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Topic ClosedI'm not a composer, but this one came out good.

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Zitro View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Topic: I'm not a composer, but this one came out good.
    Posted: May 25 2006 at 23:07
if you remember me, Im the beginner keyboard player who tried composing with the simple "Unbreakable Attitude". I composed more songs and I have enough music for an album, but I think this song stands out because of better sound quality, complex rhythms, epic feel, and emotion. I did it alone.
 
Sorry that it's a demo as there's some "domestic" sound effects caused by my mom's cooking and some soft conversation near the end. It's not that annoying.

If you are pro-bush, stay away!! It has some controversial and biting lyrics at the end. It is about how 9/11 was politicized and how we were misled into war.

An classical and slowly intensifying chord progression opens the piece, using piano, percussion and church organ. Later, the 9/11 section opens with a weird time signature of 23/8 to play with the rhythms o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o---o-o--- (9, 1, 1). A melancholic mellow part continues it with a recurrent theme. Then it gets good: A complex 5/4 part "Why Iraq?" relying on rhythm. The transition to the chorus is excelent and powerful, but I don't hide the fact that the chorus is very similar to Yes' Mind Drive, so I will give credit to them there. It's still a cool section with shifting time signatures. After that, the overture chord progression returns with some lyrics whispered. A hopeful organ solo is extended for a minute and the piece ends.


Enjoy and give suggestions besides the volume imbalances in the whispered vocals and the last line being distorted. I will fix those.

EDited: I erased the demo link


Edited by Zitro - May 31 2006 at 12:01
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Zitro View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 30 2006 at 23:28

Finished version, althrough it's kinda similar, minus the noise and volume imbalances.

http://www.yousendit.com/transfer.php?action=download&ufid=B33FC85858B6C195

And some 50 second self-parody of the whispered part: http://www.yousendit.com/transfer.php?action=download&ufid=79A5BD177936325B (cool in stereo)
 
 
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 31 2006 at 09:42
Listening...
 
openening- Cool piano melody. I like the way the rhytm fits back in when the drums come in.
2:03- nice little mysterious guitar melody. i like.
2:48- cool stuff. what time signiutre is that going on? it sounds like 13/8 ish.. but not complety. is that the 23/8? i dont feel like doing math or counting too fast lol.
4:09- when this section comes in, its a little too down. we've had enough down time, we should get right into the song. but its nice
5:24- really nice rhythm here. still think we should get this show oin the road, it has been over 5 minutes, and we're still waiting for sometihng to happen
6:19- finnally. here we go.
6:30- damn, you brought us back down... We MUST keep building. no more rest time.
7:20- oo nice creepy whisper vocals. AHH the F-bomb!
7:-54- nice organ solo/riff thing .
end- Ok...
It was a great piece of music. Great chord changes, great music. As stated, the song has to go somewhere. There's so much great music, and so many ideas to be explored.
 
My advise: Extend it to a much longer song, write many more lyrics, and really let the music build, get really heavy in parts, and then let it settle back down. so some more vocals and creat more structure.
There is A LOT of potential in this piece of music, and I want to see you use it to its highest form.
I can strangle a canary in a tin can and it would be really original, but that wouldn't save it from sounding like utter sh*t.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 31 2006 at 09:57
Interesting Stuff, i will listen to it more and then i'll tell you
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 31 2006 at 09:59
Pretty good, that was pretty inspired. Now go get a group! Tongue
 
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Zitro View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 31 2006 at 11:52
Thanks for the replies, coments, and suggestions.
 
BePinkPhanter: I'll try to find a way to make it longer. I'm very limited to my little memory capacity in my keyboard, but due to audacity program I just got, I could try many new things. (my debut experiment is the stereo self-parody I put here with a fade out that isn't done by lowering the volume in the keyboard hehe)
 
Two of the things I found a bit lacking in this song was melody (I did better melodies in other songs) and what you saw. I could use some more intensity after the 9/11 section. I wouldn't know where to put it as the sad part seems mandatory. BTW: there's no guitar lol.
 
