DO THEY HURT?

This is merely a bunch of holdovers from the "Product" sessions but you already knew that. Predictably, the stuff on this release often sounds too jammy, jazzy or unfinished to be put to good use on Brand X's "Product" because I don't really think the new wave fans they were attempting to cater to would appreciate their music cooked and served with mahavishnu influences on the side. The players on this album mostly consist of the "Night" line-up from the "Product" days when Brand X was more a collective of two bands then an actual band. This particular line-up features bassist, Percy Jones, keyboardist, Peter Robinson, guitarist, John Goodsall, and drummer, Mike Clark. We also get a few guest stars like Robin Lumley, Morris Pert, and good, old Philadelphia Collins himself but for the most part, these guys are usually reduced to a minor role, too bored to care or too invisible to really add something to the overall musical product.

It's a shame that a lot of the lead band members have lost their enthusiasm as well. The only one who carries out just like in the band's youthful days is Mr. Percy Jones, the rest have simply lost all of their energy. John Goodsall has traded in his ability to play fast and furious electric guitar archipelagoes for a very David Gilmour style of soloing as well as some pretty guitar harmonics, both of which are very nice but somehow lack his true identity as an inventive finger flasher. Oh and don't get me started at how pathetic Collins has become at drumming ever since he sold his powerful, drumming soul to a "futuristic" machine that drums for him. For the love of Chuck Bergi, Billy Cobham, and all the other great jazz fusion drummers, a fifth grade jazz band dropout like me could have played the rhythm on "Triumphant Limp" just fine and I played the 2nd trumpet in elementary school band for godsakes.

The album opens with something that's at least funny and relatively enjoyable. "Noddy Goes to Sweden" is an amusing groove with Jones' bubbling bass boasting the biggest personality. It romps through a couple of slightly funky, slightly cute bass led melodies before we meet Goodsall's prety guitar piece, "Voidarama" at the end. Now, first, before I start describing that one, I'd like to say that it's Goodsall's compositions that end up salvaging this album from being a lot of murky jazz fusion boredom. With that being said, Voidarama is very hard to describe other then the cord sequences played on here are very beautiful. Especially the soaring guitar part right after the main theme and the Floyd-esque guitar solo.

Goodsall's "Act of Will" is this album's typical black sheep, purely acosted by the jazz heads for being pop. The stupid vocoderized vox by Goodsall are certainly an anomaly for the song but I can't help but like the actual melody (It's very Abacab era Genesis and I like that) along with this pretty guitar line that frequently pops up in all the right places. John's "Cambodia" is a very evil sounding medieval anthem of some sort that manages to be compelling as well. This song slowly creeps along like it's the theme for some vicious dragon or for a hulking, black knight with a giant ball and chain swinging over his head or even for some lady with a leather skin purse being confronted by a giant crocodile in her front yard (The horror!) and while the imagery I get from this song is very clichéd, the song itself isn't. Those guitar harmonics are as beautiful as they are menacing and we're greeted with yet another powerful guitar solo half way through.

"Fragile!" has the honor of winning "song most likely to give me a ringing headache" award but don't expect it to be giving a highly emotional and tearful speech at the Grammies anytime soon. It's essentially a very weak and messy groove that keeps falling apart and made even more annoying with totally scattered and unorthodox bass/keyboard/drum spurts all over the place. The song just has to start before I start wishing for the wretched thing to end. You can say that's quite an achievement because they're really aren't that many songs that conjure up a feeling like that for me.

"Triumphant Limp" is an overlong, midtempo jazz jam with a few nice bits of creativity but overall just sucks. For the most part it's mainly Collins just lightly tapping the cymbals in the most rudimentary pattern reserved only for aspiring twelve year old drummers, Goodsall playing this cool, pre-grunge grungy guitar riff, Lumley playing a notable synth riff, the bass going "babumbabumbaum" over and over and that's basically a full coverage of what happens for a long six minutes.

"D.M.Z." despite being a full seven minutes and having that patented jazz acronym that stands for nothing but B.S, is a bit better. The first part of this jazzy thing is actually influenced by the music of Italy. No, not the esteemed Italian Prog but as Jones' bass plays a faster groove, Robinson plays a little prancy motive that sounds very reminiscent of Italian Baroque. Talk about your weird jazz fusion influences. Well, at least this jazzy jazzfest raises up some resonant feelings within me, it makes me feel very hungry and have the urge to go drive down to my local Frankie's Pizza and Pasta, an American run food business pretending to be Italian. Mmm, resonance never tasted better!

In the end "Do They Hurt" is no where as bad as I originally thought it was but it's no where near good either. Despite all the excessive jazzy jams, this album is much more accessible than Masques, which is about as hard as they come as far as jazz fusion is concerned. Believe it or not, the subsequent album after this is yet ANOTHER outtakes album. Wow, an outtakes album for outtakes; isn't that novel?

Album Grade: B-

Best Songs: Cambodia, Voidarama, Act of Will (Yes, indeed)

Worst Songs: Fragile!, Triumphant Limp