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Joined: May 29 2005
Location: Bucks county PA
Status: Offline
Points: 1474
Topic: Progarchives bullies Posted: November 05 2014 at 20:17
I'm just wondering what is the best way to deal with the "bullies" on here. I am talking about people who continually harass others, make unnecessary comments in posts and deliberately(at least it seems that way)bait others. There is no ignore function for posts so other than just not respond(which I admit is very difficult for me)what is the best way to deal with these negative and abusive people? I can report people until the cows come home but that doesn't seem to do me any good since they could(in theory) report me for reporting them. Thanks in advance for any productive advice on how to deal with these kinds of people.
Joined: September 21 2004
Location: plugged-in
Status: Offline
Points: 5502
Posted: November 05 2014 at 20:24
Not always easy, generally speaking ignoring helps, I never really bother about it, as generally speaking it's just people not understanding your posts, or your intend, that's their problem, never yours.
Unless you do it to yourself, but if your consience is clear, than who cares what others think.
Joined: May 29 2005
Location: Bucks county PA
Status: Offline
Points: 1474
Posted: November 05 2014 at 20:39
[Not always easy, generally speaking ignoring helps, I never really bother about it, as generally speaking it's just people not understanding your posts, or your intend, that's their problem, never yours.]
Yes that definitely seems to be the case here although I do have a history with this person so that by itself makes it seem personal.
Joined: May 25 2011
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Status: Offline
Points: 10970
Posted: November 05 2014 at 21:54
I've been giving this a lot of thought and this is what I've come up with (and this applies everywhere on the Web, not just on PA).
I. I've encountered this kind of thing a few times on YouTube. If we are talking strictly bullies, hardcore bullies, ... unfortunately, the best thing to do is to ignore them. Tempting as it is to just tell them off, it doesn't work; my theory is that's what they expect you to do. I personally don't understand this kind of mentality myself, and tempting as it is for me to try and understand this kind of mentality, another part to the aforementioned theory is ... that's another thing that the bullies expect of you. Just don't bother with them. Think of them as spam.
II. However, if we are talking the kind of people who tend to get emotional or senselessly arrogant every now and then; the kind that tends to use negative language ("Apparently, you don't know this or that", or "Obviously, you've never been here or there"), the kind that tends to make disparaging remarks about someone's intelligence; or the kind that makes indirect, sarcastic remarks* (maybe not with malicious intent), then I recommend the following options:
0) This is imperative: choose your words wisely. Think positively. Be sensible, not sensitive. Pay attention to the language you are using (as mentioned in the paragraph above). Some people just don't care for that, but I hope you do.
1) Try to trump you feelings about what words that person used and try to have an intelligent conversation with that same person on a different topic;
2) Try to trump you feelings about what words that person used and put yourself in his/her shoes, look at the topic from his/her angle;
3) Ignore them. Don't say anything. Making a remark about the person to anyone or anywhere will accomplish nothing and it does not help the forum on any level in the slightest. Don't try to correct anything or anybody or investigate into that other person's nature. If you've tried all the points above that I've suggested, then you probably know: it's not you.
Never take anything negative too personal. If I see someone talk crap about what I said, I think "A-a-a-ah, crud!" and move on.
* Sarcasm works here about 50% of the time. In any case, I would not encourage it here on this forum.
Joined: September 10 2010
Location: Earth
Status: Offline
Points: 6253
Posted: November 05 2014 at 21:55
Prog_Traveller wrote:
I'm just wondering what is the best way to deal with the "bullies" on here. I am talking about people who continually harass others, make unnecessary comments in posts and deliberately(at least it seems that way)bait others. There is no ignore function for posts so other than just not respond(which I admit is very difficult for me)what is the best way to deal with these negative and abusive people? I can report people until the cows come home but that doesn't seem to do me any good since they could(in theory) report me for reporting them. Thanks in advance for any productive advice on how to deal with these kinds of people.
Awww Prog_Traveller big hug.
Some comments you should "take with a pinch of salt", it not personal. Doesn't matter how we got here, the fact is that we all share a great interest in this genre of music as diverse it may seem.
Do not take it to heart, we have a few grumpies on here but once you get passed what one might perceive as a bad sarcastic jokes, you'll find that people here are actually very nice.
I too at first wasn't sure if this is were I should be but quickly warmed up to everyone. I decided to hug them to death (they had no choice in this matter) even if they hated that hihihi
This is a site of people coming together for the purpose I mentioned above, forum topics too can be most interesting and stimulating while elsewhere you might NOT get this.
Please do not let negative experience cloud your judgment, don't take it to heart.
Joined: September 10 2010
Location: Earth
Status: Offline
Points: 6253
Posted: November 06 2014 at 00:19
Prog_Traveller wrote:
Me too at least until I learn how to ignore the real poopy heads on here. ;)
Yes you are very happy. You always take your happy pills. :D
Poopy heads I bet you'll love everyone very soon once you become accustomed and yes in one way or another we all are demented here and probably belong in Bedlam hugs
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Progarchives bullies
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Prog_Traveller wrote:
big hug. 
, you'll find that people here are actually very nice. 
both that's me 