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Easy Livin
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator / Retired Admin
Joined: February 21 2004
Location: Scotland
Status: Offline
Points: 15585
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Posted: November 17 2005 at 08:50 |
I presume some of these are taken from the "Inappropriate reviews" thread. I don' think they are there any more...are they?
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Bj-1
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: June 04 2005
Location: No(r)Way
Status: Offline
Points: 31157
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Posted: November 17 2005 at 08:38 |
maidenrulez wrote:
GENESIS - Foxtrot Review by Breed Lover @ 3:13:58 PM EST, 3/30/2005
![0 stars](http://www.progarchives.com/Progressive_rock_discography_images/0stars.gif) — I hate this [%*!#]ing album it sucks big time, Peter Gabriel is a [%*!#]ing dickhead and Phil Collins is his gay lover all GENESIS SUCKS I repeat SUCKS. avoid this piece of [&*!#] and all GENESIS albums Watchers of the Skies is Crap so, piss on my copy , im going to play slipknot they are cool
YES - Close to the Edge Review by Breed Lover @ 3:29:09 PM EST, 3/30/2005
![0 stars](http://www.progarchives.com/Progressive_rock_discography_images/0stars.gif) — No this album is [&*!#] everybody knowz thiz, i love slipknot and YES SUCKS!!!!!! save your money because this album is crap and i love rugby prog rock stinks but i do like some but i hate yes , a squeeky bloke, a gingerhead woman and a tall gay bass player whatever next a sexy blonde on saxophone, please remove them
KING CRIMSON In the Court of the Crimson King Review by Breed Lover @ 10:14:28 AM EST, 12/9/2003
![0 stars](http://www.progarchives.com/Progressive_rock_discography_images/0stars.gif) — well jesus christ o mighty where do i start here, yes it's one of them [%*!#]ing crap pieces of [&*!#], robert fripp is a c**t and he sucks dildos all day long and greg lake bends over for michael giles, yes sounds like king crimson, well they suck and this album is crap, slipknot is class 5 stars for all their album, piss on this cd, snap it up, throw it in the bin and shove it up your minge and save your money, king crimson sucks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
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I laughed my ass off when i read those reviews for the first time ![](smileys/smiley36.gif)
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RIO/AVANT/ZEUHL - The best thing you can get with yer pants on! EXERIOR Experimental tech/death/progmetal from Norway!
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Suki
Forum Senior Member
Joined: September 21 2005
Location: Israel
Status: Offline
Points: 134
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Posted: November 17 2005 at 07:36 |
The Robert le Plant-Jon Anderson comparison review is quite funny..
The reviewer hates queers yet at the same time wants Robert Plant to penetrate him.. Man..
Besides that, it seems that Genesis is quite popular in the bad reviews section..
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Lindsay Lohan
Forum Senior Member
Joined: May 25 2005
Location: Norway
Status: Offline
Points: 3254
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Posted: November 17 2005 at 05:51 |
Andrea Cortese wrote:
maidenrulez wrote:
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YES - Close to the Edge (1972) Review by João Matos @ 3:44:01 PM EST, 5/6/2005
![0 stars](http://www.progarchives.com/Progressive_rock_discography_images/0stars.gif) — Buy the holly mother of god... How can this [&*!#] be in first place? The album is so bad BUT SO BAD... the vocalist is a gay... The songs are stupid, and the letters don´t make any sense... Yes is definitly the worst band of progressive metal, they not even are progressive metal, maybe they are some sort of jazz funky, BUT THEIR NOT DEFINITLY PROGRESSIVE METAL... PLEASE, TAKE THIS sh*t OF THE FIRST PLACE AND PUT DREAM THEATER - IMAGES AND WORDS... THIS ALBUM SUCKS A LOTTTTTTTTTTT |
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I agree with him!!!!
