25
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God my country is dumb
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Posted By: Jim Garten
Date Posted: December 12 2006 at 03:15
You're the one with Borat as his avatar...
 ------------- 
Jon Lord 1941 - 2012 |
Posted By: The Whistler
Date Posted: December 12 2006 at 03:31
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I remember setting up a microwave pizza, then noticing on the box: Cook before serving" Etc, etc. ------------- "There seem to be quite a large percentage of young American boys out there tonight. A long way from home, eh? Well so are we... Gotta stick together." -I. Anderson |
Posted By: el böthy
Date Posted: December 12 2006 at 17:44
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A man was seen drinking a whole bottle of milk in a mall cause the label said "Open here" ...  , now...I dont remember if that was a true or a joke when I was a little boy------------- "You want me to play what, Robert?" 
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Posted By: Garion81
Date Posted: December 12 2006 at 17:55
Why would you say that?
------------- 
"What are you going to do when that damn thing rusts?" |
Posted By: Chus
Date Posted: December 12 2006 at 19:08
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I got one... Tomato paste, ingredients: tomato ------------- Jesus Gabriel |
Posted By: The Lost Chord
Date Posted: December 12 2006 at 19:36
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Heard many times on teh news this occurred because the "baby was cold" and they needed a way to "warm it up"
http://www.cnn.com/2006/LAW/11/28/baby.microwave.ap/index.html now THATS hilarious if true. But sadly, the baby was probably just killed delibrately -------------  "Only the sun knew why"
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Posted By: sleeper
Date Posted: December 12 2006 at 20:10
What part of that disturbing story was hilarious?  ------------- Spending more than I should on Prog since 2005 
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Posted By: alias10mr
Date Posted: December 12 2006 at 20:36
Hate to see those tire tracks... !!!
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Posted By: OpethGuitarist
Date Posted: December 12 2006 at 20:45
California only is the biggest consumer advocacy state in the nation, with additional warnings often for California residents only, that's why ------------- back from the dead, i will begin posting reviews again and musing through the forums |
Posted By: Garion81
Date Posted: December 13 2006 at 13:12
Got news for you pal. These labels are all Federally driven or created to protect the manufacturing company itself. There are very few that are specific to one state. Usually that is driven by another law such as AQMD or other Federal agencies that have imposed regulations on that state. Agency's such as the FDA and FTC require companies to create them.
I work for a Pharmaceutical company in Regulatory Affairs that resides in California I know how much these agencies require and at no time have we had to submit separate labels just for California or with California requirements.
Many of the warning labels come from the fact that there are stupid people from all over the country that actually do these things. They come from law suits trying to sue the companies for things of this nature that is not in line with proper uses of the device/product. It is a protection for the company against this kind of abuse. -------------
"What are you going to do when that damn thing rusts?" |
Posted By: JJLehto
Date Posted: December 13 2006 at 14:54
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Kinda like the McDonals guy who sued, and won, becase he spilled hot coffee and it never said it was hot. So now they have to say WARNING: contents may be hot or fireworks that say dont use inside becuase someone did once... My favorite, once I was sitting around eating peanuts fro mone of those tins. On the side it said: May contain trace amount of nuts I found that odd for a few reasons... |
Posted By: OpethGuitarist
Date Posted: December 13 2006 at 15:26
I realize that you are trying to protect your state (and in this case part of your job), but don't try and look past the many other factors. Yes, stupid people are everywhere, and there are no more percentage wise in California than in Texas, Nebraska, or any other state. The warning labels are indeed to prevent frivolous lawsuits. However, don't deny the fact that California has many labels specifically for them, and not only that, has so in areas of job (often you are asked specifically if you will be working in California - usually along with about 4 other states). The other day I saw an item in a retail store that had specific directions for residents of California (i believe it was a set of batteries and it's danger to pregnant mothers, or something like that). Don't make it into an everyone is guilty argument. We know everyone out there has some problems. We also know that a lot of consumer advocacy comes from California, good or bad. Also, I'd appreciate it if I wasn't sarcastically addressed - the whole "pal" thing - doesn't show much sincerity. ------------- back from the dead, i will begin posting reviews again and musing through the forums |
Posted By: Tony R
Date Posted: December 13 2006 at 18:10
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It's not for me to tell someone whether or not they should take offence.....
...but OG and Garion............for gawd's sake!!! Talk about nitpickingly pedantic. 
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Posted By: OpethGuitarist
Date Posted: December 13 2006 at 18:35
well I made a comment in jest and he wanted to expound upon it, so there you have it ------------- back from the dead, i will begin posting reviews again and musing through the forums |
Posted By: Tony R
Date Posted: December 13 2006 at 18:39
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Posted By: OpethGuitarist
Date Posted: December 13 2006 at 18:44
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why arent you amused Tony? here this should help you laugh http://www.break.com/index/robin_williams_on_golf.html - http://www.break.com/index/robin_williams_on_golf.html  ------------- back from the dead, i will begin posting reviews again and musing through the forums |
Posted By: markosherrera
Date Posted: June 23 2007 at 16:29
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Many stores,banks said in the door :ENTER OPEN..........they want that the people walk with the legs and arms open like a cowboy after ride the horse and with hemorroids
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Posted By: The T
Date Posted: June 23 2007 at 20:29
This is not proof of stupidity but is a stupid thing by itself... Have you read in crackers or snacks labels? You can read the NUTRITION FACTS part and you'll find things like "serving size: THREE pretzels" or things like that..... Man! Do they really think ANYBODY will open a gigantic bag of snacks to EAT THREE!?!?!?! Has anybody EVER followed those nutritional directions?  ------------- 
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Posted By: Tony R
Date Posted: June 23 2007 at 20:38
I once had to visit the hospital after following the instructions on a tinned steamed pudding, they read: stand in very hot water for 10 minutes before opening...so I did...  |
Posted By: The T
Date Posted: June 23 2007 at 20:44
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Posted By: Dean
Date Posted: June 23 2007 at 21:14
 ------------- What? |
Posted By: VanderGraafKommandöh
Date Posted: June 23 2007 at 21:52
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Wow, that's so true! -------------   
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