Of course, the last 4 minutes are flawless to me and the solo is the awaited climax (and Im surprised it did it in a few hours in a rush with the solo completely improvised) and if I put more intense parts before it, the 6:30 remark you made wouldn't happen. I'm going to take a break now but I'll compose on my head during work or something possibilities of extending the piece.
 
Sorry, but I can't really make vocals unless I invite a couple of friends who I know sing pretty well. I am a TERRIBLE singer, so I resort to whispers that I don't wanna overdo and make it a trademark.
 
Ivan, I really want to get into a group, or at least a side-project with an actual musician friend (bass and guitars) who respects my music a lot. While this song doesn't really need a band, my others songs do, like this potential one that could be a cool rock/pop song:
 
 
It would be so much better  with drums, bass, and competent guitars/vocals (I play a bit of guitar, but I mess up a lot)
 
 
 


Edited by Zitro - May 31 2006 at 11:54
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 23 2006 at 19:57
UPDATE: I collaborated with a female friend who has quite a good voice and plays 3 instruments (guitar,flute,keys). We tried our debut with a simple, yet very effective ballad. While that song was quite good melodically, we wanted to hit something more interesting.

So We got some really experimental, bizarre and prog song featuring tempo changes, time signature changes (one example being 15/16), scale changes, complex vocal harmonies, uncommon song structure, while keeping an acoustic sound and a short song duration (4 1/2 minutes). The instrumentation is inspired by Tool, Opeth and Pain of Salvation and the vocals obviously by middle-eastern music.

Enjoy, and give comments/suggestions:

Lament of the Forgotten: http://www.yousendit.com/transfer.php?action=download&ufid=1ED0251136C6B5E4




Edited by Zitro - June 23 2006 at 19:57
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 24 2006 at 15:47
Nice start! How about.... a drummer? Wink°
 
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 25 2006 at 09:16
could you upload the song again pls, since it expired?

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The Lost Chord View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 25 2006 at 10:59
1. Peter Gabriel owns that guy
2. Gabriel looks like a master musican whereas the other looks like a troll from world of warcraft
3.  One is obviously from the golden age, and one is taken a publicity shot and is obviously more recent.
4. Gabriel has a shaven forhead
5. The guy on the left also kind of looks like someone from Kiss on crack or ready for a killing spree
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Zitro View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 25 2006 at 11:17
It seems it became expired, here's another link for the song:


EDIT: I changed the link again because I did volume balances and added a few strings/piano background music in the verses instead of the guitar that feels out of place and out of the scale of the song.

http://www.yousendit.com/transfer.php?action=download&ufid=B279C16531010669


The song is much better now.


Edited by Zitro - June 25 2006 at 14:28
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 25 2006 at 14:35
Originally posted by The Lost Chord The Lost Chord wrote:

2. Gabriel looks like a master musican whereas the other looks like a troll from world of warcraft


I don't know how this has anything to do with the thread, but it made me laugh LOL
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 25 2006 at 18:47
i didnt catch any lyrics throughout the song?
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Zitro View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 26 2006 at 00:44
It's lyricless.

The only lyric is "Give it Back"

EDIT: OMG, my friend ripped off Pain of Salvation's Fandango? That must have been a coincidence since she's not into this kind of music. (I mean the singing during the rhythmically insane choruses from both songs) LOL


Edited by Zitro - June 26 2006 at 10:04
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Pafnutij View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 29 2006 at 03:44
Originally posted by The Lost Chord The Lost Chord wrote:

1. Peter Gabriel owns that guy
2. Gabriel looks like a master musican whereas the other looks like a troll from world of warcraft
3.  One is obviously from the golden age, and one is taken a publicity shot and is obviously more recent.
4. Gabriel has a shaven forhead
5. The guy on the left also kind of looks like someone from Kiss on crack or ready for a killing spree
 
6. The guy on the right has an open zipper.
 
 
 
 
 


Edited by Pafnutij - June 29 2006 at 03:45
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 29 2006 at 03:56
LOL
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 07 2006 at 00:27
Upload the song on PutFile or something; YouSendIt is just going to keep expiring.
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