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Topic ClosedHow good a cook are you?

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Poll Question: How would you rate your cooking ability?
Poll Choice Votes Poll Statistics
1 [2.78%]
0 [0.00%]
17 [47.22%]
8 [22.22%]
2 [5.56%]
0 [0.00%]
4 [11.11%]
4 [11.11%]
This topic is closed, no new votes accepted

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Jim Garten View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 06 2011 at 06:40
Originally posted by Dean Dean wrote:

Originally posted by Jim Garten Jim Garten wrote:

Originally posted by Dean Dean wrote:

The only cooking I'm not a fan of is grilling or barbeque - that's not cooking in my estimation, that's a revival of the viking practice of outdoor cremation
Especially when a novice BBQ cook decides to do chicken without pre cooking it first, so you get that wonderful delicacy, 'double crunch chicken' (ie burnt on the outside & still frozen inside) No, that wasn't me...

Sausages are another - carbonated on the outside - still squealing on the inside (the tapeworm lava, not the pig meat). Boil the buggers for 10 minutes on the £750 gas/electric stove in the kitchen before even attempting to set fire to them on an open fire.


Burgers!

Made from decent minced beef, onions, herbs, spices, free range egg for binding (the burgers, not.... well, you know...), maybe a dash of tabasco or some finely shredded naga if you feel adventurous - absolutely glorious... until given to the guy wearing an 'amusing' pinny, standing by an open fire pit (with the regulation 10 years worth of accumulated carbon deposits on the grill) in your garden, where he will then convert such succulent fare to a piece of tasteless cardboard, to be served with some horribly foreshortened greenery which at some point in the dim and distant past, went under the name 'salad' (mayonnaise & cigarette ash dressing optional)... ... probably in the rain.

Civilised man built kitchens inside his dwellings for a reason, I believe...

Jon Lord 1941 - 2012
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 06 2011 at 07:38
I occasionally succeed in frying eggs.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 06 2011 at 07:41
Never even gave it a shot.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 06 2011 at 09:29
Originally posted by Vompatti Vompatti wrote:

I occasionally succeed in frying eggs.

Me too. Cool
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 06 2011 at 09:32
I've not yet burned down the house. 
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 06 2011 at 10:03
Pretty good actualy - growing up with the northern kitchen, combined with quite a bit of travling, made me love cooking aprox 15 years back. So now im able to make some improvised dinnerscombining a bit of everything.
Havent had many complaints
Prog is whatevey you want it to be. So dont diss other peoples prog, and they wont diss yours
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 06 2011 at 10:48
I don't cook, yet.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 06 2011 at 13:25
Third option. I like to cook, my wife likes to do the dishes. Perfect match!
He say nothing is quite what it seems;
I say nothing is nothing
(Peter Hammill)
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 06 2011 at 13:40
Ping
Help me I'm falling!
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 06 2011 at 13:40
Originally posted by Jim Garten Jim Garten wrote:

Originally posted by Dean Dean wrote:

Originally posted by Jim Garten Jim Garten wrote:

Originally posted by Dean Dean wrote:

The only cooking I'm not a fan of is grilling or barbeque - that's not cooking in my estimation, that's a revival of the viking practice of outdoor cremation
Especially when a novice BBQ cook decides to do chicken without pre cooking it first, so you get that wonderful delicacy, 'double crunch chicken' (ie burnt on the outside & still frozen inside) No, that wasn't me...

Sausages are another - carbonated on the outside - still squealing on the inside (the tapeworm lava, not the pig meat). Boil the buggers for 10 minutes on the £750 gas/electric stove in the kitchen before even attempting to set fire to them on an open fire.


Burgers!

Made from decent minced beef, onions, herbs, spices, free range egg for binding (the burgers, not.... well, you know...), maybe a dash of tabasco or some finely shredded naga if you feel adventurous - absolutely glorious... until given to the guy wearing an 'amusing' pinny, standing by an open fire pit (with the regulation 10 years worth of accumulated carbon deposits on the grill) in your garden, where he will then convert such succulent fare to a piece of tasteless cardboard, to be served with some horribly foreshortened greenery which at some point in the dim and distant past, went under the name 'salad' (mayonnaise & cigarette ash dressing optional)... ... probably in the rain.

Civilised man built kitchens inside his dwellings for a reason, I believe...

Talk like this makes me glad we declared independence.  Ermm
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 06 2011 at 13:45
Originally posted by Padraic Padraic wrote:

Originally posted by Jim Garten Jim Garten wrote:

Originally posted by Dean Dean wrote:

Originally posted by Jim Garten Jim Garten wrote:

Originally posted by Dean Dean wrote:

The only cooking I'm not a fan of is grilling or barbeque - that's not cooking in my estimation, that's a revival of the viking practice of outdoor cremation
Especially when a novice BBQ cook decides to do chicken without pre cooking it first, so you get that wonderful delicacy, 'double crunch chicken' (ie burnt on the outside & still frozen inside) No, that wasn't me...

