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Topic ClosedHow good a cook are you?
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Poll Question: How would you rate your cooking ability?
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17 [47.22%]
8 [22.22%]
2 [5.56%]
0 [0.00%]
4 [11.11%]
4 [11.11%]
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Padraic View Drop Down
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Points: 31165 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 06 2011 at 18:36
Originally posted by Dean Dean wrote:

Originally posted by Atavachron Atavachron wrote:

Originally posted by Dean Dean wrote:


Sausages are another - carbonated on the outside - still squealing on the inside (the tapeworm lava, not the pig meat). Boil the buggers for 10 minutes on the £750 gas/electric stove in the kitchen before even attempting to set fire to them on an open fire.
Hold on; you're speaking of uncured, unsmoked sausages?   Those are a travesty and not worth the money; smoked or cured is always tastier and it doesn't matter how long you cook them for.
I'm open minded with regard to sausages to be honest (apart from Weißwurst, which I have tried and simply did not like), 


Well I'm with you there, that stuff is awful.
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Points: 37575 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 06 2011 at 17:38
Originally posted by Atavachron Atavachron wrote:

Originally posted by Dean Dean wrote:

Originally posted by Atavachron Atavachron wrote:

Originally posted by Dean Dean wrote:


Sausages are another - carbonated on the outside - still squealing on the inside (the tapeworm lava, not the pig meat). Boil the buggers for 10 minutes on the £750 gas/electric stove in the kitchen before even attempting to set fire to them on an open fire.
Hold on; you're speaking of uncured, unsmoked sausages?   Those are a travesty and not worth the money; smoked or cured is always tastier and it doesn't matter how long you cook them for.
but seriously - a good uncured, unsmoked sausage made with fine quality meat and flavoured with well chosen herbs and spices will never be a travesty.  
It's true, but I've had me some bad ones, to me it's not really sausage if it's simply a casing stuffed with ground meat, fat and flavors.   But I'd like to be proven wrong, and I'm sure I could be. 

Of course we were talking about sausages that get thrown on a BBQ grill, so we're not talking salami, chorizo, mortadella or any of those other sausages that are normally eaten cold... if those are what you had in mind then, sorry, wrong conversation. For me, any sausage made with mechanically recoved meat I'm not going to eat and that includes most hot dog sausages and all of the cheaper unbranded raw sausages.
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Points: 64460 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 06 2011 at 17:21
Originally posted by Dean Dean wrote:

Originally posted by Atavachron Atavachron wrote:

Originally posted by Dean Dean wrote:


Sausages are another - carbonated on the outside - still squealing on the inside (the tapeworm lava, not the pig meat). Boil the buggers for 10 minutes on the £750 gas/electric stove in the kitchen before even attempting to set fire to them on an open fire.
Hold on; you're speaking of uncured, unsmoked sausages?   Those are a travesty and not worth the money; smoked or cured is always tastier and it doesn't matter how long you cook them for.
but seriously - a good uncured, unsmoked sausage made with fine quality meat and flavoured with well chosen herbs and spices will never be a travesty.  
It's true, but I've had me some bad ones, to me it's not really sausage if it's simply a casing stuffed with ground meat, fat and flavors.   But I'd like to be proven wrong, and I'm sure I could be. 

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Points: 37575 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 06 2011 at 17:09
Originally posted by Atavachron Atavachron wrote:

Originally posted by Dean Dean wrote:


Sausages are another - carbonated on the outside - still squealing on the inside (the tapeworm lava, not the pig meat). Boil the buggers for 10 minutes on the £750 gas/electric stove in the kitchen before even attempting to set fire to them on an open fire.
Hold on; you're speaking of uncured, unsmoked sausages?   Those are a travesty and not worth the money; smoked or cured is always tastier and it doesn't matter how long you cook them for.
I'm open minded with regard to sausages to be honest (apart from Weißwurst, which I have tried and simply did not like), cured or uncured, smoked or unsmoked, if it's good I'll eat it, if it's not I'll throw it at the neighbours dog. If you don't like uncured, unsmoked then you've probably not tried the good stuff (which is highly likely since they are not cured or smoked and contain no artificial preservatives so will never survive the swim across the Atlantic). Tastier is a matter of, um, taste - I prefer to taste the meat and other ingredients that go into them rather than the medium they were cooked in - not that I've anything against cured and smoked food, because I do both and have a wide selection of cures and woods (and teas!) to chose from to impart the specific flavour I'm looking for - but if the prime ingredient is of poor flavour then no amount of curing and smoking will make it any better. I know we're having a bit of playful mock-patriotic banter here, but seriously - a good uncured, unsmoked sausage made with fine quality meat and flavoured with well chosen herbs and spices will never be a travesty.  
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Points: 10837 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 06 2011 at 17:06
These smileys look like typical Vikings to me, and I was translating an old prayer sung by French priests to avoid pillages from said Vikings. For some reason, God never forbid the Vikings to ravage the soils of France.

