200 MOTELS

After years and years of patient[?!] anticipation, the ZFT has finally graced us with an official reissue of the of-the-time Psychedelic digital brain-child of Mr. Frank Zappa and the NEW! Mothers of Invention. This new Mothers lineup has the once-Turtles duo Flo & Eddie on vocals, more officially the Fluorescent Leech (Mark Volman) and Eddie (Howard Kaylan), some of the best drumming throughout FZ's career by Aynsley Dunbar, the first sight and 'appearance' of the right honourable Mr. George Duke on keyboards and trombone as well as Mrs. Ruth [by-then-actually] Underwood on 'orchestral drum set'[?]. Still tied to Frank is the inimitable and essential Mr. Ian Underwood. And on bass is Martin Lickert.

From the opener in which we learn that Larry the Dwarf (performed by the inspired Richard "Ringo Starr" Starkey) will be playing the role of Frank Vincent Zappa by way of our film's narrator, Theodore Bikel (in Austro-accented-and-dressed faire), the film and our soundtrack is off! As under-appreciated as I feel this album is historically, there are a lot of goodies herein and expound, indeed, I shall.

Resounding in Hard Rock excellence, we have Mothers classics in effectively the opener "Mystery Roach", then the classical-oddity-yet-rockin' "Tuna Fish Promenade". Then starting off an effective medley is "She Painted Up Her Face", eventually followed up with the thematic "Half A Dozen Provocative Squats" and finally "Shove It Right In" ("She dances, she prances..."). Not so hard-rock is the dancin' "Daddy, Daddy, Daddy", with sort of RnB vocals and swing. "What Will This Evening Bring Me This Morning" has one of the most impeccable, ear-worm melodies of the whole lot, a track that I would frequently forget, only to be reminded of its excellence upon hearing (enough poetic waxing; it's a great song). Back to the hard-rock, we have another absolute must-hear track, "Magic Fingers". Very much could have been appropriated for the previous Chunga's Revenge (1970), to mine ears. A sweet, still-early-to-soloing Frank solo on this'n. So heavy, yet also so infectious and then creepily psychedelic (and unsurprisingly horny... in the way I normally don't mean).

The other notable feature of this film's ever-present soundtrack is the modern classical flavorings of Mr. Zappa. Avant-garde and daring, this is our clearest view of this side of Frank since his first 'solo' effort in Lumpy Gravy (1967). Personal favorites are, from the start, the very-FZ "Dance of the Just Plain Folks" (a foretaste of what we'll hear years later on Orchestral Favorites, and specifically on its contemporary epic "The Adventures of Greggery Peccary"), "Touring Can Make You Crazy", the at-once-hilarious-and-then-Varesque "Redneck Eats", so many "CHURCHES!!!" in "Centerville"... "and liquor stores!" (it's "a real nice place to raise your kids up"), and "Lucy's Seduction of a Bored Violinist & Postlude". "Motorhead's Midnight Ranch" has some lovely classic guitarings, apparently arranged by the great John Williams (ya know, the other one).

In the hilarious, absolute classic, must-be-heard "Lonesome Cowboy Burt", joining the excellent vocals of Flo & Eddie is original Mother drummer Jimmy Carl Black (The Indian of the Group). "Holiday in Berlin, Full Blown" from Burnt Weenie Sandwich is reimagined in the Crossover Classical "Would You Like a Snack?". One of the absolute most memorable scenes from the film and nearly as effective with just audio is the 2D animated "Dental Hygiene Dilemma" (I'm sure you can find it on YouTube), in which Jeff (I assume a fictional version of a not-quite-hypothetical member of the band--I believe it's literally guitarist Jeff Simmons who had just left the Mothers) is challenged by an appearance by Billy-the-Mountain-as-Donavan-as-his-Good-Conscience to consider leaving Zappa's 'comedy group'. "What can I say about this new elixir?!"

The hysteria continues on "Penis Dimension" in which we ponder the question, pondering whether the size of your member is of an appropriate and desirable size (and monstrosity) to whomever you might consider 'partner'. What really brings the hilarity through on this one is the fact that this was composed and slated to be performed by classically trained vocalists. Effective, Frank. Thank you for the laughs. The lyrical content to which I'm really referring is actualized in the classical-vocal-led "A Nun Suit Painted on Some Old Boxes" (that nun role performed by yet another famous drummer, Mr. Keith Moon); is this the first reference to dental floss in a Frank Zappa tune? A quick number featuring classically trained vocalists is "The Lad Searches the Night for His Newts", a very funny track that I forget about, likely because it's overshadowed by what follows: "The Girl Wants to Fix Him Some Broth". I personally would love some "hot broth". I would gladly have it with my "tinsel cock", if I knew what in the hell we were talking about... maybe haha. And in what way does "broth remind(...) of nuns"? We are posed with this idea in "Little Green Scratchy Sweaters & Courduroy". I think we can all agree, though, that "munchkins get [us all] hot".

The film and the soundtrack is finished with, of all things, "The Finale", more properly "Strictly Genteel". Now, this I would hope, is a very familiar number, as its main theme is actually, ultimately, the "Inca Roads" theme, first heard primitively on the aforementioned Burnt Weenie Sandwich.

I honestly think 200 Motels is a criminally underrated album, worth its merit as a fine still-early Mothers album and epic Zappa release. Check it out.