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Topic ClosedMY first try at composing.

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Zitro View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Topic: MY first try at composing.
    Posted: November 10 2005 at 11:00

http://s39.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=2PTDJ62HL0SMP1W9DTTJSVER0 3

Song : Unbreakable Attitude (Instrumental) -> (I need a singer!) ... It is a song about the positiviness of going through life with a positive mood, no matter what tragedies and letdowns you experience (the instrumental section portrays the bad things).

A bit Influenced by Rick Wakeman ... and rhythmically influenced by Kill Bill and We Will Rock You?!. Since I cannot play the drums, I had to play the rhythms with wind instruments created by my keyboard.

It is an instrumental on a pop structure of 'intro' - 'verse' - 'chorus' - 'verse' - 'chorus' - 'dark instrumental bridge' (proggy) - 'verse on a loop with synth solo ending in a fadeout'

I only have about 2 years of experience in the keyboards, and from that time, I didn't play that often.

I got this song recorded about 5 months ago in my keyboard as a simple track. Yestersday and today, I decided to play around with the melodies and add up more instruments to it and this was the result.

Shortly, I may do the same to the other track I have recorded and re-record it and save it on an Mp3 file. The other track is longer and has prog structures as well as acoustic guitar playing.

 

Comments, critiques, and suggestions to improve the track are welcome.

PS: If you mention the bass at around minute 4, I already know that slight error. If you lower the bass volume, it is less noticeable. I will fix it later when I have free time.

 

 

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 10 2005 at 15:58
Not a bad effort for an amateur (and I don't mean that in a condescending way). There's a potential for a good chorus there.
My only criticisms would be that I don't really like the main keyboard sound you're using and it's probably a bit too long, although with the addition of vocals and some other instrumentation, that might not be such a problem.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 10 2005 at 17:56

Thanks for the reply and the criticisms. This song was initially done to contain vocals (the problem is that my voice is terrible and I am as accented as Eloy's singer). Therefore, I'll ask a couple of friends of mine to add vocals. By not having vocals, it has the 'feel' that it is longer than it should be. (I am also considering making the outro solo shorter and the fadeout effect faster)

I kind of like the 'strings' sound (if that's the sound you mean). Althrough I'd rather have a bass player and a drummer play the same rhythm and take the string rhythms out.

I don't know what more instrumentations I could put in it. For example, I initially thought of putting a jazz guitar solo (done in keyboards) in the middle section, but not only does it make the section overdone, but also : making a counterpoint to the synth solo and follow the synth repetition + Piano riffs + strings is way too complicated for me (considering the time signature of that section).

 

 

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 10 2005 at 18:55
well. considering you only play the keyboards for 2years.this is prety damn awesome
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 11 2005 at 01:21
It's a bit too basic, to be honest. In the intro it seems like you're just playing descending triads in Em and then the "main theme" is an Am-D progression. Not very interesting. The theme that starts at 0:57 is better though, you could work with that part more  .
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 11 2005 at 09:11

 I really like it. I can deffinatly see some potential here.

 

Keep it up man

I can strangle a canary in a tin can and it would be really original, but that wouldn't save it from sounding like utter sh*t.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 12 2005 at 07:07

This is really, really cool

The chord progression works very well

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 12 2005 at 10:24
Huh, me likes. I agree with Stebo32, really good for only playing keyboard for two years.

Critiques:

Started off a bit slow, if the begining was cut down a bit, it would be better. And I think the fade out took to long.

I would really like to here some more, it was pretty good.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 12 2005 at 11:06

Ok, thanks for the replies.

I will re-record it, make that descending intro shorter in some way (or just remove it and try something else), fix the bass mistake I've made in minute 4, and make the fade-out start right at the end of the solo while fading out the song at a faster rate.

 

I'm also trying to make the other song. It is pretty complicated to do so since I have to work on the 'flow' of the song which is divided into 7 small sections.

 

 

 

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 12 2005 at 12:37
Originally posted by Zitro Zitro wrote:

I will re-record it, make that descending intro shorter in some way (or just remove it and try something else), fix the bass mistake I've made in minute 4, and make the fade-out start right at the end of the solo while fading out the song at a faster rate.



Hey, If you like it you don't have to change anything. If you like the fade out or the intro, keep it that way, like I said, it was really good. And No peice is perfect, you just have to get it the way YOU like it.
www.myspace.com/hail_peter
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 12 2005 at 14:12

thanks, I know since it is my piece.

The fade-out is shorter, the bass at the end is fixed, and the intro has a simple melodic solo in it.

mmm

That's about it.

 

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 22 2006 at 17:48

mm here I am again, in the past 3 days I composed a 11 minute long prog song. As I mentioned before, my Piano skills are very basic, but I tried my best and composed some freaky prog stuff in some moments.

The first song is of course the simple instrumental "Unbreakable Attitude" http://s59.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=2JBQWXK57OJ4W3EDIMUZNEL75 F

The new one is Hernan's 1st Symphony: http://s59.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=0OZEEYG4Y49KA0OK8Y5ASJB1J C

To follow the story, it is about a group of friends I got in high school that lasted over a year.  As I was growing a friendship, my worst enemy befriended them and all of them did something really unforgiving to me. I escaped their presence. As I avoided them, I enjoyed the tranquility for a short while but then realized I was lonely. It even got worse: they found where I hanged out and started stalking me everywhere at school. I decided to deal with the problem and felt really happy about it. After that, I got new friends, and the story ends with the same theme in the beginning.

So if you want to divide it as separate movements, it would be something like:

Life - Friendship - Betrayal - Escape - Happy relief - Loneliness - Stalking - Solution - Friendship pt2 - Life

Enjoy. It sucks a bit though and "Loneliness" suffers from bad sound quality and sounding a bit similar to Brain Damage (not my intention).

EDIT: I don't like the name HErnan's 1st symphony .. too pretentious. The new name is "Friends on disguise"

 

 

 



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Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 28 2006 at 10:56

I think Im getting the hang of composing. In a couple of hours I wrote this:

 
It's more coherent than the previous two and much better in terms of melody.
 
Not prog as it follows simple song structures and 4/4 rhythms, but its my favourite of the 3 I wrote.
 
 
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