Sausages are another - carbonated on the outside - still squealing on the inside (the tapeworm lava, not the pig meat). Boil the buggers for 10 minutes on the £750 gas/electric stove in the kitchen before even attempting to set fire to them on an open fire.


Burgers!

Made from decent minced beef, onions, herbs, spices, free range egg for binding (the burgers, not.... well, you know...), maybe a dash of tabasco or some finely shredded naga if you feel adventurous - absolutely glorious... until given to the guy wearing an 'amusing' pinny, standing by an open fire pit (with the regulation 10 years worth of accumulated carbon deposits on the grill) in your garden, where he will then convert such succulent fare to a piece of tasteless cardboard, to be served with some horribly foreshortened greenery which at some point in the dim and distant past, went under the name 'salad' (mayonnaise & cigarette ash dressing optional)... ... probably in the rain.

Civilised man built kitchens inside his dwellings for a reason, I believe...

Talk like this makes me glad we declared independence.  Ermm
You should have waited, wave a half-cooked "wiener" in a soggy bun covered in some yellow slop that is vaguely related to mustard under our noses and we'd have cast you adrift sooner rather than later. Tongue
What?
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 06 2011 at 14:14
Originally posted by Dean Dean wrote:

Originally posted by Padraic Padraic wrote:

Originally posted by Jim Garten Jim Garten wrote:

Originally posted by Dean Dean wrote:

Originally posted by Jim Garten Jim Garten wrote:

Originally posted by Dean Dean wrote:

The only cooking I'm not a fan of is grilling or barbeque - that's not cooking in my estimation, that's a revival of the viking practice of outdoor cremation
Especially when a novice BBQ cook decides to do chicken without pre cooking it first, so you get that wonderful delicacy, 'double crunch chicken' (ie burnt on the outside & still frozen inside) No, that wasn't me...

Sausages are another - carbonated on the outside - still squealing on the inside (the tapeworm lava, not the pig meat). Boil the buggers for 10 minutes on the £750 gas/electric stove in the kitchen before even attempting to set fire to them on an open fire.


Burgers!

Made from decent minced beef, onions, herbs, spices, free range egg for binding (the burgers, not.... well, you know...), maybe a dash of tabasco or some finely shredded naga if you feel adventurous - absolutely glorious... until given to the guy wearing an 'amusing' pinny, standing by an open fire pit (with the regulation 10 years worth of accumulated carbon deposits on the grill) in your garden, where he will then convert such succulent fare to a piece of tasteless cardboard, to be served with some horribly foreshortened greenery which at some point in the dim and distant past, went under the name 'salad' (mayonnaise & cigarette ash dressing optional)... ... probably in the rain.

Civilised man built kitchens inside his dwellings for a reason, I believe...

Talk like this makes me glad we declared independence.  Ermm
You should have waited, wave a half-cooked "wiener" in a soggy bun covered in some yellow slop that is vaguely related to mustard under our noses and we'd have cast you adrift sooner rather than later. Tongue

All I'm saying is when I burn toast I don't blame the toaster.  Wink
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 06 2011 at 14:16
I boil water like no other...
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 06 2011 at 14:25
I rate myself a PFM. Tongue



Released date are often when it it impacted you but recorded dates are when it really happened...

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 06 2011 at 14:36
Originally posted by Padraic Padraic wrote:

Originally posted by Dean Dean wrote:

Originally posted by Padraic Padraic wrote:

Originally posted by Jim Garten Jim Garten wrote:

Originally posted by Dean Dean wrote:

Originally posted by Jim Garten Jim Garten wrote:

Originally posted by Dean Dean wrote:

The only cooking I'm not a fan of is grilling or barbeque - that's not cooking in my estimation, that's a revival of the viking practice of outdoor cremation
Especially when a novice BBQ cook decides to do chicken without pre cooking it first, so you get that wonderful delicacy, 'double crunch chicken' (ie burnt on the outside & still frozen inside) No, that wasn't me...

Sausages are another - carbonated on the outside - still squealing on the inside (the tapeworm lava, not the pig meat). Boil the buggers for 10 minutes on the £750 gas/electric stove in the kitchen before even attempting to set fire to them on an open fire.


Burgers!