"Iceberg lettuces"? It brings weird images to my mind...
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Points: 32482 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 06 2011 at 16:51
Originally posted by CPicard CPicard wrote:

Originally posted by Epignosis Epignosis wrote:

To heck with the ways of the Old Country.  I'm lighting up the grill!

http://www.euphoricarythmia.com/images/smilies/viking.gifhttp://www.4smileys.com/smileys/people-smileys/viking-smiley.gifhttp://www.twilightavengers.org/zylina/smilies/viking.gif


Lord, save us from the fury of the Northern men.



I don't know, but, all of a sudden, I'm craving a tomatoes salad.


Sorry, but we're Southern folk.
http://www.myemoticons.com/images/communicate/insults/redneck.gif

And since you mention it, we are having grilled chicken salad, with romaine and iceberg lettuces, radishes, carrots, and cucumbers.
https://epignosis.bandcamp.com/album/a-month-of-sundays
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Points: 10837 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 06 2011 at 16:45
Originally posted by Epignosis Epignosis wrote:

To heck with the ways of the Old Country.  I'm lighting up the grill!

http://www.euphoricarythmia.com/images/smilies/viking.gifhttp://www.4smileys.com/smileys/people-smileys/viking-smiley.gifhttp://www.twilightavengers.org/zylina/smilies/viking.gif


Lord, save us from the fury of the Northern men.



I don't know, but, all of a sudden, I'm craving a tomatoes salad.
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Points: 64460 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 06 2011 at 16:37
Originally posted by Epignosis Epignosis wrote:

To heck with the ways of the Old Country.  I'm lighting up the grill!

http://www.euphoricarythmia.com/images/smilies/viking.gifhttp://www.4smileys.com/smileys/people-smileys/viking-smiley.gifhttp://www.twilightavengers.org/zylina/smilies/viking.gif


Nothing like it
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Points: 32482 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 06 2011 at 16:32
To heck with the ways of the Old Country.  I'm lighting up the grill!

http://www.euphoricarythmia.com/images/smilies/viking.gifhttp://www.4smileys.com/smileys/people-smileys/viking-smiley.gifhttp://www.twilightavengers.org/zylina/smilies/viking.gif
https://epignosis.bandcamp.com/album/a-month-of-sundays
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Points: 64460 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 06 2011 at 16:28
Originally posted by Dean Dean wrote:


Sausages are another - carbonated on the outside - still squealing on the inside (the tapeworm lava, not the pig meat). Boil the buggers for 10 minutes on the £750 gas/electric stove in the kitchen before even attempting to set fire to them on an open fire.
Hold on; you're speaking of uncured, unsmoked sausages?   Those are a travesty and not worth the money; smoked or cured is always tastier and it doesn't matter how long you cook them for.

Originally posted by Jim Garten Jim Garten wrote:


Burgers!
Made from decent minced beef, onions, herbs, spices, free range egg for binding (the burgers, not.... well, you know...), maybe a dash of tabasco or some finely shredded naga if you feel adventurous - absolutely glorious... until given to the guy wearing an 'amusing' pinny, standing by an open fire pit (with the regulation 10 years worth of accumulated carbon deposits on the grill) in your garden, where he will then convert such succulent fare to a piece of tasteless cardboard, to be served with some horribly foreshortened greenery which at some point in the dim and distant past, went under the name 'salad' (mayonnaise & cigarette ash dressing optional)... ... probably in the rain.
Civilised man built kitchens inside his dwellings for a reason, I believe...
a real burger contains nothing but ground beef and salt&pepper (maybe a bit of powdered or minced onion) then griddled, grilled or pan-fried.   That's it.   Anything else is more like meatballs or meatloaf.
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Points: 32482 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 06 2011 at 16:10
Originally posted by Dean Dean wrote:

Originally posted by Jim Garten Jim Garten wrote:

Originally posted by Dean Dean wrote:

The only cooking I'm not a fan of is grilling or barbeque - that's not cooking in my estimation, that's a revival of the viking practice of outdoor cremation




Especially when a novice BBQ cook decides to do chicken without pre cooking it first, so you get that wonderful delicacy, 'double crunch chicken' (ie burnt on the outside & still frozen inside)

No, that wasn't me...
Sausages are another - carbonated on the outside - still squealing on the inside (the tapeworm lava, not the pig meat). Boil the buggers for 10 minutes on the £750 gas/electric stove in the kitchen before even attempting to set fire to them on an open fire.


