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You know you're getting old when...

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JD View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote JD Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 14 2023 at 14:28
You know you're getting old when you buy glasses for every level of the house so you don't have to run up and down the staircase when your significant other pulls out their phone and says "Come and look at this".
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote progaardvark Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 15 2023 at 09:16
You know you're getting old when you divide your mountain ranges with pretzel bags that are nondeterministic polynomial-time complete and you throw your Turing machines in a clothespin manifestation.
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i'm shopping for a new oil-cured sinus bag
that's a happy bag of lettuce
this car smells like cartilage
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote progaardvark Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 17 2023 at 04:12
You know you're getting old when you put a hole in your sofa and all the fake Murano glass falls into it followed by all the postage stamps of the world and then they tell you that you can't have mashed potatoes anymore. 
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i'm shopping for a new oil-cured sinus bag
that's a happy bag of lettuce
this car smells like cartilage
nothing beats a good video about fractions
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote moshkito Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 17 2023 at 07:01
Hi,

You know it is getting bad, when you hear your "mom" say ... "I'm going senile" and at 85, she still manages to do a corporate tax return a month or more. Or in my case, wake up in the morning and you are dizzy as heck, and all you can think of is how many women have said the same thing for another reason!

Seems normal to me ... we start with "nothing" (nekkid and all!) and end up with "nothing" ... sort of like the wheel goes around full circle!
Music is not just for listening ... it is for LIVING ... you got to feel it to know what's it about! Not being told!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote progaardvark Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 19 2023 at 11:22
You know you're getting old when you get your toenails done by a bumblebee and the cake frosting is screaming integers into your nose.
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i'm shopping for a new oil-cured sinus bag
that's a happy bag of lettuce
this car smells like cartilage
nothing beats a good video about fractions
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote progaardvark Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 06 2023 at 10:09
You know you're getting old when your fingernail clippings are being preserved in toploaders and your brain is on speed dial to the forest calculator department.
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i'm shopping for a new oil-cured sinus bag
that's a happy bag of lettuce
this car smells like cartilage
nothing beats a good video about fractions
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JD View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote JD Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 06 2023 at 16:42
You know you're getting old when @progaardvark's posts make perfect sense to you.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote progaardvark Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 09 2023 at 04:14
You know you're getting old when a second-moment matrix adapts a sufficiently small pair of pants into a cruise ship fool of doorknobs, popcorn machines, and blob operators.
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i'm shopping for a new oil-cured sinus bag
that's a happy bag of lettuce
this car smells like cartilage
nothing beats a good video about fractions
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote progaardvark Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 13 2023 at 14:56
You know you're getting old when a gastroenterologist feeds you a complete set of 1990 Donruss baseball cards for your stomach to identify the error cards.
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i'm shopping for a new oil-cured sinus bag
that's a happy bag of lettuce
this car smells like cartilage
nothing beats a good video about fractions
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote lysariskye Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 12 2023 at 13:58
Everyone starts looking like they have IBS to you whether you have it yourself or not.
My heart has wi-fi and the password is Drew Carey.
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