In fact Yes are not a good Progressive METAL band!!!![](smileys/smiley36.gif) ![](smileys/smiley36.gif)
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Yep they are not PROGRESSIVE METAL..they are jazz funky ![](smileys/smiley36.gif)
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Andrea Cortese
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: September 05 2005
Status: Offline
Points: 4411
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Posted: November 17 2005 at 05:49 |
maidenrulez wrote:
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YES - Close to the Edge (1972) Review by João Matos @ 3:44:01 PM EST, 5/6/2005
![0 stars](http://www.progarchives.com/Progressive_rock_discography_images/0stars.gif) — Buy the holly mother of god... How can this [&*!#] be in first place? The album is so bad BUT SO BAD... the vocalist is a gay... The songs are stupid, and the letters don´t make any sense... Yes is definitly the worst band of progressive metal, they not even are progressive metal, maybe they are some sort of jazz funky, BUT THEIR NOT DEFINITLY PROGRESSIVE METAL... PLEASE, TAKE THIS sh*t OF THE FIRST PLACE AND PUT DREAM THEATER - IMAGES AND WORDS... THIS ALBUM SUCKS A LOTTTTTTTTTTT |
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I agree with him!!!!
In fact Yes are not a good Progressive METAL band!!!![](smileys/smiley36.gif) ![](smileys/smiley36.gif)
Edited by Andrea Cortese
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Manunkind
Forum Senior Member
Joined: February 02 2005
Location: Poland
Status: Offline
Points: 2373
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Posted: November 17 2005 at 05:42 |
Oh yeah, the Bill Bruford - stalker... this guy's reviews were a classic a few months ago
EDIT: I thought Breed Lover's reviews had been deleted![](smileys/smiley5.gif) ![](smileys/smiley11.gif)
Edited by Manunkind
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"In war there is no time to teach or learn Zen. Carry a strong stick. Bash your attackers." - Zen Master Ikkyu Sojun
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Lindsay Lohan
Forum Senior Member
Joined: May 25 2005
Location: Norway
Status: Offline
Points: 3254
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Posted: November 17 2005 at 05:41 |
GENESIS - Foxtrot Review by Breed Lover @ 3:13:58 PM EST, 3/30/2005
![0 stars](http://www.progarchives.com/Progressive_rock_discography_images/0stars.gif) — I hate this [%*!#]ing album it sucks big time, Peter Gabriel is a [%*!#]ing dickhead and Phil Collins is his gay lover all GENESIS SUCKS I repeat SUCKS. avoid this piece of [&*!#] and all GENESIS albums Watchers of the Skies is Crap so, piss on my copy , im going to play slipknot they are cool
YES - Close to the Edge Review by Breed Lover @ 3:29:09 PM EST, 3/30/2005
![0 stars](http://www.progarchives.com/Progressive_rock_discography_images/0stars.gif) — No this album is [&*!#] everybody knowz thiz, i love slipknot and YES SUCKS!!!!!! save your money because this album is crap and i love rugby prog rock stinks but i do like some but i hate yes , a squeeky bloke, a gingerhead woman and a tall gay bass player whatever next a sexy blonde on saxophone, please remove them
KING CRIMSON In the Court of the Crimson King Review by Breed Lover @ 10:14:28 AM EST, 12/9/2003
![0 stars](http://www.progarchives.com/Progressive_rock_discography_images/0stars.gif) — well jesus christ o mighty where do i start here, yes it's one of them [%*!#]ing crap pieces of [&*!#], robert fripp is a c**t and he sucks dildos all day long and greg lake bends over for michael giles, yes sounds like king crimson, well they suck and this album is crap, slipknot is class 5 stars for all their album, piss on this cd, snap it up, throw it in the bin and shove it up your minge and save your money, king crimson sucks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
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Lindsay Lohan
Forum Senior Member
Joined: May 25 2005
Location: Norway
Status: Offline
Points: 3254
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Posted: November 17 2005 at 05:39 |
My favourite reviewer:
![](smileys/smiley4.gif)
EMERSON LAKE & PALMER (ELP) - Love Beach Review by Alex Bruford @ 1:51:00 PM EST, 1/30/2005
![5 stars](http://www.progarchives.com/Progressive_rock_discography_images/5stars.gif) — ATTENTION- EMERSON LAKE AND PALMER AND GENESIS ARE THE GREATEST BANDS ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH. PLEASE PUT THIS ALBUM IN YOUR STEREO RIGHT NOW AND TURN THE BASS-LEVEL A BIT HIGHER AND PLAY AT FULL VOLUME . THIS ALBUM IS EXECELENT . IT CONTAINS BEAUTIFULL ROLAND GUITAR SYNTHESIZER AND CLASSICAL- ELEMENTS. IN FACT , LOVE BEACH IS THERE BEST ALBUM EVER .DON'T EVER CRITISIZE THE MECHNICAL ASPECTS OF THE MUSIC. TONY BANKS, AND E.L.P. NEVER PUT OUT BAD ALBUMS . LOVE BEACH AWESOME AND BRILLIANT.
