Live together or marry first?

Personally, I think marriage is rather silly. However, I do understand why people marry. Still, I think it's fine if a couple lives together before they marry. I really see nothing wrong with it.

Mr ProgFreak wrote: @harmonium.ro: Yes, but married couples get tax benefits on top of the benefits for the children. IMO it would be better to abolish the tax benefits for married couples and instead focus on the raising children part - preferably also including some form of training courses for parenting which the parents have to participate in in order to receive the benefits.

I think that marriage is encouraged this way exactly because it's traditionally considered a fundamental step towards raising a family; I don't think there are states encouraging marriage just for itself.

I agree that this kind of discrimination probably relies on the older perception that marriage is the way to raise a family and people who don't marry are probably not interested in family life, which is not true anymore. The way France addapted to the new times was to "legalize" non-marriage; you can register a concubinaje and you get the same legal status to that of a marriage (including the benefits). It is only a half-measure, but it does work well; it, combined with the benefits offered for having children, makes France have the second highest birth rate in the EU (why does Germany have the lowest birth rate in the EU? )

Mr ProgFreak wrote: ^ Well, in countries which are suffering from overpopulation that might be the solution. @harmonium.ro: Yes, but married couples get tax benefits on top of the benefits for the children. IMO it would be better to abolish the tax benefits for married couples and instead focus on the raising children part - preferably also including some form of training courses for parenting which the parents have to participate in in order to receive the benefits.

Demographically each country has an overpopulation "problem" in some social stratas and an underpopulation "problem" in others - I think that is the natural order of things and not something that should be subject to tax benefits. Rewarding breading, or punishing those that exercises (birth) control, doesn't solve the problem or create it. 

mystic fred wrote: Living together before being married is like opening all your Christmas presents in November....     .

Marriage first.  No surprise from me.

But I believe in divorce even less than I do cohabitation before marriage.

Mr ProgFreak wrote: Personally I think that people should get tax benefits for raising children - not for living together, marriage or not.

But they are, in most countries that I know. Isn't this happening in Germany too?

Commitment and Compromise - the paper work is irrelevant.

progkidjoel wrote: JJLehto wrote: I dont think marriage should be scrapped, again whatever works for ya, but I don't see it as a sacred thing. I do think its a good, and would be nice. But if I ended up just living with someone without marriage, whatevs Pretty much exactly what I think.

Way I see it. I would love it if I could spend the rest of my life with some I love.
Whether its made "official" with marriage or we just live together, doesn't mean much to me.

Marriage is archaic.

I dont think marriage should be scrapped, again whatever works for ya, but I don't see it as a sacred thing.
I do think its a good, and would be nice.

But if I ended up just living with someone without marriage, whatevs

Gender roles were very clearly defined for most of human history. Our roles in life have become so complex in comparison it is fairly irresponsible to not at least have some trial time playing house to evaluate domestic compatibility. Many fail to understand the difference between interdependency and codependency.  A successful relationship requires interdependency, which is impossible without an understanding of which partner will take on the various roles in the household. Something as simple as hating to take out the garbage can send the relationship into a tailspin. For the love of god, don't get married until you know that at least one of you is willing to take out the garbage.