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Chicapah
Prog Reviewer
Joined: February 14 2006
Location: United States
Status: Offline
Points: 8238
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Posted: July 07 2007 at 10:15 |
NOTE: The word "fat" or "overweight" should NEVER be used in any kind of reference to your wife/girlfriend. You can only use those terms when referring to her friends.
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"Literature is well enough, as a time-passer, and for the improvement and general elevation and purification of mankind, but it has no practical value" - Mark Twain
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cuncuna
Forum Senior Member
Joined: March 29 2005
Location: Chile
Status: Offline
Points: 4318
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Posted: July 07 2007 at 10:47 |
Philéas wrote:
^ OUCH. What did she say?
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There was this kind of silence for a couple of minutes; I was thinking "ok, I said something clever and somewhat cute, I... uhm..."
Then I started a very complex explanation of what I tried to do. She thought it was rather funny, and that was it. Weird, it did worked; she told me later that she actually laughed for weeks at this, and how funny and silly I was, etc. Lucky me...
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¡Beware of the Bee!
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cuncuna
Forum Senior Member
Joined: March 29 2005
Location: Chile
Status: Offline
Points: 4318
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Posted: July 07 2007 at 10:51 |
Chicapah wrote:
NOTE: The word "fat" or "overweight" should NEVER be used in any kind of reference to your wife/girlfriend. You can only use those terms when referring to her friends. |
Do use the following:
- "Porcelain doll"
- "Renaissance beauty" (Boticelli, Velazquez, Goya and the else).
- "You look perfect... in fact, you look MORE perfect now"
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¡Beware of the Bee!
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The Doctor
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: June 23 2005
Location: The Tardis
Status: Offline
Points: 8543
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Posted: July 07 2007 at 14:36 |
Chicapah wrote:
NOTE: The word "fat" or "overweight" should NEVER be used in any kind of reference to your wife/girlfriend. You can only use those terms when referring to her friends. |
Hmmmmmm. You don't think that could be why I'm still single, do you? 
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I can understand your anger at me, but what did the horse I rode in on ever do to you?
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evilromero
Forum Senior Member
Joined: April 14 2007
Status: Offline
Points: 118
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Posted: July 08 2007 at 20:03 |
"Anyone will be able to walk into a store and buy a Wii on launch day without a pre-order."
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Hyperborea
Forum Senior Member
Joined: March 06 2007
Status: Offline
Points: 234
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Posted: July 08 2007 at 20:09 |
I'm too clever to say something stupid, but i hear the mayor of Hiroshima was quoted as saying....." what the f**k was that?"
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Proletariat
Forum Senior Member
Joined: March 30 2007
Location: United States
Status: Offline
Points: 1882
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Posted: July 08 2007 at 20:13 |
Hyperborea wrote:
I'm too clever to say something stupid, but i hear the mayor of Hiroshima was quoted as saying....." what the f**k was that?" |
I dont know, that was pretty stupid right there.
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who hiccuped endlessly trying to giggle but wound up with a sob
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Jim Garten
Special Collaborator
Retired Admin & Razor Guru
Joined: February 02 2004
Location: South England
Status: Offline
Points: 14693
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Posted: July 09 2007 at 07:23 |
This isn't one of mine, but I'll withold the name to protect the guilty:
Trivial pursuit question:
Complete the following 1970's album title - "............ heres the Sex Pistols"
Answer given: - Lock Up Your Daughters
Much hilarity ensued, plus a few other choice punk album suggestions, such as "Whoops Matron, It's The Buzzcocks", and "Ooh, Lummocks! It's The Stranglers"
Another classic was given (by a different person) to answer the question "Name the individual countries which make up Scandinavia" - one of the answers given being "Switzerland"; again, mich p+++ taking resulted with references to the famous Swiss Viking raids etc etc, but this particular person really got the @rse about it & stormed off (the wonders of alcohol, eh?)...
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Jon Lord 1941 - 2012
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Dean
Special Collaborator
Retired Admin and Amateur Layabout
Joined: May 13 2007
Location: Europe
Status: Offline
Points: 37575
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Posted: July 09 2007 at 07:42 |
^ We were discussing Trivial Pursuit at work one day when the department secretary chipped in with: "Oh, me and my friends love Trivial Pursuits - we play the Genius Edition."
