what are your hobbies besides music

 Jim (you heartless villain): Oh no! The RIDEOUT 2000 Writing Robot has made a mistake! "Error! Error! System malfunction! System malfunction! Warning: Auto-destruct will activate in 3 - 2 - 1 (click)... KER-BLAMMO! 

(A horrified Mrs Rideout runs into the smoldering, shattered computer room): "Aargh! My beloved and expensive robotic husband is spread all around the room! I'll never find a mate with an "off" switch again! (And he did the housework!) What's this on the computer?"

"Jim," eh? Curse your nit-picking bones, you thoughtless beast! Jim Garten, wherever you are I will hunt you down and have my revenge! Aieeee!" (she faints)

(Alerted by their grief-stricken mother's hysterical scream, the adorable Rideout progeny run to her side): "Mommy! Mommy! Please wake up, Mommy! What was that loud bang? Where's our wonderful  daddy? Oh my goodness! These smoking slippers must mean that..... Oh no! Daddeeeeee! Mommeeee! Wahhhh!" (The delightful moppets seem destined for a life of expensive therapy!)

(The RIDEOUT 2001 glides into the room): "At last (click, bleep), my chance has come! Mr. Garten (click, whir) I think we can work together."

Could this be the start of a mutually-beneficial relationship? Will the wretchedly-reduced Rideouts ever recover from the rapacious blow? Has Jim learned his lesson at long-last? Will he fearfully flee his fog-shrouded island home? Stay tuned!

 "Lewd" Dewd:

Keep me laughing, buddy!

 Jim, get it straight: a clam's not a crustacean, it's a mollusk and a bivalve. (Crustaceans include crabs, lobsters, shrimp, etc., the "bugs" of the sea!) 

Secondly, the celery in the Caesar is so that you can skip lunch!

(I once heard that chewing and digesting celery -- a largely useless food -- consumes more calories than it contributes. Thus, locked in the celery warehouse, you may not die of thirst, but you'll starve.... 

Hmmmm.... "warm, flat, and slides smoothly down your throat?" Sounds like Michael Jackson's (the alien, crotch-grabbing, falsettoed freakish pop idol, not the beer expert) favourite drink! 

I assume you mean Guinness, Kilkenny, Caffrey's, Beamish et al? I'll still take mine chilled, thanks. Your shout.

  A Caesar is sort of like a Bloody Mary, only with vodka and Motts Clamato (made with tomato and clam juice. Yes, I know, Jim & Dude; it has occurred to me. Don't even bother...) Worcestershire, Tobasco, pepper, salt, a rimmed glass (again, don't bother), lots of ice, and a celery stick. Tasty, but not for panty-waists such as yourselves. I'll get the next "shout" Jim. A warm flat twiggy ale for you, and a Shirley Temple for the Dude?

I await your indignant, baby-sham-breathed replies!

 Another thing I like is motorcycles, especially honkin' big dual-purpose "thumpers." (Owned two XL500s in the late 70s, early 80s. Great bikes, go-anywhere fun!) I hope to buy a new Kawasaki KLR650 soon....

Believe it or not guys, in the summer of '79, I rode (solo) a single-cylinder Honda XL250 most of the way across Canada, from St. John's, Newfoundland to Calgary, Alberta, turning 19 in a hotel bar en-route! Why such a small bike for such a long trip, you ask? My Goldwing was in the shop that week.....

Oh, and I really like beer and barbeques, too. In winter the beer stays cold in the snow. When it's minus 30 out, I have to drink it faster before it freezes! Hey, no problem.....

danbo wrote: Dammit Jim, ya don't mix them. You take a shot of Ouzo and chase it with flat, slightly warm coke. It's great. I used to be a bouncer in a local pub and we did a shot and a coke at the beginning of the shift.  Try it, you'll like it.   Sam Adams is my beer of choice.

I never tried Ouzo AND coke, but I like Ouzo and I like coke, so... but slightly warm coke??!!

I like vodka too!