GOLEM

A real dreary disappointment, despite the recent cd re-release with the help of 'Current 93'. Sand are just as miserable as 'Current 93' but no-where near as strange. The English spoken vocals just sound plain daft and infantile.

It's really hard to know what to make of this album as my mind keeps wandering while listening to it... That crumb on the floor... how long has it been there?... was it you, was it me, did I watch too much TV?.......... Anyway, must focus back on the album, as arduous a task as that is.

The plan was to get through this album as quickly as possible. Sort of like ripping off a plaster in one go to limit the pain. I'm now half way through 'Golem' and I'm losing the will to live.

This turns into a real endurance test after around 15 minutes. 'Golem' contains the whiniest vocalist you can imagine, coupled with some doleful unimaginative bass twanging. Johannes Vester's vocals intensify the weaknesses that are all too apparent as this soppy little album trudges towards its mediocre conclusion. He sounds like he's pinching his nose whilst singing. One of the most miserable decrepit albums I've ever heard.

Just about all of my reviews are observations rather than analytical breakdowns of individual tunes, and all I can give you here are my honest thoughts, which go something like this: Every minute involves me taking gasps for air and drinking caffeine to bolster myself until the end.

If anyone says this is their favourite album of all time I'll give them a million pounds. Not literally, obviously, but if I met such a person I'd certainly shake them by the hand.

A crushingly slow and shallow undertaking without any colour. In the 1940's people like this would have been mopped up by Big Brother.

Worse still. this is a damn double cd. Arrgghh! Sorry readers, there's no way I'm going to get through a second disc of this. Bye bye - it's been nice knowing you....