I grill almost year round and find it to be one of the most challenging methods of cooking.  But it's the only way you can get an authentic char-grilled, mesquite, or smoky flavor.

I never pre-cook chicken when I grill.  I use indirect heat (unless I'm cooking boneless chicken breasts).  I do, however, boil sausage before I toss them on the grill.  My bear sausage last time turned out mighty nice.
https://epignosis.bandcamp.com/album/a-month-of-sundays
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Points: 22989 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 06 2011 at 15:53
Talented, but unambitious. Not sure how I'd rate that. 
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Points: 29625 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 06 2011 at 14:40
When it comes to cooking appliances, hook me up with a good toaster oven or microwave.  I have over the years become a master at these devices.  Of course it's the ingredients that really matter in the end.

And by ingredients I of course mean snakes.


Edited by Slartibartfast - December 06 2011 at 14:48
Released date are often when it it impacted you but recorded dates are when it really happened...
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Points: 37575 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 06 2011 at 14:36
Originally posted by Padraic Padraic wrote:

Originally posted by Dean Dean wrote:

Originally posted by Padraic Padraic wrote:

Originally posted by Jim Garten Jim Garten wrote:

Originally posted by Dean Dean wrote:

Originally posted by Jim Garten Jim Garten wrote:

Originally posted by Dean Dean wrote:

The only cooking I'm not a fan of is grilling or barbeque - that's not cooking in my estimation, that's a revival of the viking practice of outdoor cremation
Especially when a novice BBQ cook decides to do chicken without pre cooking it first, so you get that wonderful delicacy, 'double crunch chicken' (ie burnt on the outside & still frozen inside) No, that wasn't me...

Sausages are another - carbonated on the outside - still squealing on the inside (the tapeworm lava, not the pig meat). Boil the buggers for 10 minutes on the £750 gas/electric stove in the kitchen before even attempting to set fire to them on an open fire.


Burgers!

Made from decent minced beef, onions, herbs, spices, free range egg for binding (the burgers, not.... well, you know...), maybe a dash of tabasco or some finely shredded naga if you feel adventurous - absolutely glorious... until given to the guy wearing an 'amusing' pinny, standing by an open fire pit (with the regulation 10 years worth of accumulated carbon deposits on the grill) in your garden, where he will then convert such succulent fare to a piece of tasteless cardboard, to be served with some horribly foreshortened greenery which at some point in the dim and distant past, went under the name 'salad' (mayonnaise & cigarette ash dressing optional)... ... probably in the rain.

Civilised man built kitchens inside his dwellings for a reason, I believe...

Talk like this makes me glad we declared independence.  Ermm
You should have waited, wave a half-cooked "wiener" in a soggy bun covered in some yellow slop that is vaguely related to mustard under our noses and we'd have cast you adrift sooner rather than later. Tongue

All I'm saying is when I burn toast I don't blame the toaster.  Wink
I have a Dualit toaster - I think the chances of me burning toast are pretty slim. Give a lump of bread to the guy in the 'amusing' pinny stood over half an oil drum filled with searing white-hot charcoal and I'll wager the price of said Dualit toaster that the end result will resemble Ying Yang in a perfect balance of carbonated and raw bread that, while being at one with the Universe in its idealised symmetry, will be completely inedible (and mildly carcinogenic). I'm not blaming the fiery pit of hell, just the half-inebriated comedy chef stood over it who wouldn't be seen dead cooking a normal meal in a normal kitchen.
 
just sayin' Tongue


Edited by Dean - December 06 2011 at 16:17
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I rate myself a PFM. Tongue
Released date are often when it it impacted you but recorded dates are when it really happened...
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Points: 31165 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 06 2011 at 14:14
Originally posted by Dean Dean wrote:

Originally posted by Padraic Padraic wrote:

Originally posted by Jim Garten Jim Garten wrote:

Originally posted by Dean Dean wrote:

Originally posted by Jim Garten Jim Garten wrote:

Originally posted by Dean Dean wrote:

The only cooking I'm not a fan of is grilling or barbeque - that's not cooking in my estimation, that's a revival of the viking practice of outdoor cremation
Especially when a novice BBQ cook decides to do chicken without pre cooking it first, so you get that wonderful delicacy, 'double crunch chicken' (ie burnt on the outside & still frozen inside) No, that wasn't me...

