RE-WORKS

Oh, I wish I could have been at the meeting where the band and their record company decided to release this little gem. "Hey, I have an idea: Let's remix old ELP material and sell it to the small percentage of our fanbase that has remained loyal." "Great idea, but I think for it to work, we need to erase any traces of talent or even enjoyment." And that's how Re-Works was born. If you stumbled upon this release and actually spent money on it, you have my deepest condolences. I managed to escape with a free listen, but the experience is worth more than gold.

This album is a new low for a band that seems to actively try to kill their credibility. Fans of Fanfare For the Common Man can rejoice as their beloved tune is redone 7 times at varying levels of sacrilege and aural torture. I wouldn't be surprised if this was blaring over the PA at Guantanamo Bay. I know I'd reveal any information I had if the bad men would just make it stop. Forcing others to listen to this has to violate the Geneva Convention.

The experience of listening to this has left me with shellshock. If the draft is ever brought back, you can get out of it by walking into the recruitment office listening to this. They'll declare you a Section 8 and you can stay home. If you cherish the memory of ELP, spare yourself from this. I now regard ELp like Biff Loman regarded his father Willy in Death of a Salesman after the boy discovers his father's affair.

Grade: F