GENESIS - Second Out Review by John DeAndres @ 3:47:57 PM EST, 2/7/2005
![5 stars](http://www.progarchives.com/Progressive_rock_discography_images/5stars.gif) — TONY BANKS AND BILL BRUFORD ARE A DRIVING MUSICAL FORCE . IT WAS LOVELY THE WAY BILL BRUFORD WOULD TUNE HIS INCREDIBLE DRUM-KIT.THEY SHOULD REALLY FEATURE BILL BRUFORD ON DRUMS ONCE AGAIN IN THE FUTURE. I HOPE THEY CONSIDER IT BECAUSE BILL HAS A VERY UNIQUE SOUND.
GENESIS - Live - The Way We Walk Volume Two - The Longs Review by kim shwartz @ 3:56:59 PM EST, 2/6/2005
![5 stars](http://www.progarchives.com/Progressive_rock_discography_images/5stars.gif) — I GOT MY MONEY'S WORTH. THE ALBUM IS FUN, FUN, FUN IN THE SUN .IT'S A SHAME THAT BILL BRUFORD COULD NOT CONTINUE TO TOUR WITH THIS BAND. IT WAS LOVELY THE WAY HE WOULD TUNE HIS INCREDIBLE DRUM -KIT. BILL BRUFORD REALLY DID HELP GENESIS. HOPEFULLY ONE DAY BILL CAN RETURN.
GENESIS - Three Sides Live Review by Dan DeCarlo @ 5:47:22 PM EST, 2/8/2005
![5 stars](http://www.progarchives.com/Progressive_rock_discography_images/5stars.gif) — TONY BANKS AND BILL BRUFORD ARE A DRIVING MUSICAL-FORCE . AS YOU KNOW , BILL WAS WITH GENESIS FOR A SHORT TIME . I CERTAINLY HOPE THAT ONE DAY, THE MASSES OF PEOPLE WOULD BE ABLE TO SEE BILL BRUFORD IN HIS ROLE WITHIN THIS BAND . APPARENTLY HE'S ONLY FEATURED ON 2 TRACKS . 3-SIDES-LIVE IS A PLUS. ENJOY IT , AND HAVE A GOOD TIME , FOR LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO WASTE-AWAY. THANK- YOU AND HAVE A GOOD DAY.
BANKS, TONY - The Fugitive Review by Alex Corona @ 1:49:57 PM EST, 2/11/2005
![5 stars](http://www.progarchives.com/Progressive_rock_discography_images/5stars.gif) — ATTENTION- I HAVE 3 HEROS - EVEL KNIEVEL , BILL BRUFORD , AND TONY BANKS . I AM A DAREDEVIL BUT I DO MOST OF MY JUMPS ON A BICYCLE, SIMPLY BECAUSE I CAN'T AFFORD A MOTORCYCLE . I ALSO LIKE ''FISH,N,CHIPS'', GERMAN BEER, AND MUSIC . THIS ALBUM IS NO-1 . GIVEN THE CHANCE AND CIRCUMSTANCES I REALLY THINK THAT BILL BRUFORD COULD HAVE SURELY ADDED GREAT DRUMMING TO THIS ALBUM. SUPER-TECHNICAL HEROS AND STRONG RELIABLE EQUIPMENT= 2 ELEMENTS .