Sausages are another - carbonated on the outside - still squealing on the inside (the tapeworm lava, not the pig meat). Boil the buggers for 10 minutes on the £750 gas/electric stove in the kitchen before even attempting to set fire to them on an open fire.


Burgers!

Made from decent minced beef, onions, herbs, spices, free range egg for binding (the burgers, not.... well, you know...), maybe a dash of tabasco or some finely shredded naga if you feel adventurous - absolutely glorious... until given to the guy wearing an 'amusing' pinny, standing by an open fire pit (with the regulation 10 years worth of accumulated carbon deposits on the grill) in your garden, where he will then convert such succulent fare to a piece of tasteless cardboard, to be served with some horribly foreshortened greenery which at some point in the dim and distant past, went under the name 'salad' (mayonnaise & cigarette ash dressing optional)... ... probably in the rain.

Civilised man built kitchens inside his dwellings for a reason, I believe...

Talk like this makes me glad we declared independence.  Ermm
You should have waited, wave a half-cooked "wiener" in a soggy bun covered in some yellow slop that is vaguely related to mustard under our noses and we'd have cast you adrift sooner rather than later. Tongue

All I'm saying is when I burn toast I don't blame the toaster.  Wink
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Points: 37575 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 06 2011 at 13:45
Originally posted by Padraic Padraic wrote:

Originally posted by Jim Garten Jim Garten wrote:

Originally posted by Dean Dean wrote:

Originally posted by Jim Garten Jim Garten wrote:

Originally posted by Dean Dean wrote:

The only cooking I'm not a fan of is grilling or barbeque - that's not cooking in my estimation, that's a revival of the viking practice of outdoor cremation
Especially when a novice BBQ cook decides to do chicken without pre cooking it first, so you get that wonderful delicacy, 'double crunch chicken' (ie burnt on the outside & still frozen inside) No, that wasn't me...

Sausages are another - carbonated on the outside - still squealing on the inside (the tapeworm lava, not the pig meat). Boil the buggers for 10 minutes on the £750 gas/electric stove in the kitchen before even attempting to set fire to them on an open fire.


Burgers!

Made from decent minced beef, onions, herbs, spices, free range egg for binding (the burgers, not.... well, you know...), maybe a dash of tabasco or some finely shredded naga if you feel adventurous - absolutely glorious... until given to the guy wearing an 'amusing' pinny, standing by an open fire pit (with the regulation 10 years worth of accumulated carbon deposits on the grill) in your garden, where he will then convert such succulent fare to a piece of tasteless cardboard, to be served with some horribly foreshortened greenery which at some point in the dim and distant past, went under the name 'salad' (mayonnaise & cigarette ash dressing optional)... ... probably in the rain.

Civilised man built kitchens inside his dwellings for a reason, I believe...

Talk like this makes me glad we declared independence.  Ermm
You should have waited, wave a half-cooked "wiener" in a soggy bun covered in some yellow slop that is vaguely related to mustard under our noses and we'd have cast you adrift sooner rather than later. Tongue
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Points: 31165 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 06 2011 at 13:40
Originally posted by Jim Garten Jim Garten wrote:

Originally posted by Dean Dean wrote:

Originally posted by Jim Garten Jim Garten wrote:

Originally posted by Dean Dean wrote:

The only cooking I'm not a fan of is grilling or barbeque - that's not cooking in my estimation, that's a revival of the viking practice of outdoor cremation
Especially when a novice BBQ cook decides to do chicken without pre cooking it first, so you get that wonderful delicacy, 'double crunch chicken' (ie burnt on the outside & still frozen inside) No, that wasn't me...

Sausages are another - carbonated on the outside - still squealing on the inside (the tapeworm lava, not the pig meat). Boil the buggers for 10 minutes on the £750 gas/electric stove in the kitchen before even attempting to set fire to them on an open fire.


Burgers!

Made from decent minced beef, onions, herbs, spices, free range egg for binding (the burgers, not.... well, you know...), maybe a dash of tabasco or some finely shredded naga if you feel adventurous - absolutely glorious... until given to the guy wearing an 'amusing' pinny, standing by an open fire pit (with the regulation 10 years worth of accumulated carbon deposits on the grill) in your garden, where he will then convert such succulent fare to a piece of tasteless cardboard, to be served with some horribly foreshortened greenery which at some point in the dim and distant past, went under the name 'salad' (mayonnaise & cigarette ash dressing optional)... ... probably in the rain.

Civilised man built kitchens inside his dwellings for a reason, I believe...

Talk like this makes me glad we declared independence.  Ermm
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