Made from decent minced beef, onions, herbs, spices, free range egg for binding (the burgers, not.... well, you know...), maybe a dash of tabasco or some finely shredded naga if you feel adventurous - absolutely glorious... until given to the guy wearing an 'amusing' pinny, standing by an open fire pit (with the regulation 10 years worth of accumulated carbon deposits on the grill) in your garden, where he will then convert such succulent fare to a piece of tasteless cardboard, to be served with some horribly foreshortened greenery which at some point in the dim and distant past, went under the name 'salad' (mayonnaise & cigarette ash dressing optional)... ... probably in the rain.

Civilised man built kitchens inside his dwellings for a reason, I believe...

Talk like this makes me glad we declared independence.  Ermm
You should have waited, wave a half-cooked "wiener" in a soggy bun covered in some yellow slop that is vaguely related to mustard under our noses and we'd have cast you adrift sooner rather than later. Tongue

All I'm saying is when I burn toast I don't blame the toaster.  Wink
I have a Dualit toaster - I think the chances of me burning toast are pretty slim. Give a lump of bread to the guy in the 'amusing' pinny stood over half an oil drum filled with searing white-hot charcoal and I'll wager the price of said Dualit toaster that the end result will resemble Ying Yang in a perfect balance of carbonated and raw bread that, while being at one with the Universe in its idealised symmetry, will be completely inedible (and mildly carcinogenic). I'm not blaming the fiery pit of hell, just the half-inebriated comedy chef stood over it who wouldn't be seen dead cooking a normal meal in a normal kitchen.
 
just sayin' Tongue


Edited by Dean - December 06 2011 at 16:17
What?
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 06 2011 at 14:40
When it comes to cooking appliances, hook me up with a good toaster oven or microwave.  I have over the years become a master at these devices.  Of course it's the ingredients that really matter in the end.

And by ingredients I of course mean snakes.


Edited by Slartibartfast - December 06 2011 at 14:48
Released date are often when it it impacted you but recorded dates are when it really happened...

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 06 2011 at 15:53
Talented, but unambitious. Not sure how I'd rate that. 
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 06 2011 at 16:10
Originally posted by Dean Dean wrote:

Originally posted by Jim Garten Jim Garten wrote:

Originally posted by Dean Dean wrote:

The only cooking I'm not a fan of is grilling or barbeque - that's not cooking in my estimation, that's a revival of the viking practice of outdoor cremation




Especially when a novice BBQ cook decides to do chicken without pre cooking it first, so you get that wonderful delicacy, 'double crunch chicken' (ie burnt on the outside & still frozen inside)

No, that wasn't me...
Sausages are another - carbonated on the outside - still squealing on the inside (the tapeworm lava, not the pig meat). Boil the buggers for 10 minutes on the £750 gas/electric stove in the kitchen before even attempting to set fire to them on an open fire.


I grill almost year round and find it to be one of the most challenging methods of cooking.  But it's the only way you can get an authentic char-grilled, mesquite, or smoky flavor.

I never pre-cook chicken when I grill.  I use indirect heat (unless I'm cooking boneless chicken breasts).  I do, however, boil sausage before I toss them on the grill.  My bear sausage last time turned out mighty nice.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 06 2011 at 16:28
Originally posted by Dean Dean wrote:


Sausages are another - carbonated on the outside - still squealing on the inside (the tapeworm lava, not the pig meat). Boil the buggers for 10 minutes on the £750 gas/electric stove in the kitchen before even attempting to set fire to them on an open fire.
Hold on; you're speaking of uncured, unsmoked sausages?   Those are a travesty and not worth the money; smoked or cured is always tastier and it doesn't matter how long you cook them for.

Originally posted by Jim Garten Jim Garten wrote:


Burgers!
Made from decent minced beef, onions, herbs, spices, free range egg for binding (the burgers, not.... well, you know...), maybe a dash of tabasco or some finely shredded naga if you feel adventurous - absolutely glorious... until given to the guy wearing an 'amusing' pinny, standing by an open fire pit (with the regulation 10 years worth of accumulated carbon deposits on the grill) in your garden, where he will then convert such succulent fare to a piece of tasteless cardboard, to be served with some horribly foreshortened greenery which at some point in the dim and distant past, went under the name 'salad' (mayonnaise & cigarette ash dressing optional)... ... probably in the rain.
Civilised man built kitchens inside his dwellings for a reason, I believe...
a real burger contains nothing but ground beef and salt&pepper (maybe a bit of powdered or minced onion) then griddled, grilled or pan-fried.   That's it.   Anything else is more like meatballs or meatloaf.


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Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 06 2011 at 16:32
To heck with the ways of the Old Country.  I'm lighting up the grill!

http://www.euphoricarythmia.com/images/smilies/viking.gifhttp://www.4smileys.com/smileys/people-smileys/viking-smiley.gifhttp://www.twilightavengers.org/zylina/smilies/viking.gif
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