A funny story

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Since Christmas is only five weeks away I thought I should contribute a
Christmas story for kids I wrote some twenty 20 years ago. It was
originally written in German but I just translated it for this site. I
will post another more serious Christmas story for adults titled "The
Accident" soon too, but it is about double as long, and I still have to
translate it. I am very proud of that other story and consider it to be a
very fine piece of literature; I only hope my translation will manage
to capture that.

Oh, and I would be delighted by any comments on this little nonsense story.

Animal Christmas

There was great excitement among the animals in the
forest. Christmas was nearing, and for the first time, yes for the
first time the animals had their own Christmas tree.

The idea had been given to them by the old little owl
Willibald who slept his days in the beams of the old village church.
Just in front of the church stood a huge, festively ornamented and
brightly illuminated Christmas tree that he inevitably saw when he
flew for prey at night, and when he told the other animals about this
glorious wonder of man, laden all over with ornaments, in his
somewhat long-winded and pompous way many an animal felt very
strange.

Of course it had been the cheeky shrew Anna who boldly
claimed: „Bah, we can do that too“! Hardly was the word out when all
the animals became enthusiastic for the idea. „Yes, let us set up
a Christmas tree like the humans, and on Christmas Eve the big feast
will start“ shouted Isidor the woodpecker who had a predilection
for feasts of any kind and who often left his wife Isabella and their
three kids alone for a spicy drink of dandelion milk, which had earned
him the nickname „Boozepecker“ (annotation: an attempt at
translating the literaly untranslatable German term "Schluckspecht" combined of „Schlucken“
meaning „to swallow“ and „Specht“ meaning „woodpecker“
which in combination means „boozer“) in the forest.. „A feast
for the higher glory of God, arranged by those creatures who really
follow His commandments“ the pious mole Theodor added. And suddenly
there was a honking, quaking, squeaking, squealing, cooing and
whistling as all the animals at the same time tried to make their
suggestions heard. Only the three bat sisters Miranda, Esmeralda and
Violetta appeared to be untouched, but then of course bats see with
their ears, so an optic spectacle like a Christmas tree leaves them
cold.

They immediately started their preparations. A truce was
declared for Christmas eve so that the mice, rabbits, moles, singing
birds and so on could take part without fear of foxes, badgers, owls
and other animals who specialized in hunting. Karl the hoopoe was
sent out as a scout to have a close look at the Christmas tree in
front of the church by daylight. Robert the roebuck, Egon the rabbit,
Rudolph the jay and Freddy the fox formed a committee that was given
the task of finding the most beautiful tree in the forest that had to
serve as Christmas tree. After tough debates they finally agreed on a
lofty fir tree that stood a bit apart on a small hill. The sparrows
were chosen to carry the news of the planned Christmas feast all
around the forest, and since sparrows love nothing more than chatting
soon even the smallest earthworm knew about it.

On Christmas Eve all the animals gathered to decorate
the tree, and of course every animal wanted to contribute its mite.
Gregor the hamster plundered his supply depot for the winter and
carried acorns, beechnuts and hazelnuts to the spot. The magpies
stole even more rings and silver spoons as usual, something which the
pious mole at first did not sanction at all, but then he finally
declared that the end justified the means and that God's ways were
inscrutable, shyly making the sign of the cross as he spoke so. Most
of the other birds ripped out some of their down feathers to serve as
decoration. Fridolin the badger donated some silvery-glittering
strands from his undercoat which turned out to be an excellent
tinsel. Only Freddy the fox attracted some unpleasant attraction when
he wanted to decorate the tree with the bodies of a few he had killed,
which the mice that were still living sharply protested against. But
after some debate he was finally allowed to contribute a few feathers
that had remained of his latest goose feast. The protest of the wild
geese was turned down by pointing out that one could lose feathers in
many ways and so the origin of the feathers was unclear. This was a
clear concession to the fox since nobody had any doubts about the
origin of these feathers. They were after all afraid he might break
the truce in anger. The task of decorating the tree fell to the
squirrels because they were the best climbers and had the most
dexterous paws. And the illumination...

Franz the forester tumbled into the little village inn
on Christmas eve and ordered „a schnapps, and make it a stiff one“
on entering. When the innkeeper gave him what he had wished for he
downed it in one gulp and shook himself.

„Well, I've been a goin' in and out the forest for
forty years now, but I ne'er saw nuttin' like this before, mates. I
was a-passin' tha' ol' weather fir an' blimey wha' do I see? Hundreds
of animals a-gatherin`roun' it, really everythin', rabbits, does,
foxes, buzzards, everythin'. An' the ol' fir itself decorated top to
bottom. An' in that bloody fir – thousands of fireflies! In da
midst of winter! 'nother stiff one“!

And while the forester downed his stiff one and the
other guests knowingly tapped their foreheads Theodor the mole just
ended his festive speech with the words „Merry Christmas“!