TONY BANKS Seven (A suite for orchestra) Review by Alex Corona @ 4:54:10 PM EST, 2/10/2005
![5 stars](http://www.progarchives.com/Progressive_rock_discography_images/5stars.gif) — FINALLY WE GET TO HEAR QUALITY INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC AND QUALITY SOUND. YOU GET YOUR MONEY'S WORTH MY FRIEND. PERHAPS ONE DAY IN THE FUTURE WE CAN BE LUCKY ENOUGH TO HEAR AND SEE MORE ORCHESTRA WORKS . I WOULD STRONGLY RECOMEND TONY AND COMPANY TO SOMEHOW FEATURE BILL BRUFORD ON DRUMS WITHIN THE ORCHESTRA . THIS IS A PLUS .
BILL BRUFORD'S EARTHWORKS - Random Acts of HappinessReview by Dale Corona @ 3:29:28 PM EST, 2/16/2005
![5 stars](http://www.progarchives.com/Progressive_rock_discography_images/5stars.gif) — ATTENTION- I HAVE 3 HEROS,,,EVEL KNIEVEL, TONY BANKS AND BILL BRUFORD .THIS ALBUM IS GREAT BUT WHATS MORE IMPORTANT, IS I THINK THAT BILL SHOULD BE WORKING IN OTHER QUARTERS WITH TONY BANKS DRUMMING WITHIN A ORCHESTRAL- PROJECT OR EVEN PLAYING WITH GENESIS AGAIN IF AND WHEN THEY MAKE A COMEBACK.......THINK ABOUT IT IN A SUPERTECHNICAL CONTEXT. IT CAN BE A PLUS.
I LOOOVE THIS GUY ![](smileys/smiley4.gif)
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avestin
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: September 18 2005
Status: Offline
Points: 12625
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Posted: November 17 2005 at 05:33 |
Even though it is sad, it made my day a bit brighter there for a second, I actually felt my lips curve into a small grin. But then it was gone... Thanks for this amusing/sad thread. (I remember there was another a while ago with really hilarious reviewes, but it went a bit too far)
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Manunkind
Forum Senior Member
Joined: February 02 2005
Location: Poland
Status: Offline
Points: 2373
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Posted: November 17 2005 at 05:33 |
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"In war there is no time to teach or learn Zen. Carry a strong stick. Bash your attackers." - Zen Master Ikkyu Sojun
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Norbert
Forum Senior Member
Joined: October 20 2005
Location: Hungary
Status: Offline
Points: 2506
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Posted: November 17 2005 at 05:24 |
Robert Le Plant, Joao Matos ![](smileys/smiley21.gif)
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Blacksword
Prog Reviewer
Joined: June 22 2004
Location: England
Status: Offline
Points: 16130
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Posted: November 17 2005 at 05:15 |
Robert Le Plants review of Relayer is beyond a joke.
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Ultimately bored by endless ecstasy!