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What?
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Jim Garten
Special Collaborator
Retired Admin & Razor Guru
Joined: February 02 2004
Location: South England
Status: Offline
Points: 14693
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Posted: July 09 2007 at 07:59 |
Doh!
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Jon Lord 1941 - 2012
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JJLehto
Prog Reviewer
Joined: April 05 2006
Location: Tallahassee, FL
Status: Offline
Points: 34550
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Posted: July 10 2007 at 16:27 |
Proletariat wrote:
Hyperborea wrote:
I'm too clever to say something stupid, but i hear the mayor of Hiroshima was quoted as saying....." what the f**k was that?" |
I dont know, that was pretty stupid right there. |
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Zoot Allures
Forum Senior Member
Joined: July 20 2006
Location: Canada
Status: Offline
Points: 127
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Posted: July 10 2007 at 21:58 |
Don't remember but it was probably something foolish when I had a few too many pints and thought I knew everything 
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The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side. - Hunter S. Thompson
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Bj-1
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: June 04 2005
Location: No(r)Way
Status: Offline
Points: 31663
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Posted: July 10 2007 at 22:10 |
This happened on a party a while back. Some girls asked me:
'are you single?'
And I jokingly replyed:
'no, im vinyl'
They looked like question marks after that. I have said stupider things than that though, but that one was the first one to come to mind 
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RIO/AVANT/ZEUHL - The best thing you can get with yer pants on!
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fungusucantkill
Forum Senior Member
Joined: July 26 2005
Location: New Orleans
Status: Offline
Points: 618
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Posted: July 10 2007 at 22:18 |
Bj-1 wrote:
This happened on a party a while back. Some girls asked me:
'are you single?'
And I jokingly replyed:
'no, im vinyl'
They looked like question marks after that. I have said stupider things than that though, but that one was the first one to come to mind  |
something likethat happened to my friend.
girl: hey you, are you Dirty? naughty laughter
friend: no, i just took a shower.
sad thing is he was serious. funny.
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VanderGraafKommandöh
Prog Reviewer
Joined: July 04 2005
Location: Malaria
Status: Offline
Points: 89372
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Posted: July 11 2007 at 06:40 |
I have made many a faux pas in my time... most of the embarrassing ones always start the same way... and I'm sure the majority of us have been there too:
Oh, I saw a film the other week, I forget what it was called and it had that guy from... erm... oh, what's his name? Oh, he was in that film with erm... oh, that girl from erm...
On it goes... slowly digging my own own laughter pit.
Edited by Geck0 - July 11 2007 at 06:47
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Atavachron
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: September 30 2006
Location: Pearland
Status: Offline
Points: 65876
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Posted: July 11 2007 at 06:45 |
 I know that one
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VanderGraafKommandöh
Prog Reviewer
Joined: July 04 2005
Location: Malaria
Status: Offline
Points: 89372
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Posted: July 11 2007 at 06:50 |
You know the film or the situation?
For some odd reason unbeknowst to me, I always say stuff like that... I really should think before speaking... my mates joke about it too. I do the same with music... I have this ability of forgetting the of name Aphex Twin a lot also... 
Edited by Geck0 - July 11 2007 at 06:51
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Atavachron
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: September 30 2006
Location: Pearland
Status: Offline
Points: 65876
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Posted: July 11 2007 at 06:55 |
the situation
n00b
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Yorkie X
Forum Senior Member
Joined: July 04 2007
Status: Offline
Points: 1049
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Posted: July 11 2007 at 07:12 |
what do you get when you cross a vampire with a dwarf ? ... a monster that sucks blood from peoples knee caps
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progismylife
Forum Senior Member
Joined: October 19 2006
Location: ibreathehelium
Status: Offline
Points: 15535
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Posted: July 11 2007 at 07:26 |
I've said many stupid things.
One time I was leaving a concert and headed towards the tube station:
Friend: That concert was awesome
Me: Yeah I know...and boy am I sure glad this coat keeps me cool.
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