UNDER WRAPS

What would Jethro Tull sound like if he were lobotomized? Well, now we know. Anderson, Barre, Pegg, and Vettese remove all of the wit, prowess, and fun of Tull's sound so well you could almost swear they wanted to. For this album, Vitesse was given control. Charged with this great duty, Vitesse promptly threw monkey wrenches everywhere he could aim. He decided to use a drum machine, which was the first red flag. Drum machines belong in only the heaviest and most technical of metal, never in light folk. Ever. Jot that down and never forget that.

"Lap of Luxury" is usually singled out as the best song on the album. Being the best song on Under Wraps is akin to being the smartest child in alternative school. I honestly can't say it's the best becuase I don't have the mental fortitude to listen to this album enough times to make comparisons. I'll spare you (and myself) a track-by-track review because they all sound the same. If you've heard one crappy track off of Under Wraps you;ve heard every crappt track off of Under Wraps.

As a matter of fact, I wish this album had stayed under wraps. I wish they had taken the master tapes for this and done to them what the U.S. governement did to the Ark of the Covenant in Indiana Jones: seal it in a box, put it in a huge warehouse, and let it remain lost in a bureaucratic quagmire for all eternity. It isn't as bad as ELP's Love Beach, but it comes close. Do not adminster this album to children under the age of 10.

Grade: F