Orange Floyd's The Wall

Once upon a time there was an island archipelago that was divided up into lots of smaller countries by imaginary walls that the leaders of those small countries had scratched in the dirt and for many years the inhabitants were content with living alongside each other despite occasionally stepping over these imaginary walls to pinch the odd goat or sack of corn. Then 1,974 years ago this island archipelago was invaded by strange people from another country across the sea who didn't know where these imaginary walls were and they decided that since the island archipelago had a few trinkets that would sell for a pretty penny (or denarius as they called them as the penny hadn't been invented back then) back home they'd take charge and rule these many countries as if they were one. So for many years all those smaller countries where then governed as though they were a single union, though the individual countries within retained some of their original identity as separate states because the local leaders still knew where the imaginary walls were even if the self-appointed leader from across the sea of that larger union (that they called an empire, but that's not important) didn't. 

Then 1,895 years ago as the crow flies, a 73 mile long non-imaginary wall was erected in place of one of these imaginary walls between one of these small states to the north of the island and its larger neighbouring state in the south by the appointed leader of that larger union from across the sea to keep the inhabitants of that smaller state out. It didn't work but it was probably never intended to, it was merely a display of power because 20 years later a different leader built another non-imaginary wall 40 miles long further north so the locals could practice vaulting over that before attempting the longer wall in the south. Then 50 years after that yet another leader decided to erect a similar non-imaginary wall 132 miles long another imaginary wall between the largest state and its neighbour to the west; it too was ineffectual but it didn't matter because it sent a clear message to those folk in the west that the leader of the union had the best builders of walls so were a force to be reckoned with that they should fear greatly. Some 220 years later, after the invaders from across the sea had buggered off back to their own country across the sea, all the little states within that island archipelago reverted back to being lots of smaller countries and guarding the three non-imaginary walls was abandoned because all the leaders of those smaller countries still knew where the imaginary walls were and losing the occasional goat or sack of corn wasn't such a hardship. 

Some 347 years after that the 132 mile long non-imaginary western wall (which had by then had either fallen down or had been used to make something else, such as a leisure centre or public library ...or the bricks were just thrown at the neighbour's dog to stop it crapping in their yard), was replaced by a ditch that was dug by its larger neighbour in the east, presumably because the leader of that eastern country had the best goats and greatest sacks of corn and wasn't keen on sharing. Presumably he chose to dig a ditch (or clawdd in the local language) because the earlier non-imaginary walls had proved to be so ineffectual, or maybe he couldn't find enough bricks because the neighbour's dog had buried them, maybe it was just that the folk who lived in the smaller country to the west were good at scaling piles of rock and brick but rubbish swimmers, who knows? We can but speculate... [cue Jeremy Clarkson voice] all we know is he as called The Offa and it was his Dyke...

...and it too was as useless as a chocolate teapot but nowhere near as tasty, not that they knew what either chocolate or tea was back then. Offa did however know what a pretty penny was as his coinage was some of the earliest to be known by that name and it was indeed pretty (though the people still called them by the latin name denari when they wished to sound educated and clever and did so until the year 1971CE). [you can stop reading this in Clarkson's voice if you haven't already]

Despite the ineffectiveness of Offa's aforementioned Dyke and acquisition of many goats and sacks of corn, over time, and after many bouts of fistycuffs between all the leaders of all the little countries on the island archipelago and the throwing of many pointy sticks at each other across these imaginary walls by their inhabitants, it was decided that by three falls and a submission that it would probably be for the best if they stopped chucking stuff at each other and learnt to get along instead. Needless to say this didn't work too well either but settling their differences using combat by inflated pigs bladders proved to be more cost effective than trying to puncture holes in each other (it saved on the laundry bills too) so all the little countries begrudgingly formed a union and worked together, turning (as is their want) their attention to picking fights with the people of other countries across the sea instead as they all seemed to be having so much fun fighting amongst themselves and they felt left out.

Forward fast a few hundred years and by then things were getting way out of hand, never was there a time when somewhere in the world one of these countries wasn't kicking seven shades of effluent out of another such that on two occasions it seemed that everyone was a little miffed at someone for reasons that no one could clearly explain and the laundry bill was starting to get embarrassing. So a few countries who were growing tired of all this formed some more unions of disparate little countries so all this bickering could take place around a table instead of in a muddy field. Even then, one of these really large unions chose to erect a non-imaginary wall, but this time to keep its inhabitants in rather than to exclude its neighbours, and they built it out of iron instead of brick and rock, and since that was then a non-imaginary fence rather than a non-imaginary wall they chose to call it a non-imaginary curtain instead as a curtain is something that you can hide behind and that's what they did. However, that aside, these larger unions of countries also proved to be cost effective but not everyone saw it that way, especially when some of the money they pooled together for mutually assured peace of mind was spent on things that some of those little countries saw no practical benefit in. The other drawback of these unions is those imaginary walls between all the countries within each union proved to be rubbish at stopping folk from stepping over them whenever the desire to do so arose, which upset some of the people who couldn't actually think of a reason why this was such a bad thing but knew in their water that it really had to be a bad thing nevertheless, especially when they couldn't tell which of the other countries those imaginary-wall steppers had come from just by looking at the colour of their skin or the nice costumes they were wearing, or the pretty pennies they were spending...

In 2014 the small country in the north of the island archipelago (whose inhabitants numbered 5.3 million people out of a total population of over 64 million and who you will recall had a non-imaginary wall erected some 1,892 years earlier to keep them from wandering into their neighbour's fields) lost a vote to leave the small union of the other countries in the island archipelago, then in 2016 proceeded to lose another vote to keep that union as part of a larger union of countries comprised of its 'continental cousins'. While scoring a moral victory of having the population of that small country vote in favour of remaining in the larger union, its leader was a little miffed at her 'party' losing two votes on the trot. Basically this boils down to the people of that small country voting consistently to remain part of both unions of countries despite the wishes of its elected leader in the first vote. 

So we now have someone who became leader of that small northern country in the island archipelago because the previous leader lost the vote to take that small country out of the small union of other countries in the island archipelago, and someone else who became leader of the small union of island archipelagp countries because the previous leader lost the vote for that small union of countries to remain part of the much larger union of countries of 'continental cousins'. One campaigned to leave one union but remain in another and lost both times, and the other campaigned (albeit halfheartedly) to keep both unions intact but only lost once. Now the leader of the small country wants to have another vote to remove the small country from the small union because the small union is now leaving the larger union and the leader of the small union has now told her to go swivel. Handbags at dawn girls, because the leader of one of the feisty factions in the small western country in the union of the island archipelago (who also, it has to be noted, voted to remain as part of the larger union), has found one of the bricks that Offa misplaced and is hiding it in her Louis Vuitton replica while they bicker between themselves.

...and that's why we laugh at a large union of states who elected a leader because he wants to erect a 2,000 mile non-imaginary wall to keep out his neighbours who live on the wrong side of their imaginary wall. 

Same here.....