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NutterAlert
Forum Senior Member
Joined: June 07 2005
Location: In transition
Status: Offline
Points: 2807
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Posted: November 17 2005 at 05:13 |
ZAUBER Aliens Review by Kathleen Zien @ 2:42:30 PM EST, 10/28/2004
![5 stars](http://www.progarchives.com/Progressive_rock_discography_images/5stars.gif) — This album was totally unrealistic, yet remarkably solid. As a person who has been through an Alien Abduction, I can attest that the Aliens in the songs were right on par. I relived the experience stereophonically. Real aliens make you drink mind bacteria that takes over your brain. This album will take over your brain. I think the singer was appropriate, but the composition of the album was what was amazing. Kathleen Zien Ohio
quite brilliant ![](smileys/smiley32.gif)
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Proud to be an un-banned member since 2005
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Moogtron III
Prog Reviewer
Joined: April 26 2005
Location: Belgium
Status: Offline
Points: 10616
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Posted: November 17 2005 at 05:10 |
Fantastic! It's even more funny when they can't spell, and can't stay away FROM THE CAPS LOCK BUTTON ![](http://www.progarchives.com/forum/smileys/smiley36.gif)
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sleeper
Prog Reviewer
Joined: October 09 2005
Location: Entropia
Status: Offline
Points: 16449
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Posted: November 17 2005 at 04:53 |
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Spending more than I should on Prog since 2005
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Lindsay Lohan
Forum Senior Member
Joined: May 25 2005
Location: Norway
Status: Offline
Points: 3254
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Posted: November 17 2005 at 04:38 |
YES - Relayer Review by Robert le Plant @ 12:52:11 AM EST, 4/5/2005
![0 stars](http://www.progarchives.com/Progressive_rock_discography_images/0stars.gif) — Man, what the hell is the matter with Jon Anderson! This album prove sht at homosexuals can't sing or write music! Clearly! I mean klisten ot his whiney woman voice, sounds like he's trying to sing like Robert Plant, a cleatrly superior vocalist, but no queer can ever sing like Robert Plant, or stand on stage with such manly integrity. Sweat wouldn't look good on Jon Anderson's gay Chest, only that perfectly fur covered man chest of Robert Plant. Jon Anderson's ugly faggy monkey face is nothing like that perfectly squared Jaw of Robert Plant, and his beutiful thinking eyes penetrate in ways Jon Anderson's never could, and that's not the only thing you want Robert Plant ot penetr... Umm, so Relayer is a terrible album Stay away, uless you like ugly Gay people who can't sing!
ZAUBER Aliens Review by Kathleen Zien @ 2:42:30 PM EST, 10/28/2004
![5 stars](http://www.progarchives.com/Progressive_rock_discography_images/5stars.gif) — This album was totally unrealistic, yet remarkably solid. As a person who has been through an Alien Abduction, I can attest that the Aliens in the songs were right on par. I relived the experience stereophonically. Real aliens make you drink mind bacteria that takes over your brain. This album will take over your brain. I think the singer was appropriate, but the composition of the album was what was amazing. Kathleen Zien Ohio
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Lindsay Lohan
Forum Senior Member
Joined: May 25 2005
Location: Norway
Status: Offline
Points: 3254
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Posted: November 17 2005 at 04:28 |
Symphonic Prog (Studio Album, 1970)
GENESIS "Trespass" Review (Permanent link) by omppuz Posted 12:42:06 PM EST, 11/15/2005
Most overrated masterpiece of progressive rock! I think this album is at the same line as Close to the edge, which is overrated but still a great album. What comes to the songs. They all are a bit slow compared to later genesis' agressive style. Just listen to the songs more. the only problem you will face is the quality.
I always found this rather amusing ![](smileys/smiley17.gif)
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Phil
Forum Senior Member
Joined: June 17 2005
Location: United Kingdom
Status: Offline
Points: 1881
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Posted: November 17 2005 at 04:26 |
Yeah its a really grood review. Chillax, baby!
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Moogtron III
Prog Reviewer
Joined: April 26 2005
Location: Belgium
Status: Offline
Points: 10616
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Posted: November 17 2005 at 04:22 |
It's very grood
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Legoman
Forum Senior Member
Joined: October 21 2005
Status: Offline
Points: 306
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Posted: November 17 2005 at 01:17 |
Hahahha. Yeah. That review made me almost write one for that album also. MAybe I will do that now anyway...
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